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Having problems with boss at work

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kt24
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30 Sep 2011, 11:57 am

Having told my boss at work back in April after I was diagnosed with AS, I think she's forgotten all about it.
She's putting a lot of pressure on me at the moment, mostly made up things about how I'm not doing my job well enough. She's dumping things on me at the last minute and complains when I can't do them, and then she suddenly changes things. After last week which was really tough when I got really angry and walked out of a meeting, this week has been worse as I spent most of yesterday on the verge of tears, and then barely slept last night at all.
She doesn't seem to understand how difficult things are for me at the moment: I'm having health problems too that are making me have no energy and I'm in lots of pain- it makes my AS so much more difficult to control, but she doesn't seem to understand this at all and keeps piling on the pressure until I'm at the point of snapping.

I'm wondering several things: Do I start again explaining about my AS (in letter as can't talk to her about it)? Do I just accept she has no idea and live with it until I find a new job? Do I take off sick leave for a week or so?

The other thing is, do I go back to my doctor and talk about this, seeing if she can help at all?


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Tetra
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30 Sep 2011, 12:43 pm

I think some people will never really understand other people’s difficulties no matter how many times they are told and however much training they get. I don’t think it is always because they don’t care. Do you think your boss is a good person or generally not very nice? I think it could be a good thing to remind her of your AS. She could at least make it easier or you by planning ahead and not dumping things on you at the last minute and changing things. If you are able to tell her practical ways to help you like this it would be good for both of you.
If you find that doing the job is lowering your confidence and causing you stress as it seems like it is, then you should look for a new job. You should try not to take sick leave too much as it looks bad for future employers.
You could go to the doctor but in my experience they just give me more medications, offer to sign me off work and tell me to change jobs.
I have some problems with my boss to and I am going to change placements as my confidence has got very low. Yesterday my boss told me some work I had done was rubbish but did not explain why. I went home and cried as I had felt proud of the work and thought I had done it to a good standard.
It can take a lot of courage to move on to somewhere else but sometimes it is in your best interest in the long run.



JeremyNJ1984
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30 Sep 2011, 1:03 pm

kt24 wrote:
Having told my boss at work back in April after I was diagnosed with AS, I think she's forgotten all about it.
She's putting a lot of pressure on me at the moment, mostly made up things about how I'm not doing my job well enough. She's dumping things on me at the last minute and complains when I can't do them, and then she suddenly changes things. After last week which was really tough when I got really angry and walked out of a meeting, this week has been worse as I spent most of yesterday on the verge of tears, and then barely slept last night at all.
She doesn't seem to understand how difficult things are for me at the moment: I'm having health problems too that are making me have no energy and I'm in lots of pain- it makes my AS so much more difficult to control, but she doesn't seem to understand this at all and keeps piling on the pressure until I'm at the point of snapping.

I'm wondering several things: Do I start again explaining about my AS (in letter as can't talk to her about it)? Do I just accept she has no idea and live with it until I find a new job? Do I take off sick leave for a week or so?

The other thing is, do I go back to my doctor and talk about this, seeing if she can help at all?



I dont think its appropiate to bring up AS when discussing your employer/employee relationship to your own boss. If you have already told your employer, than you should seek out HR. They would be obligated to research it for their own legal reasons, and prevent it from being a reason as to why your stressed out. A lot of things i would need to know..has their been any changes in your work environment? other people let go, need job objectives, etc? It never helps to try and explain to your boss a reason why your not doing what she/he has asked...it just gives an impression of excuses, whether you and I like it or not. The working world is cold and is very results driven...it doesn't handle emotion well. Which is one of the reasons people with AS have trouble gaining or maintaining employment. If you think its affecting your health you should begin job hunting now and see what the market is like out there for your field...you dont' want to quit and end up finding that you will have another stressful objective of finding a replacement job. Strategize your way on how to resolve this. I would seek out HR first and explain what is happening.