Dealing with (or not) Office Politics... HELP!

Post Reply New Topic

So this is where my AS really gets my knickers in a twist... There are the usual array of office nasties where I work and recently they have enjoyed using me as a verbal punch bag. This is mainly down to their lack of security in their jobs as they have all been warned that if they don't buck up their ideas then they can use the door. Unfortunately they are a stubborn lot and today they were being really mean. One of them said to me that she was sure they could find me a job cleaning the toilets... I just stand there like a lemon, my mouth opens and nothing comes out but a faint sigh... all the words rush around in my head but none of them can come out of my mouth. I am not sure how to feel, I go all numb mentally like there's a sudden stopper on my brain... then once I'm alone, it all comes back, everything I should say, all the things that I am thinking, but by then its all too late. I feel so frustrated with myself because I just don't understand. Why are they like that? What makes people act this way to other people? Was it me? Did I make them angry somehow and if I did could I have avoided it... You guys know what I mean, its that continuing analysis of the situation that just goes on and on bugging you, that aspergic 'stuck record' syndrome that we can't seem to switch off... Anyone got any good tips for changing the record because this ones making me crazy!

Em

I don't know if this would work, but
would having a short phrase, pre programmed
ahead of time work?

I know this might stound stupid but I
have just blurted out "I can't" and if
they ask why I say "Its a long story".

This could give you some time, I hhope.

I am no good at cleaning anything, I can
only repair what is broken so I might have
confused them, I might have said something
like "I am not type-matched to that kind of work."

Redacted.

You hit the nail right on the head!! ! Oh man, it does help to know that someone else actually understands it though. That damn VT player in your brain that replays the incident over and over to the point where you just want to scream! I tried the whole get drunk and sit in the dark thing and although it helped at the time, I just felt worse after and it upset people around me which I didn't want. Its just savage, they ARE morons, and I AM so much more intelligent that they are and yet they STILL get the better of me every time because my brain has some stupid error in producing the correct response...

So next comes tomorrow, and I have to go in pre-empting the situation that is likely to occur, which in turn makes me anxious which of course then heightens my AS and makes me more prone to saying (or not) completely stupid and inappropriate things, so I sit there, as quiet as possible, hoping to god that no one tries to have a conversation with me.

It's going to be a long day...

I simply avoid most people who aren't my immediate family. Don't work, consider my Aspergers and understanding family a gift from God. Somehow he knew I couldn't deal with the majority of people.

I've been targeted before by co workers with an agenda I didn't see and couldn't comprehend. It was a coworker who was my real friend (still is) who told me they were trying to "freeze me out". This wasn't a high level "office" job either. I'm much happier emptying trash and mopping floors. I'm poor but I'm not wracked with stress about my job either. I am simply not a person who thinks 5 steps ahead in manipulative social interaction and I don't get people who do.

not responding to bullies is actually okay. it makes you less fun to bully. tomorrow, i would just act professional around these losers, not giving them the satisfaction of knowing they got to you. if they start up again, a good response is, "i don't have to take this," then leave the room. you definitely don't want to bully them back, because besides stooping to their level, you could get in trouble.

From what has been a previous incident similar found that making a snide comment makes things worse. As some peopel try to tell me it is because they are insecure and belittling you is making them feel better. Why NT's do that i don't completely understand since Aspies need internal validation, not external. Perhaps just ignoring them would be best since any reaction to them encourages them. and if you avoid them they know they have bugged you.

All else fails call in a mediator and talk it out.