How on earth do you survive interviews?!

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I had one on Monday and it was horrifying. Being terrible with the whole social/talking thing I still really tried to answer the questions, but the interviewers seemed too formal and cold and very patronising. I'm sorry I'm not perfect and I can't think of wonderful answers on the spot! It was for a trainee position and they knew I was a graduate looking to LEARN... yet their questions were almost as if I was applying to be the prime minister!

I think for people like us sometimes we prefer to go for more laid back working environments with a diversity of people. But how on earth can someone who is just starting out and someone who has social difficulties get past the interview stage? Particularly in a climate where hundreds of people apply for one position. I feel like I'm going to be unemployed forever. I'd love to be my own boss and go freelance, but that's very hard to succeed in in terms of getting your name out there and finding enough work and getting a steady income.

Thoughts please.

I had that same experience last week. Luckily, I had two interviews; one interviewer was much nicer at one job than at the other job. It makes such a big difference when one interviewer interacts nicely and nonjudgmental. I was a lot less nervous when the interviewer was open, friendly, smiling, and essentially welcoming. It is very hard to concentrate on the questions when the interviewer looks like she is going to eat you. I don't even know if I mean figuratively or literally, because it seemed like both at the time.

I didn't expect that from the type of job I applied for; I would say expect the worse from the interviewer before you go in for your interview. I think I was a little too confident that I would be able to handle any scenario (since I'm "over-qualified"), when that truly was not the case. I also used past scenarios to prepare for their type of personality when in reality every interviewer has been completely different!

Interviews are hard, there are no two ways about it. Keep in mind they're a very "artificial" setting - a bit of a game, really. The interviewer is there to test you to see how good you are at certain things. That means they're not only interested in whether you know the "right" answer or not, but also:

1) How you go about solving problems. I don't know what kind of job you were applying for, but for technical roles they'll sometimes ask a "back of the envelope" question, like "how many piano tuners are there in Chicago?" or "how would you measure the volume of a Boeing 747". They don't expect you to know the volume. They don't expect you to have ever done the measurement before, either - that's the whole point. They want to see whether you try to figure out a way (and how far you get) or just stare at them like a deer in the headlights.

2) How you react to criticism . Sometimes they may intentionally tell you an answer is wrong or play the devil's advocate. They do that to see whether you take it professionally and politely, but firmly defend your answer or get defensive or alternatively just agree with them even though you know you're right.

3) How you deal with authority. This may be why the interviewer was cold and formal - though they may just be that sort of person naturally. If the job involves dealing with people at all then they want to know how you deal with difficult people or in stressful situations.

... and so on. The general point is that they purposefully create an artificial situation to test people, because if they simply asked "are you good at this and that?" then everyone would say "yes".

By the way, being the interviewer is no picnic, either. I've had a little bit of experience in that - enough to know that it's hard work! The interviewer is probably a bit anxious themselves, unless they're very experienced. Not as anxious as the candidate, of course, but they're still afraid of choosing the wrong person for the job and then having to work with them.

It's also entirely possible that you just got an inexperienced interviewer who asked questions irrelevant to the job. That happens. Just try to answer them as best you can and keep in mind that the other candidates probably won't have a better answer. This is where a calm, confident answer like "I don't know, but if I needed to find out I what I would do is ..." would beat something along the lines of "Erm... no idea". Easier said than done, I know, especially for us! You get better at this stuff with practice, believe it or not.

I survived them by practicing on more than I ever would have cared to go on lol. They are no fun, but after a while you learn that they all ask pretty much the exact same questions, so you can memorize responses.

Does the school you graduated from have a career services department? They may be able to set you up for mock interviews.

I am currently being assisted in my interview skills by an organization. The person helping me said that an interview is about whether you fit in with their culture. He suggested doing some recon on the place to see what they wear and what not. I guess when you get called for an interview they already think you are qualified, but they want to see if you will fit in.

I am still really unsure as to how to navigate the interview process. I am getting the feeling that it may be akin to a structured dance like the waltz.

I also think it’s very narrow-minded to judge whether someone is good enough for a job just by a 20 minute interview. First impressions can be so false. They could reject you over something really silly. Why not make someone do a weeks work with you and see them in action instead? People with social difficulties don’t have a hope in hell, even if they’d be really good at the job! Wrong.

I survive the interview by lying on my resume.

Get used to it my man, a woman instinctively knows within the first few minutes she talks to you whether she will likely have sex with you or not. Is it unfair? Perhaps, but for a woman, it is an automatic mate selection mechanism that has been programmed by millions of years of evolution.
In the same vein, interview questions are really selection mechanisms used to weed out candidates for a job. It's not to really find out how beautiful you are as a person inside. It might be crude and shallow on the surface, but it's a pretty sophisticated system that relies on probability.

interviews aren't going to change anytime soon, but really employers may as well randomly select candidates considering how often they make mistakes in judgement. it's a flawed game, and many aspies are simply born less capable at playing it. they can learn, but it is much harder than it is for NTs.

(about the other instinct.... although people do have instant attraction, it can also build over time. i slept with people i had known for years and was not initially interested in, and the same is true for many people.)

OP, my best strategy was to apply for jobs outside my region so that the employers were forced to do phone interviews with me. i am much better on the phone than in person.

i also took some workshops and did practice interviews.

AND i sometimes disclose my AS and explain to the employer that i do not interview well (lack of eye contact etc). that is a risky move though.

I'm NT and I'm great at interviews, that being said their a horrible flawed system and they are as arbitary as a old technique favored by employers in the past-analyzing hand writing! What does it really tell? Nothing.

However, the first thing your parents tell you about life is 'it ain't fair.'

Practice mock interview, contact career services, hell, do you know any theatre or drama majors from Uni? They might be unemployed and with free time on their hands, do so acting and role playing to improve being 'on stage.'

It's rough out there right now, so don't beat yourself up anyway.

I screwed up yesterday during an interview. I did not remember to smile or look at the interviewer. i probably did not get the job.

I had a "competency based interview" which did not test my competency in any way shape or form. All it tested was whether or not I could recant a plausible narrative of past achievements.

Having to do this without thinking time was particularly difficult (especially as the questions were written in management jargon) and stressful. It did not help that whoever wrote the questions for the interview had not read the job description.


I would much rather have an interview which had some form of practical/knowledge test part way through the interview. Even if this is done exam style. Giving people the chance to demonstrate that they can do the job would be, in my mind, an essential part of an interview.