When people say 'just find a career that fits you'

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Sweetleaf
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28 Feb 2011, 9:35 pm

How? I am aware aspergers comes with special intrests......but even if you find something you are intrested and even pursue it in college....how do you go about putting that to use. I mean I think its ridiculous to think you could apply for a job and say 'well I suck at social skills because I have aspergers but I am good at this one thing'......I mean maybe this kind of thing is easier for aspies that have confidence and self esteem.

But I guess I really don't see how even if I do find something I am intrested in pursuing how I would even do that.....I mean it seems like social skills, a competitive attitude and confidence is needed regardless. Lets face it employers are not there for personal support when you are struggling they are there to hire people who will get the job done and behave appropriatly. Or maybe I have just never had a good employer/employee relationship.

Well and in this economy finding a job in general is difficult for everyone.....especially people with significant problems.



lotuspuppy
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28 Feb 2011, 9:43 pm

I am going through the same dilemma. I think it hits all people our age, though, not just Aspies. Truth be told, people our age who know exactly what they want to do are the exception, and not the rule. No one really knows what they want to do until at least 30, if not later.

Society pressures us to get a career path early on. I am trying to resist it. I am delaying graduate school for a few years because I don't want to commit those resources until I am ready. Even then, people can and do change careers. My aunt was a waitress starting in her twenties, and did that for years. Sometime in her forties, she decided she was tired of it, and went into sales. She is now an IT executive who flies across the nation and sells software to states and municipalities.



purchase
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28 Feb 2011, 11:05 pm

Is there anything you love so much you would do it even if no money were to be gained from it? That seems to me like the best way to choose a career (if that's what you're looking for rather than just a tolerable job). Cause you're likely to be pretty good, and by pretty good I mean great, at whatever it is just from time spent on it alone and therefore actually probably have the best chance at getting hired at it and paid for it. That's my belief!



auntblabby
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01 Mar 2011, 12:05 am

purchase wrote:
Is there anything you love so much you would do it even if no money were to be gained from it? That seems to me like the best way to choose a career (if that's what you're looking for rather than just a tolerable job). Cause you're likely to be pretty good, and by pretty good I mean great, at whatever it is just from time spent on it alone and therefore actually probably have the best chance at getting hired at it and paid for it. That's my belief!


that pretty much describes me, though unintentionally. i have done various forms of audio restoration since 1991, but i've only been able to rustle up 2 paying customers in all that time, 20 years of basically nothing. hell, i couldn't even give my services away for FREE! it turns out that many afficianados of phonographic recordings [LPs 45s 78s] LOVE the sound of their precious discs with all their crackles, pops, hisses, rumbles and groove roaring intact, for some perverse reason. however, there is nothing else i love to do to the same degree, as making old music sound new[er] again. it is its own reward. but i sure would appreciate a job in it. maybe in the next life, i guess.



Sweetleaf
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01 Mar 2011, 12:44 am

purchase wrote:
Is there anything you love so much you would do it even if no money were to be gained from it? That seems to me like the best way to choose a career (if that's what you're looking for rather than just a tolerable job). Cause you're likely to be pretty good, and by pretty good I mean great, at whatever it is just from time spent on it alone and therefore actually probably have the best chance at getting hired at it and paid for it. That's my belief!


Not really, most of the things I like would not get me a job and thats the lesser of the problems......even if there was something I was passionate about that could be made into a career I would lack the social skills nessisary to get anywhere. And no one wants to hire a depressed loser that does not know how to socially interact well. Not trying to put myself down but even if I am not feeling particularly depressed its pretty obvious that my self confidence is non-existant. And as it turns out apparently people find me threatening before they get to know me I am short and thin so I don't see why it must be that obvious that things are not how they should be in my mind. So yeah its made job interveiws akward( I really do hate those).



purchase
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01 Mar 2011, 12:50 am

Ahhh! This is ridiculous but I feel like I've talked to a celebrity now, auntblabby! I always love your posts. Well everyone's posts are special in their own way, I should like playing favorites, but you're pretty wise I'd say. Maybe what I said was on the idealistic side then but hopefully you will get to make money at what you love in this life.



purchase
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01 Mar 2011, 2:25 am

Oh sweetleaf you're right you shouldn't put yourself down like that! (I like your name cause it already sounds like sweetheart. But that's neither here nor there.) Anyway I have pretty low self-esteem in some ways too. There must be some things you really enjoy though. Even something that doesn't fit into a single already-defined category. Even if you're not "good" by existing standards at them you can become good.

