Work rant (long)

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When I was growing up, I was taught that it’s important to work hard and do the best job you can. I was taught to obey all the rules and to take things seriously. And I was taught to make things better instead of just settling for the status quo. I was taught that if I did all those things, I would be greatly rewarded.

I sincerely and thoroughly believed what I was taught, partly because I’m an Aspie who tends to take everything at face value, but also because it just seemed right to me. After all, if everyone believed that way, wouldn’t the world be a better place?

After years of experience in various occupations, I’ve finally been able to determine the truth.

It was all a bright and shining lie.

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Instead of working hard, it’s much more important to be a “team player”. That means subverting and submerging your true, authentic self in order to mesh with the conglomeration of dysfunctional, deficient and defective persons populating your particular workplace. Unless you manage to stumble upon that rare business/organization where everyone actually does work hard (instead of merely saying that they do), being a hard worker will not bring you praise, glory and wealth as promised. Rather, you’ll find yourself picked on and ostracized by resentful co-workers whose work habits pale in comparison. Even your supervisor won’t truly appreciate you, because they will see your performance as causing unnecessary unrest in the group.

Instead of doing the best job you can, it’s much more important that you perform on the same level as everyone else. That way, they won’t feel uncomfortable about being lazy or sloppy, nor will they fear getting fired because you outwork them. After all, what’s most important is how people feel about working there, not whether any real work actually gets done. Also, your supervisor will appreciate being able to treat you just like one of the other drones, instead of having to worry about ways to reward you without upsetting everyone else.

Instead of obeying all the rules, it’s much more important to figure out which rules your fellow employees actually follow. You don’t want to give them the idea that you think you’re better than them, do you?

Instead of taking things seriously, it’s much more important to relax and simply go with the flow. Don’t worry, be happy.

Instead of trying to make things better, it’s much more important to continue doing things the way they’ve always been done. If you suggest improvements, your co-workers will resent you for making them look bad because they didn’t think of the suggestions themselves. Also, your supervisor will think that you’re being critical of the way they manage. And absolutely no one will like the idea of doing things differently.

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I found out that the truth doesn’t necessarily set you free.

The truth hurts.

A lot.

Sorry if that's all been said here before, but I feel a tiny bit better now . . .

I hate the idea of doing that, why the company want you to NOT work as hard as possible, it confuses me but makes sense to them, or so it seems. I don't plan on an office job so hopefully I don't have to use this information.

I hear you, definitely...I grew up being told that because I was smart and worked hard in school, I could "be anything I wanted" and it's painful to find this may not be the case. in my last job, I was specifically hired to create certain changes in the organization. They were fought every step of the way and it was a huge frustration, and I feel, a waste of all of our time.

They may actually say that they expect people to work hard, but when you continually see blatant slackers go unpunished, you figure out pretty quickly that there's a big disconnect between words and reality.



Ummm . . . I didn't intend this to be used as "information", although I see how it might be interpreted as a (somewhat sardonic) guide to "success" in the workplace. I mainly wrote it because I was so fed up and frustrated with constantly being on the wrong end of all those situations, and I needed to vent about it to a sympathetic audience. I've learned that actually trying to do any of those "much more important" things causes me great internal distress because they are so contrary to my true self, so the less harmful choice is to just suffer the consequences of being me.

I'm curious; how do you plan to avoid an office job?

Gee, you'd think that if they specifically hired you to make changes, they would have given you their full support; to do otherwise was indeed a waste of not only everybody's time, but also the money and effort they spent hiring you. Didn't anybody there ever figure that out?

I cannot understand why people are perpetually averse to change. Granted, change for change's sake is generally stupid, but if there's a genuine opportunity to make a change for the better, why do people fight it so hard?

As a card-carrying, certified Aspie, of course, I believe that logic should win the day, i.e., that the logic behind a proposed change should be sufficient to justify its implementation. I find, however, that for many people logic does not come naturally, so I frequently find myself frustrated by trying to figure out how to present a change so that it will be more palatable to such people. Because I find it so difficult to put myself in other people's shoes, I have not ever had much success with getting changes accepted.

Somewhat similar to your situation, I recently gave a pile of suggestions (unsolicited, of course -- when will I ever learn?) to management. I even went so far as to casually run a few of the suggestions by co-workers beforehand, to try and smooth the way a bit. Well, nearly all of the suggestions have been either rejected outright, ignored or tabled indefinitely. The lone exception was a suggestion for a simple procedural change that everyone approved except one person, whose obstinate refusal will likely kill it off. The lesson I get from this is that if I ever get another idea for doing something better, I need to flush it from my mind immediately and keep my big mouth shut, no matter how much damage it does to my spirit. Not a good way to live . . .

