Wallourdes wrote:
Getting pushed around ones results in getting pushed around all the times after that.
Make a big deal out of this, what is the worst he's gonna do to you? Hit you? He'll be out of a job.
Don't end up like Milton from Office Space.
That's the baseline advice, and thank you for laying the baseline on the table.
I played out the scenario several times in my head where I complained to management and/or the human resource lady. It doesn't work out. And I'm going to go with my gut feeling on this one.
On a previous occasion which I did complain about, the guy talked sh*t on his day off. I had come over to my newly assigned work area in business attire. He's there in street clothes talking to another co-worker. He says to me "You know, what you said the other day was really dumb . . . " and the he goes on and on and on.
Once he left, he had kind of built up the other co-worker I think, a medium argument over a task with this other co-worker . . . . and it escalates to him getting right in my face and saying 'WHEN I GIVE YOU A TASK' and me saying 'SON, YOU ARE NOT MY BOSS.'
subtle, isn't it (being ironic of course, and any halfway decent manager can see a mile away you don't cause problems on your day off, you don't talk sh*t on your day off)
That's basic. That is as bad as drinking on the job. And the second guy should not have followed this guy's lead and tried to be some kind of 'touch' guy.
I talked with the main assistant store manager. Part of the problem is that I am rotated between shoes and this other commission dept. The commission sales people, of which I am one, resent me whichever one I am at, because I am taking money out of their pocket. They have a problem with scheduling, they should take it up with management, not me. I even told the assistant manager, "I feel like I am a man without a country" and "I am treated as a redheaded step child."
(I had previously told my dept manager, "I don't want to mention who is it. But one of the sales people has said to me, 'If you're going to come over here and take our sales'" She said, "I'll talk to him.)
But the main store assistant manager, bizarrely, did not get it.
He viewed me as the problem.
I think because he thinks I should have gone to my dept manager, not him. Somehow overlooking that the thing escalated from 20 to 60 on one occasion. And he kind of viewed me as not a permanent employee, just Christmas. At one part, he even said, my manager needed to "define my role." (When I was offered the guy and this older fellow shook my hand, he offered me a permanent commission position. When I came back on Monday to fill out my paperwork and begin my first day of training, the young lady working as an administrative assistant told me it was Christmas only and it was 75 cents an hour less than had been stated. And she said, "Don't blame him. He didn't know." The people in this second commission dept assumed I was not on commission. The people in shoes directly asked me, which was a little uncool. I told them, No, I don't think I'm commission, but I still have my sales numbers to meet. It turns out I was on commission but I was in deficit for training, working noncommission departments my first Saturday, ringing for other people my second Saturday, etc.)
So, my judgment, no, if they're not going to take seriously something as straightforward as this guy getting right in my face and saying "WHEN I GIVE YOU . . ." when he has no supervisory capacity at all, and if they're not going to take seriously something as straightforward as this other guy talking sh*t on his day off, no, they're not going to take seriously something as subtle and open to misinterpretation as the guy putting his hands on my shoulders. (Really a bullying move, but I was there and they were not. He had placed his hands on my shoulders previously, but I had not resisted, and he had not pushed the second time)
'Mr. _________, Sir, take your hands off my shoulders'
That's what I'm geared up to do next time. The guy caught me off caught this time, Not next time.
And oh, yeah, as I've preached before. My post "Tight, Defensive Boxing to a Draw"
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616.html
as a baseline of confidence, hoping not half to use it, but available if I do.
Also a situation, of a very clear cut issue of a co-worker in shoes stealing sales from me. And the manager on duty, after first saying she would come over and talk with me, bailed on me, saying I would have to take it up with my manager who was back in a couple of days.
And remember, all this for a job barely above minimum wage (!) (!) Better jobs are easier. The hardest jobs you'll ever have are these low-paid, entry-level, service jobs. There's a lot to be said for just skipping these and going on to the good jobs.
(A couple of lessons: It's one thing to be hired to run a register. Okay, the managers are the officers, you're part of enlisted personnel, so be it, that goes with the territory. It's quite another thing to be low person on the totem pole in a direct, immediate way with the people you're working with right then and there. And if you're shuffled back and forth between two different commission departments, you're going to be unwanted wherever you there. They're always going to hope that "that guy" is at the other place. Fold the hand, or very aggressively (assertively) raise the issue with your manager and if he or she doesn't effectively advocate on your behalf, fold the hand.)
I will respond to the other person who was good enough to make a comment. But this is an emotional thing, and it might take a little while.
22 Mar 2011, 4:26 pm
