If Not Aspie, What Is the Issue?

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Hey guys, I'm married to an amazing neurotypical (we think) husband and I'm the one with the job. We're almost positive I'm an aspie, just waiting for the neuropsychologist's test results (MMPI-2).

I am posting this here because it's mainly about lack-of-jobness but it's a little more than that too.

My husband has taken all the online aspie quizes I have, and score even slightly more aspie than I do... but we've come upon a problem because he only took them for fun (though he was honest when taking them). When it comes to childhood behavior, he was a good kid. He didn't have meltdowns or anything like that... it appears he's just an introvered neurotypical. Everything I have researched and interviewed his mother about comes back negative.

Still, he has a very hard time holding a job, and it's not for want of trying. He's been jobless for a year or so, filled out more than 200 applications, only had a handful of interviews, and still nobody will hire him (we're talking for both the "good" jobs and crappy jobs like restaurant janitor or mcdonald's or whatever). Even his brothers who are all constantly in and out of jail have jobs, and they have been fired god-knows-how-many times too. My family looks down on him for this, and they won't help us out at all. they say it's his fault. My thoughts are that you can't just walk into a place and say "hey, I'm here to work. pay me." And he wants a job badly.

He's starting to be kind of depressed because the more I talk about aspieness and the forums, the more he thinks he's definitely neurotypical, and that makes him think there really IS something fundamentally "wrong" with him. It makes me sad because I don't know what to do. I don't fault him for not having a job, the ONLY reason I do is a BUNCH of people put their jobs on the line for me... I haven't had another offer for a job since I got this job two years ago, though I myself am dying to get out of the office.

Help? Advice? I know aspies have issues getting jobs... but if my husband IS in fact neurotypical than why is he having the same struggle? If he's an aspie or other-wise asd, why is he ok with social situations? (not great, but he;ll look you in the eye and can do small talk and whatever not else)

Has he done any interview skills courses? This can really help, also a course in correct CV construction can really help at times too. Doing different CV's highlighting important job skills that he has for each job and specific to each job can really help increasing interviews offered.

First thing that will help with constructing CV's is to list all the things he's good at because then you can look at jobs and match the skills/abilities with that required for the job. It will probably be difficult for him to list things at first as he's not feeling so great about himself at the moment though.

Hope this helps.

where are interview skill courses taught?

he's got a resume (which baffles me but whatever) and I think it's pretty strong... I lost ount of how many people it's been sent to though...

A lot of aspies are introverts but by no means all, and 25% of neurotypicals are introverts. Within the neurotypical population there is much diversity, there is a misconception that NTs are all the same I hate those online AS tests, they are highly subjective. Anyway, your husband sounds like a neurotypical who is a strong introvert and therefore he is most likely also very sensitive. Introverts have a hard time surviving in a society that is designed for neurotypical extroverts, which are the majority. Find some introvert forums, they all say the same thing and suffer the same as your husband. Also, does he know his personality type? If not, tell him to take the Myers Briggs personality test and that will give him more of an insight into himself and also more acceptance of himself. There are many forums dedicated to each personality type and it's always awesome to find others so similar to yourself

Here's a great site for introverts: http://www.theintrovertzcoach.com/intro ... ction.html

Finding a holding a job is a problem faced/experienced by many people, not just Aspies. Since his work record might be standing in the way of *finding* a job at the moment, what are the reasons he has had difficulty *holding* jobs in the past?

Usually interview skills are taught at places that exist to assist people find work but I wouldn't have any idea where one of those are in your country.

About the CV, having about six different ones catering to specific jobs is what is needed. The employer doesn't need to know about things that don't apply to the job that your husband can do. Also, if your husband were to do some type of volenteer work (just one or two days a week) it could be put on the CV helping the employer to see that he hasn't been idle between jobs. Also, reference letters can be very helpful.

Just to reiterate, multiple resume's (for different jobs) give a better chance of a person being called for interview. Having a specifc resume for a specific job is even better because it shows more interest.

Mainly health issues. He is usually a top worker but if he gets sick it is pretty awful... The last job was lost thanks to having to wait on insurance insurance for a tooth to be extracted. He wasn't able to get out of bed or talk to me the pain was that bad, much less work. It was rediculous.

Thanks for all the help I know ther are plenty of nt intraverts it just seems a year with no job is extreme