How does an aspie cope with the expectations at work?

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I am thirty four, a mother and also a carer for my children.

I would love to embark on earning a wage instead of relying on state benefits, however...being an aspie also, I dont think I could cope with work also. I have my routines and can only cope with so much placed upon me, anything outside myself, two children and partner is an effort. Everything has to be on my terms and not theirs. To anyone else, this would surely sound quite 'the jeremy kyle' culture but I am sure someone will understand......?????

I think you'll find a great many here will understand that perfectly. I can function within someone else's parameters only so far, before I stress out internally and have to walk away, or start unconsciously sabotaging myself with passive-aggressive resistance and end up fired.

If a job doesn't involve something that's compelling and fascinating to me, I simply cannot force my brain to remain focused on it.

Even in a job I enjoy, there seems to be a limit of about one year during which I can fit in fairly well and function without major problems. After that year anniversary, the stresses that have been building over that 12 months will start to crack my 'normal' facade and I find I have less and less tolerance for the environment and the people.

It also seems that's about as long as a manager can go without diddling with whatever system is in place and altering my job description and changing my routines and trying to 'push me out of my comfort zones', which is a recipe for a meltdown.

I work best without supervision and interference, which I kind of consider to be virtually identical.

So to answer your original question...I have no clue...

Self employment is worth thinking about. You can choose who you work with whom and in what conditions . Also when you are setting out you can still claim for the kids and get working tax credits minus the amount you earn. It's working at the pace you can, without being forced to do stuff you know you can't and having a safety net. Don't borrow money to do this if it can be avoided. There's usually a way, and there are grants and all kinds of business support.

This is me as well. I've been working at this job for 8 years. I'm not the kind to start office shootings, but I have vivid images of my fist smashing into my manager's face. Repeatedly. Over and over. Oveeeer and oveeeer and oveeeeer.

Maybe do some voluntary work to offset any feeling of guilt you may feel about adding to the 'Jeremy Kyle Culture'. Or if you really want some moolah, try and find something part time, with few hours. I couldn't cope with my last part time job, and I don't have kids or anything to look after. Start slow, basically, and see where you go.

There are problems getting jobs with benefits. I think on JSA you can work like 18 hours a week and still claim. The problem for a lot of people on Incapacity or what have you is that the system seems to be set up to be either/or: either you are on benefits forever, or you get a full time job that you can keep and never come back, or you face difficulties. An allowance for transition that many of us may need does not seem to be included.

I can't work full time. I tried to work full time when I was 17 - doing data entry. My boss tried to explain to me that the 920 records per day quota was not an expectation, yet the paper I had to fill out each day demanded a reason for me not fulfilling it. She even threatened to fire me cuz she could not HEAR me working. Look! I don't make noise! I don't bang on the keyboard when typing! I was so stressed out I wanted to KILL MYSELF. I quit my job to save my own life.

So, I know how much them nasty Baby Boomers and even some younger people like to complain about me drawing benefits and receiving "free money". But I refuse to work full time! And I refuse to spend a penny of my earned income on: housing, utilities, food, transportation*, & healthcare. Those 5 things are not supposed to cost money and because they do someone else must cover the cost of providing them to me for a lifetime.

*I'll pay my fare when going outta town, but I'm talking more like my LOCAL bus pass for when I'm just getting around town.

I always fear being fired. I just wanna work temp jobs, but VR refuses to assist with finding temp jobs. I'll work when I want things, and once I've bought what I want, I'll stop working. Plain & simple as that. I only work for my wants and demand my needs at the expense of others.

Feel privileged much? Count yourself lucky that you were born in the time of the Diagnosis and someone indulges your fantasies. Have you made any plans for when people get tired of catering to your whims? I mean, after young and pretty comes old and disregarded.

Just wondering.

If what you are doing is working for you then with the economy as it is right now I don't see why you should change it. Work is hell for most people and aspies have it worse than most because *everything* about work is work for us. I honestly think that having a job for an aspie is like having 3 jobs for someone else. The dealing with other humans aspect counts for a couple more jobs. I am grumpy today so maybe I am just feeling cynical.

Sinsboldly & I used to get along better than this. But I doubt we will for too much longer. That mindset is unacceptable to me! It is quite popular among people born before 1970. I'm always shocked when I meet an Aspie or a DeafBlind person who has that mindset. It's rare if I do. Could it be that sinsboldly on WP & Bottesini on AllDeaf.com are the same person? Aww damn...I have had nothing but a BAD experience with Bottesini on AllDeaf.com!

It's the government who provides everything. I can't rely on people who are not obligated cuz they start to refuse after a very short time. So I only live off people who ARE obligated and that would be the government and service providers.

It does not matter about the economy. I'll get fired from every job I try to work if it's more than 3 days a week. If I could make $6,000/month working only 24 hours a week, I'd gladly become financially independent. But for now, working only 24 hours a week I can only make $400/month.

i would bring an ipod (or other portable music players) and an earphone. it really helps listening to your favorite songs during work

Absolutely. Quoted for truth!

I have I hard time coping with life and work, and I do not have any children, so I understand your concerns. Nevertheless, there are several charitable organisations in the UK that help people with "disabilities" (including Asperger's Syndrome) find and keep employment. There is also the employment services agency "Remploy" < http://www.remploy.co.uk/ >, which has branches in many of the major cities. I have never dealt with them, but I know that several of my co-workers originally obtained their jobs via Remploy.

You're right. You don't need to spend a penny on housing - provide your own, build a house, sew a tent, hang a hammock where you can. You don't need to pay anything for utilities... just don't use them. Electricity is a convenience, internet and phone a luxury, not a necessity; water can be self-treated with your cooking/heating fire that you've built, cut the wood for, and started yourself. Don't pay for food. Scavenge off the leavings of others; glean fields and trashcans; hunt, fish and farm your own supplies. Transportation? What cost is there in walking? You don't even need shoes, just enough hours invested to harden your feet to the debris beneath them. As for health care, if you're doing all the above you're more than capable of taking care of yourself in this regard, too. A needle and thread, wood for splints, cloth for wraps, herbs for fevers.

But don't expect me to contribute to your welfare, because you're providing nothing to me. I find your expectation for others to provide for your basic needs on your refusal (not inability) to work to be reprehensible, loathesome and contemptible. There is a difference between basic needs - which I outlined above - and what your demands are that others provide for you. If those things don't cost money, they cost in terms of time and effort. Either you provide one form of investment or the other.


M.

To the original poster:

I didn't need antianxiety/antidepressant meds till I started working after being home with the kids. Just saying.

But I picked the wrong career for an aspie: nursing.

My advice would be to peruse this board for ideas for careers that might work well for you.

relax your paranoia, dear SKOREAPV83, the person on the AllDeaf.com and I are not one and the same. Displaying such hostility, (and for something that really shouldn't bother you much at all (i.e. my opinion), is mildly entertaining, I suppose.

I wish you well, but NIMBY.

Merle

Where do you live where you earn $0.41 an hour?