Aspie managers, what mistakes have you made?

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So that i might not make them.

A couple hours ago i accepted an offer to become the manager of my department. I will have 5 people reporting to me within a global organization with more than 5000 employees. I work at a small office, with out-of-state corporate leadership.

FWIW i work in software quality assurance.

First, congratulations. If you're the top person in the office, then that gives you a lot of discretion and independence. I've run a small nonprofit for thirteen years and also am an independent manager; I only answer to a board of trustees.

This means that you'll set the tone, or corporate culture. I think you'll find your normal subordinates scrutinizing your body language. So, care must be exercised to avoid sending out bad or mixed messages inadvertently.

I spent time in the Navy in the early eighties, when at least back then fraternization between enlisted and commissioned officers was forbidden. If softened a bit, I think this is good policy for all managers. The conventional reason given is that familiarity breeds contempt. This especially applies to those of us with social deficits.

There is another reason why a bit of distance with the employees is good, and that is objectivity. If we begin to like or dislike our employees personally, it can affect our judgment of them.

Finally, employees know who the boss likes and doesn't. It's terribly bad for morale, especially to those who perform better than your pet employee. It's part of being fair but firm. Being a bit aloof also tends to play to AS.

I would also exercise a more hands-off management style--at least if you have good employees. This means inspecting the final product and ensuring policies are adhered to, but granting good employees a good deal of discretion in how they fulfill their responsibilities. Not only is it the case that since they are on the ground so to speak, that they might know details you don't, but it shows you have some respect for their judgment.

I have a big enough operation to have a supervisor who carries out my instructions; I deal primarily with her, which makes my situation much easier. A hands-off approach is the next best thing. As the Tao Te Ching points out, the good leader is the one who knows when not to act as well as act. It shows good discretion.

Good luck!

I haven't become a manager yet, but have been in the IT sector my whole life. From what I have read up on, I can offer a couple of pointers to you:

1) If you ever have one of your employees (direct reports) come to you and complain about one of your other employees, e.g. not pulling their weight, being argumentative, and you are aware of their behaviour already, don't get into details about what they did wrong - just say "I'm aware of the situation and looking into it." Keep your response as short as possible.

2) To the above, if you weren't aware of any issues before, get the employee to describe some examples, but DO NOT TAKE SIDES or vigorously badmouth your other employee. Just say "That sounds like cause for concern. Have you tried resolving it with this person directly?" or "I can see how that would cause you frustration. Let me speak with so-and-so about this." Or a combination of those two phrases. Let the other employee do most of the speaking, just say as little as possible.

Yes, being a manager, you will have to learn about the fine points of conflict resolution.

You don't want to be a nervous person who takes the job overly seriously. That will cost you some credibility with your staff, still not fatal. Instead, kind of an attitude, like a baseball manager taking the team into post-season play, been here before.

Get there slightly early and leave on time. It is a chance to be decent with employees. Not Mr. "Nice Guy." Just Mr. Sane, or Mr. Decent or Mr. Straightforward. But beyond that, don't take the job too seriously. Don't fake this. Really don't take the job past medium serious.

I think Dunnyveg gives excellent advice. That broad middle ground between delegating and dumping. I used to manage a photocopy center and I learned, it's not how well things get done. It's primarily how many different things we get done. And when quality is most important, early feedback and that ping-ponging back and forth. The only thing I would add is that I think it's okay to matter-of-factly spot check a process as it goes along.

It's a matrix organization. I will be answering to someone a thousand miles away, who answers to someone else 800 miles away from me in the other direction.

But there are other groups in the office that answer to other people out-of-state. And it turns out that just because we're on different branches of the org chart doesn't mean they can't pull rank. There are higher level managers just up the hallway, and although i don't answer to them, I answer to someone who answers to someone who answers to someone they do.

I will be setting the tone for 5 of 30ish people.



Generally good advice but there will be limits to how much i can or should do that. Under previous management, this business unit was a horrendous place to work, with borderline psychotic owners. I was never there, i came later, but i hear stories. The previous owner is currently facing a class action lawsuit from the congregation of the church he operates, and an IRS investigation relating to the money he made selling the company.

The level of distrust and acrimony instilled by the previous owner was epic. The new management has worked hard to correct the corporate culture, with the effect that it is now very informal and chummy.

There are limits to this fraternization, but the people reporting to me will be people I've worked side by side with for 3 years, except for the guy who just started, and the guy who will replace me.



Yeah. There's only one guy that's likely to be a problem with - the other guy who applied for the position - the guy who is rumored to have been telling people that he's leaving if he doesn't get the job (and he found out today that he didn't) - and frankly I hate him less than our previous boss does. Either he stays and I'm less of a thorn in his side than he's used to, or he leaves.

Aside from that, my mantra in business life is diplomacy. The three R's. Relationships, Respect, Rapport. Near as i can tell, that one guy is the one guy in the whole company who might not like me. I'm sure he's the only one i don't like. He's a very hard man to like - my guess is undiagnosed AS with some very maladaptive coping techniques.

I'm not saying everyone is going to be my best buddy. People treat you different when you are in charge. I actually ran this team for 3 months already over the summer, I was just not the official person they reported to. I was left out of HR issues, etc. I know that the conversations will be different whether i want them to be or not.



My plan is to make gradual changes from the style they are accustomed to, to a situation where they have more input on things that affect them.

For example, the old boss - promoted to sr. project manager - when it became unavoidable that we would need to work overtime to complete on time, would simply decree it.

My observation was that this caused unnecessary conflict. My theory is that if i instead get the group together and explain the situation, some may have information that may make the situation less dire, and some may volunteer strategies that ease the burden. Instead of someone immediately feeling like they have been put on the spot because they absolutely can't work late on wednesdays, or feeling like they're going to be perceived as having special treatment if they approach me in private for special arrangement, may just simply offer the hours they know they can work.

We maintain and extend a very mature application with an unfortunately convoluted and excessively feature-rich code base. Knowledge is so valuable that teamwork is utterly critical. Nobody understands the entire application completely.

Yeah, cards have to be held close. Thanks for the reminder.

I will end up spending my xmas vacation reading books about management.

Never insult a subordinate, Never lose your temper, Never make excuses, and Never, ever beg.

Document every order you give (i.e., email memos are not supposed to inform; they are supposed to cover your arse).

You can delegate authority to do the job, but you can not delegate the responsibility for getting the job done.

"Because I said so" is the last refuge of the desperate manager, but it is effective - use those words sparingly.

You can be friendly to your subordinates, but you will never again be their friend.

Avoid even the appearance of unethical behavior (i.e., When counseling a subordinate of the opposite sex, always have another member of that sex in the room with you - preferably, one from your Human Resources Department).

Yeah, on board with all of that.

Except the last part. HR is 800 miles away and doesn't even get on an airplane to terminate a manager anymore. The last suit they axed got a phone call. On the upside the only females on the team work remotely from other states or are elderly.

But it's not like I'm getting an office. We're out of private offices, except for one on the wrong side of the building, that is generally reserved for visiting executives. The best i figure i can do is wrangle some taller walls for my cube.

One mistake that I made, was trying to perfect my work. To some degree, I made it my special interest. Because of that, I did not have enough time and energy left to be with my family. That was one of the reasons why my marriage was ruined and we divorced.

Indeed. The perfect is the enemy of the good.