A condescending co-worker

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I work with a co-worker whose moods costantly and act like my friend one minute and like a bully the next. Today, she happened to boss me around about checking texts on my phone. I then confronted her about it. She then asked me I was being a smart butt. She then went on to compare me to herself by telling me that she just checks and ansqeanswring her texts. I then said that I was doing just that. Now, that.
Does anyone have some feedback?

Ignore it when she's snarky.
She probably just likes the reaction.

I once had a coworker who was grouchy and sarcastic with everyone. There were times when she and another coworker would be at each other's throats, just arguing like children. When I found out she was an elder at her church, I waited until the next time she mouthed off at me and then quipped, "Is that would Jesus would do, Michelle?" She left me alone after that, which isn't what Jesus would do either, but Thumper's mom did say, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

If the coworker continues to bother you and attempts to micromanage you when that's not her job, file a harassment complaint because she is interfering with your ability to do your job. Otherwise, you will have to do what emlion suggests, which is to ignore her so she has nothing to build her attention whoring / conflict addiction upon.

She is a lead and there has been micromanaging me and I do not like it and especially since I have been for 7 years, and she has only been there for 7 years. What should I say when she keeps trying to boss me around like that? She has also tried to bully me around by calling me up to get mad at me just because I happened to jump to conclusions think she was doing something else when she really called in sick. I had then told another co-worker something which she didn't want me to but it slipped out, and I got told on.

She is nice enough but she can be very condescending and I do like that. She also is one who likes to go around and start rumors about other people, and then twist what she said behind your back. We are cordial to each other but I really don't trust her.

Office drama.. its the worst. The part I put in bold however is something you need to be aware that it is harassment.. particularly if she's in a position above you. You really should report this anonymously to the HR dept... that behavior is probably what is causing a lot of friction at work.

When you look at things objectively, its your job thats important not hers. The reason why HR depts do anonymous complaints is to avoid retaliation within the office.

If you do give a written complaint please have someone else write it in their own words for you though.. I know too many HR dept people who are so lazy they just show the anonymous complaint to the person in question...who usually can ID who wrote it just from the writing style/verbage used.

Correction, she has been there for two years. This is also a small company.

I wouldn't really count that as bullying (unless it was repeated). Most people would be mad if you jumped to conclusions like that or blabbed about them to other people- that's how rumours and gossip get started.

But re: the phone message reading.. that's out of line You're well within your rights to tell her to p-off...

Silent stares back can help.


You are wise. Do not trust her.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this kind of under the radar bully.
She is mean, cruel and clearly enjoying stressing you out.
You do not deserve this kind of work environment. Try to avoid
her if you can. As much as possible. Be polite, focus on your work
but avoid talking to her to much. Keep it simple.

Try to be as unresponsive as you can when she acts mean.
Silence is a great powerful ally. It will help you to ignore her.
Silence can be a great source of power because she will wonder
why you are being silent, she will try to engage you and try to get you
to respond. Just give her blank stare.

Remind yourself you have been there longer and you do not need
to listen to her rants, put downs or bitter comments. She is trying
to hurt you. Give a polite smile when she gossips. But say nothing
back. It will be hard but try to ignore, look away, keep really
busy even if it means organizing pencils.. have a list of tasks to
do that when she behaves like this you can go to your list
and begin them while ignoring her. Silent smiles are best with
evil like this.

It will be really, really hard. My AS son has a volunteer job
and one of the supervisors at this job is mean. He has learned
to walk away, find a new task awy from her to work at. He avoids her.
He also kills with kindness. Not sarcasm but kindness. He can do
this part as he is not actually working there but a much needed
volunteer. When she is super mean, he responds with a
"Thank you." and silence. This has been hard since he tends
to want to correct her or argue or tell her she is being mean
but he is learning to just smile and be silent.

I do not think you should respond with the thank you. If you had been there
only a few months I would recommend this. But since you have been
there longer just ignore her. Remind yourself when you are ignoring her
that she is trying to get you to react. Be strong you can do this.
She is an evasive under the radar bully who is trying to hurt you. I have
seen this kind of person many times. I can not stand them myself.
They try to get close to you and get your confidence then swoop in to
attack and you are shocked by the cruetly. Be careful she is not nice.
I am very black and white. If you do not like me, why talk to me.
I have trouble dealing with co-workers like this who have so much time to
act mean. A cat playing with a mouse. I am the mouse who winds up
hurt. But I have learned and you can too to be safe.

I really hope this person leaves you alone. Be strong, silent and safe.