Harvard Interview. Will AS make or break me?

Post Reply New Topic

I have an interview coming up for a research job at Harvard studying a special interest.

Everything seemed to be going well until I heard my program for interview day -- interviews with multiple people and going for lunch with the future boss and colleagues.

I don't want my social problems screwing this up for me. Any tips on surviving the lunch? I can probably handle the interviews if we just talk about the special interest, but trying to make small talk at lunch will be horrible. Help?

Does your perspective boss know you have AS?

Heck no!

He was chatty and seems very social. I don't want to ruin my chances, but have no problem telling him about my AS after I'm hired. I think I need to fake it somehow, maybe by memorizing things to say. I don't know.

I would suggest something very different from projecting topics and creating prose to memorize.

I am going to advise you as if you are one of my AS friends with the same opportunity and rigorous interview;

Go to the lunch prepared to listen.

This is where my AS friends stumble in conversation. Too often, when I've said anything to them, they respond as if I've either said nothing or they respond with statements that sound to me as if they completely misunderstood what I've said. Here's an example:

Recently an aspie friend was talking about one of his special interests; art. I told him that I studied art in college and was a designer the first 15 years after college. During his rambling discourse on artwork he found fascinating; he sidetracked into a long winded explanation of what impressionistic art is.

He is very intelligent but missed the fact that, since I studied art, I would be completely bored and perplexed at being lectured on what one of the major styles of painting is.

Did he not listen and understand that art is one of my fields?

Or was it because of lack of ToM? (ToM, as in, if she studied art, then she knows all the major art movements and this is common ground we share.)

Or was he simply indulging in speaking of his special interest without regard to me, the listener? (Stream of conscious?)

This is just one example from conversations with various aspie friends. Another otherwise intelligent professional aspie friend habitually responds; Yes; after having been asked a who, what, why, where, how; question. He just plain never listens; he's too busy listening to his own thoughts to hear those he's in "conversation" with.

Listen to what your future boss and colleagues say and respond to what they said, when they pause and look to you. That way you aren't boxed into trying to fit memorized chit chat into the conversation.

Practice listening and responding from now until the lunch. Do it with movies; if you are fairly isolated. I want you to get that position.

Last edited by MountainLaurel on 07 Nov 2011, 9:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's Harvard. Harvard didn't get to be Harvard by placing a high value on chattiness. Just be yourself. A little quirkiness will probably make you all the more intriguing to the audience at your lunch. IMO, you should leave the AS out of the discussion ... it's not relevant when it comes to big league research. Either you have the mind and expertise they want or you don't. Good luck!

Geez, I want you to get that position too!! !

To "listen" is definitely some good advice.

Also, you should practice some general conversation with a friend. Practice as if you were at the interview lunch, and if you can find two friends, that would be even better. Notice what is in the news the day before or the day of your interview, because that can provide topics for your conversation. Be prepared with a movie that you've seen recently that you can discuss.

And good luck!! ! You'll do fine. I really wouldn't worry too much about it.

I don't think you have to stress so much for a research job. Just have good table manners, don't eat anything messy or excessive, make good eye contact, smile, and just listen. Always ask questions to get the manager or whoever is hiring you to talk about him/herself so you know what you're getting into and so he/she will know that you are interested and would be a good fit. For a research position at Harvard, while it sounds very competitive, I don't think you're going to have to worry too much about painting an image like you do with many other jobs so I wouldn't stress too much on the social aspect.

I forgot about this thread. May as well update you all.

It's very rare for candidates to reach the stage of interview then not be hired in this field. Apparently the interview is just a formality and opportunity to meet future colleagues.

Well, not for me. I seemed to be doing well right up until we went for lunch and it was small talk time. After lunch I had to give a presentation and a couple of the people I went to lunch with came and sat down, and when I smiled at them they looked at me stony cold and didn't smile back. I knew right there I wouldn't get the job and had messed up in some unfathomable way. Probably something I said, or didn't say, I don't know. I did the presentation and rest of the afternoon then left feeling depressed and knowing I had messed up at the lunch somehow.

The boss e-mailed me the next day to say he decided he wanted to interview other candidates. That was pretty much the end of that.

In response to the title of the thread, I would probably say on this occasion AS helped me get the interview but didn't help me succeed at it. Ah well.