Co-Worker is driving me nuts!

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More of a vent than anything else...

I have a job which has alot of responsibility - but I also have complete autonomy to do things my own way. I am very proud of my work and I believe that most of my staff think I do a great job. I start work at 4am and knock off around midday. I have a co-worker who although he is at the same level as me, has a completely different function. He works a regular 9 to 5 day - although he was here at 6am this morning!

He is a great bloke but he tends to step on everyone's toes, but it seems to be just me who cant handle it. The guy who takes over from me at midday just says "dont worry about it, if he wants to do our jobs for us then just let him". I try to see it this way too but the more I try the angrier I get.

For example... in the last 3 minutes he has just asked one of my staff (publicly) if I had organised something, never mind the fact that he had already reminded me twice since 6am to make sure that it had happened. ARGHHH... I didnt need reminding in the first place and I certainly dont need him undermining my relationship with my staff either.

For example... before I knock off each day I have some organising to do for the next day. As I knock off before he does he seems to feel the need to look at and adjust my forward planning for the next morning. So I get to work at 4am the next day and find little adjustments here and there along with a list of reminders!

For example... he was tasked to design a customer survey and when he was done he sent it to me and asked that I check his spelling and grammar and to make comments on how it could be improved. Which I gladly did. Which he ignored.

Reading back over my post I feel like I am a childish pratt - but honestly - it is like Chinese Water Tourture. I have tried to have a mature conversation with him about it but he just doesnt listen. Some days it takes all of my energy not to go into a complete melt-down.

I hate the fact that I just cannot "let it be" like other people can.

Most of it is little annoying stuff, yes, but you should sit down with him privately and talk about the incident with the staffmember. If he has a problem, he needs to come to you, not one of your employees. Also, let him know that, while you appreciate his input, you are more than capable of organizing your own schedule and would appreciate it if he left it alone. If he has specific concerns that he feels won't be addressed, then you can discuss them. It may be that things happen after you leave for the day that make changes to the next day's schedule necessary, but if so he can send you an email or a memo and you can address it yourself when you come in the next morning.

A yes, the person who doubts your responsibility level. Very annoying indeed!

I worked with such a person once. I believe she was only a few years older than me, but she felt the need to "remind" me about things.

For most of my life, I've been initially ill judged by those around me; often as naive or irresponsible, in one way or another, for reasons I suppose I'll never know, though most discover very quickly they were wrong.

The reality is, unlike most individuals, when I was younger, I was quite devoid of the decadent and self destructive desires of the teenage mind (perhaps due to my unique neurological wiring?). My parents afforded me the uttmost trust because they knew I would never betray it. They forbade me from nothing as it was quite apparent that I was immune to the stresses of peer pressure and completely inflexible on my views of the evils of drugs and alcohol.

In my later teen years, I had to take on the role of parent myself, and care for my younger siblings, which I did to the best of my ability despite my own struggles and the relative poverty we lived in.

And yet here was this woman, treating me as if I were a child who knew nothing of the meaning of the word "responsibility." This completely neurotypical woman who, while I was making dinnner and seeing my younger siblings to bed, she was surely out partying, smoking weed with friends, driving her parents insane as she spent whatever money they gave her on booze and tattoos.

It made me wonder, at what point in her life did she suddenly declare herself that she was more mature and responsible than I?

And then I realized of her, it was only an insecurity. She wasn't "reminding" me for the sake of reminding me, but for the sake of making herself feel better, as she could not possibly fathom a task getting done without her no matter who was tasked with doing it.

And I realized as well she had a lack of depth to her vision. She was a tree in the forest and all she could see were trees. She was a sheep in the flock, and all she could see were sheep. And she saw me through the forest and assumed I was a tree, and she saw me through the flock and assumed I was a sheep, but I was on the edge of the forest, and the edge of the flock, for I wasn't a tree or sheep, but an enigma she could never comprehend. And I could see what she could not, that that there were deserts beyond forests, and oceans beyond sheep.

I agree with the guy who takes over when you leave. If your coworker wants to be a perfectionist who wants to feel all important and responsible, let the dumb bastard do all the work. If he doubts your ability then just play dumb and let him "show you how it's done". Watch him tire himself out and laugh at it.