Criticism of not being "concise" - is this common

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Hi,

If there's one obstacle that I regularly seem to be confronted with, it's that apparently I'm not concise enough for most people. Although I have mitigated many of my Aspie symptoms and can pass for "normal", I have noticed a recurring trend for not being "too the point" enough in my written communications. It even got to the point in one workplace where I found out through a trusted colleague that I couple of other colleagues were joking around about how if they ever got an email containing a document written by me, they would just ignore it, because it's full of "extra crap". I was tasked with writing system specifications in a technical setting, which I found myself to be very astute at, and definitely very detail oriented. But regularly, I would get the document back from a colleague who reviewed it, and there was more crossing out than there was addition. The stuff they crossed out just seemed arbitrary to me, like it was based on subjective preference, but after I noticed this from others, I thought wow those NTs must have some kind of hard-wired concise mechanism among them, I am apparently "dyslexic" when it comes to determining what wording is essential for its purpose and what is not. I was good at making things grammatically sound and removing all ambiguity, but I guess people found I tried to overcompensate for making things as crystal-clear as possible.

I didn't get let go from that job, but pretty damn close, b/c I rubbed a couple of managers the wrong way - they even ridiculed me in front of peers for my lack of being concise. It was a running joke behind my back.

One thing I have noticed that the higher you go up on the corporate ladder, the more concise and timely you have to be, you find that the middle-upper management world is dominated by type-a personalities, you know, "give me what you have to say in 10 words or less, 5 minutes ago." The managers that I rubbed the wrong way were very much like that, they acted like they were already the CEO. Well, I guess if you act the part, you get the part, must have been their way of thinking.

I'm trying to understand how this is tied to Aspergers, I sense it's a combination of 3 things:
a) being too detailed without thinking at the big picture level i.e. what's the purpose of what you're doing
b) hyperlexia - being too wordy, using big words especially
c) not putting yourself in your audience's shoes (which is hard, I still find these things highly subjective and not measurable)

Is there any further assessment anyone can provide on this predicament...or recount their own experiences...while I can say that it's improved in me, it's tough to sustain it, and like I said I can't tell when I might not be concise enough at all times.

I have noticed that those who talk the most generally have the least to say.

I don't think this is a spectrum thing. People who ramble on forever before making their point are annoying to just about everybody. A bunch of us at work chipped in to get a co-worker this book because he made us all miserable, he could never get to his damn point. I also do technical how-to guides for work, I find it helpful to insert pictures and diagrams, people love that stuff.

in writing i an concise and clear. in speaking, i am too concise. people wish i would say more. i tend to be a "big picture" person.

One other possible explanation may be the "central coherence theory". Although Aspies are rigidly logical people, they have clinical difficulty differentiating between what would be considered relevant to a given receiver when communicating, versus what isn't. I am sure this contributes to lapses in being concise, but when it comes to what remedies are available to deal with it, I am somewhat lost. I'm grateful to the poster who provided the book/resource on getting to the point.

First off, it is majorly uncool for a so-called "manager" or "boss" to make fun of you in front of other people. It's actually a type of bullying behavior.

I can empathize:

lol I'm also known for being too concise (as if causality should be dismissed as irrational?) ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_per ... _inference

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Associatio ... chology%29

jayo you and I have this in common

I think one of the other posters just put my thoughts into words - that the problems seems to be that every detail is as important as the next - so it becomes difficult to prioritise ... or leave stuff out.

Whenever I try to write anything, academic or for work it can become too painful - as I get caught up in examining every idea withe the same amount of energy... it is exhausting, and although I can usually get it together, I am sure that other people dont have to put in 1/10 of the time I do...

It puts me off writing for fun - but I recently found out I'm dyslexic that affects organising my thoughts in words and planning so this might explain my long-windedness sometimes...

I think its maybe a spectrum thing and linked to hyperlexia and too much focus etc...

all the best

And, I think we're kind of being too hard on ourselves.

Many engineers, many doctors, many sales managers in business, etc, etc, can't write hardly at all. (I mean, they can write some sentences. But they can't write a succinct memo that comprehensive covers a topic with enough detail but not too much.)

I, also, am frequently criticized for being to verbose or explaining things in too great of detail. I work in retail, and am often criticized by co-workers and customers for "lecturing" people or giving too much information. I have sort of a script that plays out in my head and I tend to stick strongly to it because I get too flustered otherwise. Lots of my customers LOVE that I have this very educational and informational approach to my job, but enough people complain about it that it's a problem that my boss has addressed with me. I get so confused; do I continue to carry on this way because lots of customers like it, or do I curtail it because other customers hate it? Is it a problematic enough trait that I should stop, or is it enough of a strength that I should continue? SO frustrating!

I'm too concise.