How to notice that someone dislikes me/my behaviour

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Hi

Please help me. I need to communicate with people that work in different departments of the firm where I work.
At previous job I had an experience of people complaining about me to my manager that I put pressure on them or that I'm rude or that I talk too much and etc, that I just don't have communication skills/soft skills.
The problem is that I didn't notice any signs of dislike in these people. They were polite, smiled to me, when we talked. I thought that we were in quite friendly relationships.
My manager told me then that I do not know how to notice people's moods and that I have no empathy and etc.

So what are the signs of dislike? Maybe there are some? When I see a smile and a person talks to me in a friendly way I assume that everything is ok. But apparently not, they are just being polite...

I do not want to screw up at this new job.

I don't know, but I've had the same problem. As far as I could tell from interacting with a person, there was no problem, but then I would learn that they found me "clueless", "rude", "lacking personality", "weird", etc. etc.
I'm starting to be convinced it's impossible for us to tell this sort of thing because the NTs are trying to hide it. After all, it's hard enough when they actually want convey something. Sorry to be negative, though.

This has been a hard one, and I've had similar feedback in the past. Rambling is a particular problem. So I've learned to be concise. I still ramble sometimes, but I've made it infrequent enough at work that people tend to overlook it. I've also learned to watch and mimic people with good social skills. This has helped a lot with behavior that others consider rude. I still say the same basic things, I've just learned how to put things a little differently so that NT's find it socially acceptable. This means I'm somewhat less direct, but I still manage to get to the point.

When I'm under stress, however, I can't remember any of these things. Although it sounds strange, it has worked well to work in an unusually high stress environment because everybody's social skills fall apart at some point or another. The work is somewhat predictably high stress, and I know what to do, so often I function better in the most intense situations than the other folks do. Even if I'm being rude, they might be being more rude. So, it all seems to even out, but I am still considered very quiet and rather eccentric, but appreciated for being reliable, non-dramatic, and good in a crisis. I don't think I could manage an office job well, it has never worked well in the past.

I think there are resources for social skills training that might be helpful, I've been meaning to look into some of those myself.

When people are done listening to you--or they are "bored" with what you're saying, they will often look away a lot with their eyes, look down or to the side, and their eyelids will lower a bit and they may blink a lot and blink slower than usual. (at least this is what I've read).

When people are closed off to talking to you they will often angle their torso away from you--so their shoulders are facing somewhere other than you. They might cross their arms.

NTs also do these things for all kinds of other reasons.

If someone said you were rude to them, consider how you were talking to them. Did you smile at them and ask them questions? Did you abruptly walk away while they were talking, or avoid looking them in the eye while they were talking?

Listening is usually considered polite. Often, when people are listening their faces will show that their eyes are focused on the other person's eyes (not above the eyes, but below is OK). They will raise their eyebrows occasionally--especially if the other person does it. They will blink and look away every once and a while. They will smile and nod and use open body language, like relaxed arms and upright posture.

Most of this stuff I took from this online library about nonverbal studies. http://center-for-nonverbal-studies.org/6101.html

NT’s love eye contact, Aspie’s not so much work on looking from upper neck/ chin to just under the eye, I usually watch the mouth area, if they ask I can claim to be reading lips, with occasional glances up to the eyes but alternate between one eye or the other and when that becomes uncomfortable for you switch back to the mouth area. Try and keep the conversations with them to the one topic you needed to talk to them about and use manners like excuse me, please and thank you. If you can find an NT “friend” at work that you trust and have them listen to you and offer ideas of what you are doing “wrong” by social standards, it may help but you will need to confide in them what being Aspie is and how it affects you in certain situations.
Did you divulge to your boss your situation? Maybe they can help by having someone shadow you for a bit to offer social pointers, that one’s a long shot and could backfire.
Smiles can be misleading as can the “talking in a friendly way”, as for signs of dislike I think most of us wish for big flashing neon signs that tell us what is going on but they are there we just can’t see them, I’ve always found that keeping it short and concise leads to an easy time and then I just don’t speak and let whoever else guide the conversation.
Maybe this helps maybe not but probably a little from all the previous conversations thrown together will work better.