experiences at Dept. Store

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I'm in my mid 40s. So if I'm dressed in a white shirt and a tie people often think I'm one of the managers (which frankly, yes, I like). So, I'm straightening the shirts and tie tabels, which can be a long and tedious task. Customers are wondering at near-by tables.

'Hi, Ma'am (Sir) (how are you today)'

'May I direct you to anything?'

'Okay, give a shout if I can help you find anything?'

And they like that, that I let them off the hook, that I'm not overly pushy.

And the fact that I'm doing another task and incidentally help them is much lighter touch and much better received than if I high-energy just approach them (generally, of course people are so inherently unpredictable---ourselves fully included!---that nothing works all the time)


So, in men's suit yesterday I was rotating amongst three customers are looking for differently. It occurs to me, it would have worked even better if I had had been organizing racks at the same time, the 'less is more' art model. So, be helpful, but maybe even have a 'store inspection' story to tell (yes, a fib, a lie if you will, but it's a face-saving lie on both sides)

Oh, my God, a sale Sunday through Weds, and then yesterday Thurs, the store was run so thin. From 2 o'clock onward, I was the only employee in men's suit. And when I took my meal break at 6pm as scheduled, there was no one there. The managers were real thin, and I think they were wiped out, and even from there schedules too many hours from the sale. This one temp manager for Christmas, oh, she's a breath of sunshine, a return where they had the receipt but not the little crapola tickets from the shirt, I called, she said, 'okay, I'll walk you through it.' I thought, we scan in the top and bottom bar code on the receipt as normal. The receipt only had two shirts fortunately, so it's these exact shirts, so I type in the ten digit number for one of these shirts. Then I left it. I kind of took the return to the point where I was reasonable confident and then I waited for her to come. In just a few minutes, she was there. The next step, this adhesive sticker with a second bar code we put on each purchase (supposedly to let the customer return without a receipt but it does add a layer of complexity). . . . So she gets there, she said I did it just right. And you just pop through that second bar code. You just hit return. So I had prepped the return for her. I was in there trying, but under trying, and that worked very well. I was with the flow, but not trying too hard. She gets another phone call. She's nervous about that. You can hear the tension in her voice. The store is at some risk of sliding outside her control. By being nervous, she came across a little bit as being weak. And I have done this as a manager. I have been visibly tense. I have cared too much. The solution is, not to care that much, and you can't really fake it.

Okay, some other employees like me because I say hello and I talk as I walk, 'Oh, you guys have the toughest job in the whole store. You really, really do' They really do! They pick up clearance womens clothing. I keep it short, light, reasonably optimistic. Something I learned living in apartments. You keep walking as you talk to a neighbor. That way, they're not tense about gettting bogged down.

But afterwards, I'm depressed, sometimes angry (after a shift). All these social skills doesn't really lead to anything. (I'm still living with my parents. That's awkward. Yeah, after 20 years of living on my own!)

Monday, working shoes by myself. greeting every customer, trying to let them know I'm available, getting the shoes from the back, small labels, the companies could really get sales people on their sides by having big labels, looking for a Kenneth Cole "On the Rise LE" (the adhesive sticker on the bottom of the shoes). In the back, the Kenneth Cole shoe names are "Rise 2 The Top" "Rise To Fame LE" "Smooth Touch LE" and six other names of shoes. How am I supposed to know that "On the Rise LE" equals "Rise to Fame LE" I just looked at it because it had LE, but a bunch of other shoe names had LE, too, so I basically just got lucky.

The department really should have two experienced people, not one new person.

So, I getting shoes, ringing up, ringing up the casual slacks next to us. handling the occasionaly return. Keeping the department in reasonable shape (people often leave the paper stuffing from inside the shoe on the ground, and the clearance section becomes a mess) And finding the model's location, to put the shoes I've taken to the back, back into their proper space.

I'm walking through the department organized. Maybe a grin on my face. That I'm doing okay, that customers kind of like me, maybe a grin that I'm pulling it off. The Aspie smile? Walking through the department maybe proud that it's back in shape.

"You need to be setting up for the sale."

This voice from 25 feet away. This guy who had been setting up this table.

"You should be . . . "

I say, something about it being above my pay grade, that I am a new employee, that I'm doing what they asked me to do.

In the back, working a task, I stew. So, this guy is younger than me.

He talks to me across a department. I don't know him from Adam.

That I was 'playing' although I wasn't really. Aspie 'playing', that he finds it so appalling he breaks social etiquette.

I see the guy two days later, kind of stare at him to make sure it's the same guy. That's not good. I'm just going to look past him (and he had previously brought me something from jewelry to bring back, as if he was assigning me a task. I want to say to him, hey, son, this is the wrong department, you need to bring it to the right department. And it still gals me that he treats me poorly and I'm older than he is)

He reminds me of bullying incidents from other stores. He reminds me of my Dad.

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But, I'm not going to let this individual keep me from the good stuff of the job. A deflecting 'Okay.' whatever he says. A matter-of-fact 'Okay' Neutral.