Why can't I keep my big mouth shut at work?

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I am always putting my foot in my mouth at work. It's like I have all these good ideas and all these opinions, and I just can't SHUT. UP. *sigh*

Every meeting I go into I remind myself to be quiet, but I just can't. Any tips? It sounds easy -- just "be quiet" -- but my mouth seems to have a mind of its own. I always want to be so helpful, but I just shoot myself in the foot.

oooh i know what you mean. i used to do the same thing at school all the time. i don't know how to cure it. perhaps i just distract myself with something else? i am happy that you are enthusiastic about work, though. maybe if you organized your ideas into something applicable, like come up with a game plan, they may be apt to listen? i hope this helps... i am sure you have wonderful ideas.

At the meetings at the place i used to work at I wouldnt even offer an idea, I would just sleep with my eyes open, nod if need be, stuff like that.

FIMD common condition with some of us, I have had this affliction most of my life from adolescents on wards

I'm doing better at keeping my mouth shut. In fact, I had an hour-long meeting yesterday, and another one today, and I think I spoke a grand total of thirty words. Of course, I was pretty much superfluous at both meetings... shouldn't have really even been there... had nothing to report... it's not like I was giving a major presentation or anything. (The frustration of spending two hours of my life in meetings that I did not contribute to is substantial, but that's another matter.)

One thing I do that helps me shut up is pretend that I'm the official scribe. I sit, I listen, I write. If I have a question about something, I'll ask for clarification, but other than that I'm quiet. This helps keep me focused on what other people are saying.

Well, you could always covertly masturbate >_>

That's about all you can do.

I must always remind myself that nobody really cares about what I think. I can say you tend to get better at it over time.

FIMD?

I'm new to this and the terms...

thanks!

I am the opposite. I am notorious for NEVER speaking up at meetings. This is mainly because I might get the beginnings of an idea but I it hasn't formed well enough for me to articulate it. I know that if I try to say anything, it will come out a jumbled mess.

What I find works well for me is that I take notes and then, when I am alone in my office, I can write up my thoughts and later distribute them to my co-workers.

But I guess the thing you haven't made clear is why do you feel speaking up is not a good idea? Are you certain you are coming across badly? Perhaps people appreciate it when you speak up. Are you just being hard on yourself because you are not expressing your ideas to their best advantage?

If it's fairly clear that your comments are not adequately appreciated, then perhaps a method of controlling your comments is to keep a note book at ready and instead of speaking up, jot down a note that you can later clarify in detail and send to your co-workers in an e-mail.

Remember that it can be hard to understand what other's are thinking of you and in the absence of information, we tend to assume the worst. You may be better regarded than you think. Or you may not... I don't know. At any rate, biting your tongue and keeping notes may be an answer.

Hope this helps,

Lars

It is 100% certain that my behavior at meetings is not good. I either put my foot in my mouth, and sometimes I offend someone without meaning to. I also say stupid things, and at more than one meeting I did not understand someone is joking and made a fool out of myself.

Other times I present a stream of potentially good ideas, but they way they are presented (rambling, disjointed, etc.) they are not well received. I also have a tendency to speak loudly.

Clearly, if I said less at meetings, I would be a lot better off. I just have such a hard time controlling this urge to speak up.

Other times, if I am in a meeting with only one or two people, I say things that I should not say, like what I really think about something that's completely stupid or I bad mouth things/people undiplomatically. My instinct that these things are stupid is spot-on with the bosses, but I am not skilled in telling people this.

I am going to try to write down what I want to say instead of actually saying it to see if that helps. Trick would be not letting any read what I write. Maybe I'll think of some code words to write that something's stupid.

I know what you mean. One thing that continually plagues me is even when I haven't written anything obnoxious about a co-worker I still get anxious that I might have sent out an e-mail with something particularly derogatory. I imagine all sorts of awful things I might have said or written and get myself absurdly worked up with worry.

Writing in code sounds like a really good idea.

Lars

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who can't keep my big mouth shut. I am usually okay in meetings until someone says something I really disagree with or something I have a strong opinion on and then all bets are off. I have been pulled up a couple of times for saying something that can be taken the wrong way, but if someone is not doing their job properly then I will say something about it and with me, unfortunately, it is not subtle or tactful.

Foot In Mouth Disease