work misery

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Hi guys (and gals),

I know I shouldn't really complain as I have a good well-paid job, but it is just making me so miserable. I like the work and get on with my co-workers who are quite tolerant of my eccentricities, its just that my line manager constantly seems to come up with things that I have done wrong, not work related, some quite off the wall stuff. My co-workers seem to think he are being a bit harsh (blowing a mountain out of a molehill over stuff), but my line manager just says that he is stating company policy.

I am left feeling like the line management are out to get me and am scared I am going to do something wrong again and I cannot work out if the line is being genuine. It does not help that one of my co-workers thinks the line is not being genuine and I cannot work out who to believe.

Ultimately all I want to do is to get on and do my job (which I am very good at) and to not be constantly critized about stuff that I cannot see as being a big deal.

I know a few things that I could tell the media about my company (safety issues) that the media would distort and blow out of proportion. This would get the line manager out of my hair (likely finish his career) and stop me having to do the current job I am doing (mandatory secondment for 2 years). I am only going to do this job for 3 years so not too bothered about my career. I feel that doing this would be a bad idea/immoral, but it still makes me want to do it. Is that revenge and is that a really bad thing to do? I do not think it would get back to me (they might think it was me but there would be no evidence) and any case I don't think they could make my life more miserable.

ABC Working Wounded has a number of articles that maybe helpful.

I don't think airing dirty laundry in public is ever a good idea unless 1) you're exposing significant corruption or major health & safety issues, 2) your ass is well covered (document, document, document) and 3) you get whistle-blower protection. I don't know how things work in your country or your company. Maybe there's some sort of employee advocacy office in human resources or an employee assistance program.

dude face the isues that are affecting your work and see where your going wrong......aspies often perceive wrongs and in justice when none is there.
and the revenge thing is an aspei thing as well.
talk to you line manager or a mediator before getting the media or any one else involved.

There's a book called "Dealing with people you can't stand: bringing out the best in people at their worst"

I saw it on my professor's desk and was so amused that I had to buy it.
Unfortunately, I haven't read it--as modifying greatly for the sake of others in not in my stars right now. Maybe when I have a high paying job.

But I've flipped through.

Basically, it cuts everyone to a personality type and shares the motivations behind that type. It is great for self assessment as well. It says why people are the way they are. Surprisingly it seems that, well what stood out to me was something to the effect that they don't recieve confirmation on something that they have said and that they are sorta on auto pilot.

Personally, I'm pretty grateful to have not been in one of those jobs for awhile.

I isolated my problems to this:

My perfectionism really is an issue with others and learning to whine, complain, and project faults in self and others has been miraculous.

Good luck.

If you would like: I will dig out and ship you the book. Just a glance through really was that helpful--or, since as things go for me I will immediately need it once it is shipped, you could buy it yourself on my promise that it really is that great.

Thanks peeps, I think I just needed a rant.

I shouldn't complain as my co-workers have been really supportive.

There is basically this one manager who is completely crazy, an absolute manipulative, vindictive, strategic bully and my line manager takes guidance from her.

I think the media thing is a bad idea too (but it is nice to think about it though).

I shall buy the book, sounds sort of what I have read on here about acknowledging what bullies say and entering into their world.

My ability to focus at work has become so problematic that I feel a need to consult professional help. Unlike you, I don't feel I'm good at my job anymore. I just can't seem to "care" and I'm trying really hard. In some ways, it makes me feel stupid, but I know it's a motivational / concentration issue. I'm also very timid about asking for help when I'm confused about a task. I can't help but wonder if it's going to be perceived as a stupid question and reflect badly on me. When I do build up the courage to ask, I try to keep it really short and sometimes don't get everything resolved that I meant to. I've gotten two really bad reviews from bosses in the last few years.

It won't matter soon. I'm taking a year-long hiatus to collect my thoughts and do some soul-searching while I pursue some creative outlets. Still, I am trying to figure out the best way to go about seeking help for this because I fear it will follow me eventually. It's not something I feel very comfortable talking about and I'm not very confident doctors will understand the problem.