Work want me to "come out aspie"!

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Meredith
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18 Nov 2010, 8:48 pm

Hey all, just needed to run this by everyone because It's making me freak out! But they justified it very well (curse them!).

So my Asperger support service have been ever so helpful since my diagnosis and have been working with my employer to make "reasonable adjustments" to my working day to help reduce my ridiculous levels of anxiety. In doing this I would be doing work more suited to my talents, but which also warrants a larger pay grade.

The problem is, as they rightly pointed out, giving me these adjustments is going to ruffle some feathers of other people who have been working hard to get the same kind of work.

There solution to try to "ease the tension" is to get me to explain to everyone that I have Asperger Syndrome and to teach everyone about it.

Just the thought of "coming out" so to speak is terrifying, let alone teaching everyone about it! However I can see how it would ease the tension a bit. So I'm stuck. :(

What do you think?



BTDT
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18 Nov 2010, 8:55 pm

I think the important thing for you to do is to show that you can do the work, thus justifying the promotion! Congratulations on your promotion!

This is no different than someone getting promoted to management--people always feel that they should be the manager, even when they are horribly unqualified to manage.



mimsy123
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18 Nov 2010, 10:49 pm

I think you should only come out if you want to, not simply because they're pressuring you to do so. If you really think it will ease tensions and it's worth it to you, then go for it. It seems like you've really lucked out with an employer who is willing to help. (and congrats on the promotion, of course!)


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Alex_M
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29 Nov 2010, 2:26 pm

Don't come out at work, for any reason - that cost me the one chance I had for a job in my chosen field.



autisticon
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07 Dec 2010, 7:32 pm

Meredith wrote:
What do you think?


For me, even though I know what I am and learning what it was that makes me this way was very important to me, I choose to keep it to myself. I despites being labeled as this or that. People don't forget things, and what can be an innocent label can easily become a malicious one when they're not happy with you. For example a co-worker decided to be open about having ADD and taking medication for it, he's an oddball at times but a good guy. Yet people talk about him behind his back and every time he does something wrong I hear a comment like "Yeah, well that's because he has ADD... the guy even takes pills for it" with such a snarky tone. I'd die if I knew people were making similar comments about me.



kbergren21
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12 Dec 2010, 12:18 am

Do not tell a soul at work! They're your coworkers... Not close friends. Its best to keep it that way.



RICKY5
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14 Dec 2010, 12:56 am

"Going public" is helpful if you think you might be on the receiving end of office politics BS.

It keeps the management spooked of firing you for fear of a discrimination lawsuit.

Cost of filing a lawsuit for for more than ten thousand dollars: $70

Cost for a company to hire a lawyer who will tell them to settle out of court: $5000

Do the math! :twisted:



amber_missy
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14 Dec 2010, 8:44 am

I think that, as long as your management are aware of the situation then there's no reason to tell anyone else. If anyone queries the promotion then it's because your particular attributes make you more suited to the job than anyone else - yes, that includes the AS, but will not be the only reason - they're not allowed to discriminate in a negative OR positive way because of the AS, so the promotion can't be "just because of your AS". However, if your AS influenced your personality, way of looking at the world and particular skills / talents, and all of these aspects of you make you more qualified than any of the others.... who are they to argue!

You should be allowed to get on with your job and promotion without your colleagues knowing if you aren't comfortable telling them. It's none of their business.



Todesking
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16 Dec 2010, 1:25 am

When I worked at a resteraunt some of the people I worked with knew I was in special education and could not wait to tell people that I was in it. They made my life a living hell about it. The funny thing is the doctor who diagnosed me for Aspergers said he saw no signs of learning disability they mistook the Aspergers for ADHD. :roll: 1975-1985 was spent in hell for no reason. :roll:

I can almost garantee someone will use your autism against you or think less of you for having it. I would be very careful of who knows your dx.


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Allemande
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16 Dec 2010, 9:12 pm

That's really a complex situation.
You really should only come out if you want to. Please, don't do it otherwise!

But, probably different from most people on this forum, as it seems, I would take that that opportunity to come out.

If my job environment were more aspie-friendly as to make "'reasonable adjustments' to my working day" , i would find that a great opportunity to teach people on asperger syndrom. Probably they would talk about me on my back. well... to that kind of people I REALLY WISH THEY ALL GO TO HELL.
On my job, they give a lot of credit to non-work time soclal situations, and even work is made on very non formal way. And that get's me in a lot of trouble, even if it don't slow my results at any way.

The problems we face with jobs are absolutely ridiculous, and our society is completely ignorant to continue with them. As Temple Grandin says here:
(it should have a link to a ted talk with temple grandin...but the forum didn't accepted my urls... But it is quite easy to find.)
We need all kind of minds as a society!! If we don't search that, we are doomed.