supervising NT (it seems) staff

Post Reply New Topic

this week i began my new job as a clinical supervisor in a shelter in the heart of the city.

i am learning that my new staff (those that i supervise) are communicating with me for a purpose other than functionality of information, but rather functionality of the relationship we will have together.

this thread has been helpful: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt87241.html

an example of this is an older gentleman i supervise who has been avoiding me the last two days (monday and tuesday). today (wednesday) we had to begin to figure out how to replace a staff member on our team who left suddenly and is not returning.

the gentleman was helpful in stating (quite vulnerably) that he was concerned i would pick favorites among staff that i supervise and that if i did not turn out to do that, he would be 'cool' with me and support me. i thought about this confession of his for about half a day until he came into my office (the first time he has done this) to share a few notes regarding the cases left open by the departed worker.

as he was sharing the specifics of the information, i went to grab my trusty pen and notepad until something seemed strange: the knowledge of the specifics he was sharing with me would not help me perform my supervisory duties, nor help him in carrying out the certain duties of which he was speaking.

and i just allowed myself to slip into an NT moment. i paused and stayed quite without my pen and notepad and cognitively processed what was happening. this message wasnt one of information. he seemed to be saying: 'i am on board with you now. you can rely on me. we are going to work as a team together and help one another.'

i hope that i will be able to use my NT skills quite a bit in my new job. later on that day, i noticed also that my administrative assistant checked in with me regarding some mail i had needed to be sent out and the location she put the mail in, etc. she shared details that i did not need to know to fulfill my role, nor did she need to share it with me to do the same. she seemed to be saying 'i acknowledge you and what is important to you.' or 'i am a loyal servant.'

it was kind of cool to be able to read some of these social messages.

reading watership down is also helping.

That is wonderful that you are noticing this kind of stuff!

Yes, NTs do things with conversation that we don't.

But it doesn't mean we can't notice at least some of it and act on it!

Good on you for doing that!

Congratulations on the new job!

While some ill informed Aspies may disagree, I'd say that spending time to keep informed so that you can "small talk" is now part of your job. You need to talk to them on a regular basis--"small talk" is the non-threatening way to find out whether there is something that you should know about--or to remind your staff about something. Otherwise it can be like being called into the Principal's office--too many nasty overtones...

thank you for your well-wish. i will certainly be checking back in with you guys for assistance as i continue on there. yes, managertina, i do seem to notice it quite a bit as a i am a student of human behavior. that said, the noticing part is almost too easy for me; it is the intervention or the 'how to respond' part that is challenging for me.

heres another quick example.

i am middle supervisory in that there are only people 'below' me or 'above' me so i have no 'peer group' so basically i have to do what my bosses tell me to do and my staff have to do what i tell them to do, which will be similar to what my boss tells me to do. no doubt, my intellectualization of situations and my disregard for socially appropriate action will be a strength as i will be able to pragmatically act to improve our programs and services, but to do that, my staff has to 'feel' favorably toward me (which is why i will be checking back in with you guys).

my administrative assistance talked with me more than a couple of times about 'supplies' that i will be needing to do my job and over the course of the day i came to notice that we erent really having a conversation about a black marker, we seemed to be talking about how she has some power over me as she orders the supplies and i (although in a position of power over her) could only have the supplies she could offer. what i think was happening was she was letting me know how important she was or integral, rather, but i did not know how to stop responding to her black marker questions without giving her black marker responses.

at one point, she stated that she has her social work degree and would rather be doing therapy or case management than being a secretary. i responded that i would give her a small caseload and see if i could help her advance and my response seemed to go right through her. after reflecting on it this weekend, i realized that she was letting me know that she is not 'just an office assistant' and THAT message was the focus, not what her words were saying (which were that she desired a clinical experience).

geez. how can people go around in this confusing world purposefully making it more confusing? but as the link suggests that i have been referencing, we seem to be saying that an NT would find her message almost instinctually understood. and it took me days to figure it out. heh.

so, yes, must brush up on my small-talk, that was solid advice, btdt.