just got my yearly review...

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and I'm pretty bummed out.

I am not as good an employee as I thought I was.

In all the areas that I pride myself on, I scored high. Merchandising, maintaining displays, product knowledge, stuff like that.

But in this one area, apparently my bosses agree I totally suck. And that would be interacting with customers and staff. They said I'm too withdrawn and "shy." They even used the word reclusive to refer to me.

I'm not really "out" as having AS at work. One of the bosses involved knows, but didn't really have that much say in my review. The others don't know. So I can't blame them for holding me to the same standards as everyone else. It just still sucks. I'm down.

Reclusive is a pretty strong word to use to describe someone's job performance, and I'm sorry your boss had to say it that way. But you are great at all the other aspects you know you're great on, so that's good news.

Is there a way you can describe to your boss why you seem shy, yet are still able to do the work (pointing out the positive parts of the review?) They may actually be concerned about your social skills as they pertain to your life, and not just the job.

I hadn't thought of it that way, so thanks for pointing that out. Maybe I should try to explain things to them.

I know I've never gone to any of the parties or band performances that my bosses have invited me to, but never told them why. And I'm pretty withdrawn around all but one of them, who I can talk to because he talks video games. That's the one who I've told I have AS.

You've got to be right about this. It makes sense that I should at least try to explain myself to them. Especially if their misunderstanding of my situation is going to affect any pay raise i might hope for.

Thanks for the response, and the advice.

One of my earlier reviews went similarly - I was actually rated higher than I'd expected for my practical skills in the job, but they needed to see serious improvement socially. If they hadn't been as pleased as they were with the quality of my work, I might not have kept the job. Since then they've acknowledged my attempts to improve in that area, but I feel like it's still looming over me.

Depending on how important social skills are to your role, you may want to be careful when explaining yourself not to give the impression that this is something that will never get better. Even if the reality is that you can only make minuscule improvements (like me), you'd probably score more points by showing that you're at least trying, than by trying to get them to lower their standards for you. Even if you're only at a company party for half an hour, for example, it'll probably look a lot better to be able to say "Yeah, I went to that" as an example of improvement, than to keep declining the invitations.

My job is customer service oriented, so interacting with people is pretty much the most important thing. And that's really the only aspect of my job that I can't handle, in fact I enjoy the work itself just not the people part.

The places they go and invite me to go with them are always bars or music performances, which I can't handle because of the noise.

I wouldn't ask them to lower their standards for me. I will try to get them to understand, in a way that hopefully won't make me seem like a lost cause.

All you should tell them then is that it's too loud for you andthat you have sensitive hearing. If they call you a wimp don't take offense to it, usually they're messing around. They are some understanding people out there, believe it or not.

I work in grocery store where customer service is important also. Despite working on the night shift, we leave when the job is done and that is often after opening time. Working with customers is actually my favorite part of working here. After 4 years working with people constantly it has improved my communication skills greatly, and before I had this job, I was pretty much a mess. Eye contact comes naturally and small talk is easy, on top of making great friends. I would try to improve. They key is to adapt, listen watch & learn. Pay attention to reactions to your communication attempts, if you have trouble with it (we all do), just keep practicing.

Thank you for the response, and the advice.

That's actually a good review.
Look, NO ONE gets a beautiful, shining review, everyone gets something they need to focus on. You just need to work harder at that one skill. If it is really a problem, you have someone else that can stump for you on the job.

They apparently like you. Nothing to fret about.

I agree 100%. If you tell the manager that you will work on what you scored low on and show that you are prepared to improve what needs to be improved rather than disagree/doubt/argue and make a case for yourself, this will be as something the manager will find impressive.

I can see you're on the right track when you said "I'm not as good of an employee as I thought I was," you've got the right mentality. You know that old phrase "if it's broke, then don't fix it?" If it's an noun and not a verb, then it rings true. But someone's performance, especially in the workplace, can always use improvement. Strive to be the best at what you do, that's what I do and it works.

Even when I was just recently starting out with stocking on the night shift, I was even told this a couple times, although it's really what I've always done all along. Before this, at my store I was the best bagger and best cart pusher, and at my temporary side job at the tax place I was the best sign waver. I only got this promotion in October yet I was told a few nights ago by a manager that I am working in the ranks of people who have been doing this particular job for 30+ years.

You might also ask for some tips, perhaps from the person you get along with. Or try to pick out someone who you think does really well at this at work and try to look at what they are doing. What do they say to people? Try to copy them. You could ask your boss if you could spend a day "shadowing" someone at work who is particularly good at this, if you felt comfortable doing so.