Urine drug testing

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So I have recently received a new job offer which I have tentatively accepted which required me to undergo a routine physical and urine-based drug test.

Now after the first urine session was failed as I couldn't produce, I was left to wait for my actual physical, in which the doctor inspected me and squeezed my testicles while checking me for testicular cancer (supposedly the leading cause of cancer among males aged 15-35 or so). After that trauma (my testicles are very sensitive), I had to wait for another urine test which I couldn't produce for either. Then the nurse sent me to a coffee shop and I drank 16 oz of coffee which after the two or so hours I was forced to wait definitely made me have to go. Like I said, after about two hours, I went to the front desk nurse and told them I was bulging... after another 30 minutes, the nurse finally came out and began to conduct the test. I STILL could not produce even though I had to pee like crazy. I was literally about to bust... but the rules of the test stated that a nurse (in this case a female) had to be present just outside the open-doored urinal to ensure accuracy.

Now, I can barely pee in a public urinal when others are present, so this was torture... I had to ask the lady to turn on a faucet... and then finally if I could sit down... all while the door was open and she was there waiting. Finally I managed to produce the half a vial that she needed under great duress. Perhaps among the most humiliating experiences of my life. I just can't urinate when under pressure and when there's another person a mere few feet away waiting for it.

God, I'm glad that's over.

Normally, they don't have to WATCH you do it...just ensure you aren't bringing something in that you could slip into the sample bottle. Even some NTs have issue with peeing while others watch. You'd think they'd be better equipped to deal with people who have a problem doing this.

I read about it and it appears most drug testing personnel routinely treat it as a nuisance. I have to say though it was a real ordeal for me. I would have much rather they just patted me down and inspected my entire body (which they didn't even do... I could have probably had a vial of clean urine in my pocket for all they knew and just peed into the toilet) before I went alone rather than stand out there just feet from me waiting for me.

Oh geez, I had something similar. I got hired for a job contingent on a drug test. No problem (or so I thought)..... I had to pee in a cup and be on my marry way. The drug test lady stood outside the door....I knew she was there so I couldn't pee. I wanted to turn on the faucet but they had a rule that you couldn't turn it on until after you gave her the pee cup. Then when I would take too long she would keep knocking on the door. She said I couldn't stay in there too long and I had to return to the lobby and drink water and try again later. I kept drinking water but still nothing would happen....several sessions later she said I would have to come back and try again. Then she wrote on my paperwork "failure to comply" (lovely, just what you want your new employer to see). I told the lady it wasn't that I wasn't complying but I was too nervous to pee with her listening. She didn't care.... I had to go to another place and pee on a different day. It didn't seem like the new place had someone standing outside the door. I explained to my employer that it was because of "health reasons" I couldn't produce a sample the first time .

Don't join the police! lol

Piss tests are an invasion of privacy and dignity. I don't do drugs and I don't do drug tests. Anyone wants a urine sample from me, they can kneel down and open their f*****g mouth.

I haven't had this problem - at least not with the way the places I've gone to did the collection. However, one company I worked for their drug test only involved collecting a hair sample. I believe this type of test is actually more accurate as they get a longer history.

I remember hearing a story about a man that had an upcoming drug test for employment reasons, and was trying to buy urine from two 12 year olds because he thought he could get clean samples from them. (cops had arrested him because they thought he was a pedophile).

I've never had that problem, since the lab technician wasn't standing right at the door. Then again, as I don't do drugs, I have nothing to hide and I want to start as soon as possible when I get hired.

Just so you know exactly how effective these tests are...

I have given my buddy my own urine before. He duct taped a weird plastic thing to his genitals with a heating pad. The heating pad initially was too hot but after an hour cooled down. They check the temperature too. Some urine must be dropped in the toilet and you are not allowed to flush. Furthermore in my Country this test has pushed people from marijuanna to crack. My understanding is that you can clean up from crack in three days and have a clean system.

If any company actually cared about the results they would be purchasing a hair follicle test.

And before you brow beating naysayers give me a piece. I'd rather my buddy smoke marijuana than those other substances.