Oh my. This definately resonates with me. Office politics will be the death of me. I do not understand them at all.

Very well put ASPIEd.

I had the "misfortune" to work in some jobs where putting the best in, hard work and making improvements was genuinely valued, so I know how good it can be when the work culture matches your own outlook. And how difficult it can be when it doesn't.

The misfortune is that rather than just having an expectation that it could be better, I actually have experience of it being better. That really sucks.



I was actually employed by a company who were keen to change and improve their poor working practices, and since I had technical trouble-shooting and problem-solving experience, I met their requirements. What I didn't appreciate was that, although upper management were pushing this, the rest of the workforce were adamantly resentful. So I had been employed, on paper, to be part of the change, but, from a lower management perspective, I and others were employed in order that we could be obstructed at every turn (hence selecting people who came from outside the existing structure) in order to prove to the upper management that change would not work. It was a very toxic environment, and it took me a long time to recognise that.

As much as I wish that no one else ever had to go through that much crap, it makes me feel a little better to know that someone else dealt with the same thing.

Well said, although I would add that it's not exactly a truth; it's more of their truth that they currently knowingly/unknowingly believe and/or memetically repeat. Most situations have much more depth and/or detail that are often not realized by neurotypicals. Every time I've worked, or interviewed, or scoped out a business, my mind automatically sifts through many different alternate scenarios and automatically finds ways of improving the business/system currently in place. Translating that into communication in real-time, however, is my disconnect, and can often be misinterpreted. However, one could have the best of both by "going with the flow," while secretly formulating ways of improving a business/system, and contacting the ceo/leader privately (phone/email/etc) and mentioning the possibility for improvement and backing it up with some solid numbers that their "business-mind" can understand. I would never subvert those talents; as there's a large industry of consulting work where exactly these talents are paid for and enacted upon.

It's true, isn't it.
And a common theme on WP.

I think you've made a good point here. It is possible to develop that kind of role over a period of time, if you find the right opportunities in the work-place.

It is probably a very bad idea for an aspie to take a job where you are expected to be an 'agent of change' from the outset, because you really need a tough attitude and solid social skills to counter any opposition, and work-place politics is a minefield. Having the desire and skills to identify and effect change is not enough on its own, because most people really resent change.

One of the best job roles for an aspie, if you have a suitable skill-base, could be in a consultancy / contract / temp role, where you are not a permanent employee of the company where you do the work.

Partly because 'outside expertise' is expected to focus on the job, that's what you get paid for; partly because you don't have to be part of the politics or the culture, you're not staying, you're not looking to 'advance' so you aren't a direct threat to anyone; partly because if it's an awful place, you aren't stuck there; and partly because, once they realise you don't quite fit, they know you'll be moving on, so might be more inclined to just put up with it.

The fact is that, as a general rule, people trust experts, so will listen to a consultant from an outside company (even if they are talking rubbish ) much more readily than a colleague. And, you don't end up stuck there to discover that all your great ideas have been twisted to suit someone's ambition.

The need for stability often makes it seem like a permanent position where you can settle in is a good idea. But if you stay somewhere a long time, and get used to things, upheaval is really tough. And aspies often find that their traits catch up with them, so getting the chance to settle in may not happen.

Although my job-based interactions were ok, I knew my social interactions were awful and misery-making, but had no idea why. I just assumed that people eventually getting used to me was the best I could achieve. Therefore I thought that a job which involved beginning again with new people on a regular basis would be much harder, because I would always have to do the dreaded social stuff. And getting familiar with new places is quite stressful.

I have rarely got to know anyone well, so have been stuck with colleagues I'd known for years, but still couldn't talk to. Now that I don't have the anxiety caused by not knowing what was wrong, I can't help wonder if learning how to deal with regular change would have suited me better. It's a moot point for me, since I didn't have the knowledge I needed, at the time it would have been useful. But perhaps it is possible to make an alien nature work for you, rather than against you, by finding a job where being an outsider is part of the role, since learning enough superficial sociability to engage strangers may be easier than learning how to make friends.

And, if you are unlikely to get on with 95% of the people you meet, the more people that you come in contact with, the more likely you are to find a few that you do get on with.