And graduate school seems like a good option for anyone interested in a certain topic that doesn't usually require great social skills. Just pretty good grades and the recommendations that go with them and good enough test-taking skills for the entrance exams and some kind of internship experience that isn't that difficult to arrange, from what I've seen.



auntblabby
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01 Mar 2011, 3:37 am

purchase wrote:
Ahhh! This is ridiculous but I feel like I've talked to a celebrity now, auntblabby! I always love your posts. Well everyone's posts are special in their own way, I should like playing favorites, but you're pretty wise I'd say. Maybe what I said was on the idealistic side then but hopefully you will get to make money at what you love in this life.


gosh :o
thanx :D
and you are NICE. 8)
i wonder what about me made you think of a celebrity? i used to drive a chevy celebrity sedan- that and literally bumping into ted turner on a business flight out of atlanta in 1985, was as close as i ever got to celebrity.
i will dwell on your encouraging words to keep me afloat in the coming years.



Dantac
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01 Mar 2011, 4:13 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

....but even if you find something you are interested and even pursue it in college....how do you go about putting that to use.....

Not really, most of the things I like would not get me a job and that's the lesser of the problems......even if there was something I was passionate about that could be made into a career I would lack the social skills necessary to get anywhere. And no one wants to hire a depressed loser that does not know how to socially interact well.


This can't be sugar coated... what you say is true. Almost all jobs rely on social skills to both get the job, stay in it and go up the food chain.

That, however, is not the mark of the doomed. ;)

'Find a career that fits you' is actually good advice. You just need to realize that this doesn't just mean finding a career that you are interested in... it means a career that involves something that you already do naturally...almost like a second nature...it also means a career that fits your personality type.

I started college gunning for a digital media & game design degree because I was really interested in it and I had very good computer skills. It turned out this wasn't the thing for me since it required a lot of graphic & art skills which I just could not handle. Im artistically brain dead.

So I moved on to trying to do an IT related career.. took a bunch of classes for it, got great grades..just short of finishing my associates degree I had the chance to work in an entry level IT position... and what I saw in that place made me cringe. That was NOT the kind of career I wanted. I'm good with computers but its not my passion..and seeing how stressed out and how much ass-kissing went on in that job... ugh hell no. I dropped it.

Years later I landed a job in a travel agency. I loved the job..even if the socializing and ass-kissing was stressful... I tried to look for a degree related to it but they were all hotel & management based degrees. As I went up in the travel agency ranks the chances of promotions and raises it kept becoming more an more office politics and social networking and less work performance related. Found that disgusting and dropped the idea of pursuing it as a degree.

However... in that agency I found what was my true passion/calling. The agency would give us slight discounts and access to some perks when we traveled if we submitted a 'report' on places we visited. That report was used by other depts. to seek out new opportunities and contracts in the local area where we traveled. My manager mentioned that I was the only one who did not mention hotel quality or attractions in the area or bars or..anything that people traveled for.. I would instead write about people, how they lived, what they ate, their history and culture and other such observations. She jokingly sent me an email saying I wasnt a travel agent but an anthropologist and that I was in the wrong business.

So I looked up the major & career and realized THAT was me. What I did naturally is what they do for a living. The major allows multiple specializations, many of which involve study of objects and artifacts using scientific methods to make inferences about their use in a cultural setting...and it wasnt a socializing-heavy job..in fact its mostly for loners and 'odd people' types. HMMMMM that sounds familiar... sounds like ME. :D

Now i've 2 years left of univ. to finish the major..and I keep in touch with that manager. She's getting a bottle of good wine when along with a copy of her joking email & a copy of my degree ;)

Find what it is you do naturally, what you enjoy doing, what you are interested in... and then find major that makes use of those skills. Then look up the jobs that degree can land you and see if a good number of them fit your personality.

... or list those things here and you can have a bunch of us bored-to-death aspies giving you options ... weekend's coming up and I betcha most of us got nooothing to do :P

Edit: Watch this.. its very on topic. http://www.hulu.com/watch/219275/tedtal ... ,vclip,1,0