I'm glad I told my client I'm autistic

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I am currently contracted as part of an international consulting team which has been formed for a client organisation that works in the realm of advocacy for legislative change to further economic development in East Africa. Whether or not my own organisation's contract to continue with further work for them would be renewed depended largely on my feedback following training which I presented, and on my rapport with their lead consultant (with whom I had a five-hour discussio on Sunday afternoon following his arrival from South America).

On the first day that I met the project leader of this initiative, I made sure I somehow brought up the topic of my autism. He subsequently saw 'Adam' (which I have not yet seen) and told me that he admires me considering that he now understands some of the challenges I probably face. I'd already told him that I sometimes don't SEE what a situation demands, and that I need to be TOLD what people expect me to do, for example, whether I should join them at the breakfast table or whether they're trying to have a private conversation.

Well, today I made a big blunder by participating in certain conversations and by voicing my opinions with great gusto in a workshop where I was supposed to be an observer. The project leader then leaned over to me just before we got up to go to tea, and told me that what I was doing was not in order, and that this was not what was expected of me.

What a pleasure it was to be able to go to him at the tea table tea and apologise for my mistake, and to be able to say, with a smile, "See, there's a fine example of what I told you about my naivety in responding to social signals!"

Now, if I hadn't said anything about my autism in advance, it could easily have led to him thinking, "Oh good grief, this woman is a loose canon; we can't have her on our team!" (As it is, he could have thought so anyway; but at least I had given him a mechanism to manage me: viz,. if I get it wrong, just TELL me.)

Instead of rejecting me, the lead consultant, who was leading the workshop and who also expected me to be an observer only, told the project leader this evening that he wanted me to change my flights and stay on for an extra day. I phoned my office and was told that the flight changes alone would cost hundreds of dollars -- and then there'd be the hotel bill for the extra night, and so on... And the lead consultant told the project leader that the money was justified.

I'm autistic. I know that not every autistic person would want people to know, but in my own situation I believe that I reduce my fear of making offensive mistakes as long as people know.

How interesting!

Will it break any rules to find out what some of the development plans are?

That's refreshing. I wish sometimes people would just tell me what I'm doing wrong. I'll bet the freedom to just tell you where you've goofed is a relief for them as well.

That's great to hear. I know people are becoming more accepting of autism spectrum diseases, but I didn't think it got to that level.

Nevertheless, I believe your disclosure is the start of better things to come!

See it pays off to be honest. It's looking good for you. Well done.

Thank-you for sharing my joy!

It is nice to be able to apologise for doing something daft, and to know that even if it means that there are some situations where they won't use me because I don't have the correct social skills, at least knowing I'm autistic will place them in a better position to judge where my skills could be better than those of others because of the abilities which are enhanced rather than impaired by my autism -- for example, my analytical skills and my enthusiasm for systems thinking.

I am so privileged. The lead consultant has offered to mentor me whenever I have questions for him, although this will henceforth not be in person but via Skype, e-mail, etc. (because he lives in South America and I live in Africa). He has given me so much time during the past three days to learn from him.

As for the question about the nature of the development projects: Their basic details are not confidential; they are published in reports, and last night there was a special function at which the consultants were introduced to the client organisations, and I was the second person to be introduced (i.e. after the lead consultant), which was a big honour. However, I prefer not to put these things on this forum, because I also post personal struggles at WrongPlanet (messy meltdowns, me-naked-on-the-floor-with-cuts-on-my-arm, relationship issues, etc.); and although some people I know professionally are aware in general that I need to stim sometimes and some other odd stuff, I don't always want them to know all the details which I'd rather only share aspie-to-aspie. I don't want my client's name to appear in a Google search which leads to here, so I've sent a private message in response to that question.

Yeah lately I've been pondering the wisdom of with shareing it with people. I was rather hesitant for awhile simply cause it seams like I was making an excuse for my behavior. Expecially since I havn't actually been diagnosed. (Althought that seams to be the case for a large number of women on this site).

At this point the only people who I've confided in is my best friend, boy friend, a handfull of people online. (I'm a MMO nut).

So far I've had possitive results like you've mentioned. I found out that many of my wow guild mates have it too, and managed to turn a online enemy into a online friend.

So now I'm wondering if I should be telling more people, specifically potential employers. I mean when and how should it be brought up? It feals tacky bringing it up. But frankly I need a job and I'm tired of fail interviews -.-

Don't worry about failure... If you decide to focus on your strengths that will help you overcome the challenges posed by your AS and make yourself an asset of your company.

You can do it!

Lucky bugger. I have the same problem but generally don't disclose my Asperger's and people think I just have incredibly bad social heirs and graces.

I agree with Ruennsheng. As you indicated, people think you have bad manners and terrible social graces, and this will close doors for you everywhere. I am not saying that everyone will be supportive if you disclose it, but you will certainly find many who will be very unsupportive if you don't -- even nice, well-intentioned people.

As Ruennsheng said, focus on the positives. That way employers can see that there is a unique advantage in hiring you which they will not find in a neurotypical person. Be sure also to mention some of the negatives, so that they will be able to assist you in remaining productive and to fit into a suitable niche if these things should arise (e.g. sensory overload, tendency to say the wrong things, whatever you experience that makes things difficult for you).

I have had so many more advantages from being autistic than disadvantages, that it took many years for me to be diagnosed -- and when I was diagnosed, it was because all the negatives eventually added up, and I fell apart. Now that I have a knowledgeable psychiatrist, helpful friends (including those at WrongPlanet) and a business partner who has learned (albeit with difficulty) how to work with my struggles, I am able to once again put the positives to good use.

It is only once we ourselves learn to rejoice in all the blessings that come with autism, and in the areas in which it makes us better workers, that we will be able to inspire people to employ us not as a favour to the miserable handicapped members of society, but the uniquely talented individuals whose skills in certain areas are superior to others whose brain design does not provide them with the same advantages for specialist positions.

I'm sure he's impressed with your determination. You showed a lot of it. I'm impressed. Great job!