izzeme wrote:
i usually follow the conversation, but i taste all my words to not become too defencive about it, that will be a dead giveaway.
usually, if people realise i am an aspie, they have previous knowledge about the condition so they wont have the typical stereotypes and misconceptions.
actually, most of the time i am relieved if some people in my social/peer groups work it out on their own, that means i can be more myself with at least one person to back me up if needed
thank you very much for your answer. And I think you have quite good points there.
But still I am afraid that it spreads around to people that don't know anything about it,
with the stamp following soon after. I think that not everybody understands how sensitive these kind of things are and those kind of things spread quite easily out
with unknown consequences.
And, unfortunately my working mates are not really so good friends with me that I would feel comfort to tell them or that I would like that they knew.
They are quite new to me and almost all of them about 10 years younger
I can tell them some of the symptoms, if I want, but not that I am an aspie.
And I think that it doesn't help particular much if they know that I am of that "category".
Like we have really difficult to understand NTs I think it is even more difficult for them to understand us
(because we are experts in developing understand, whilst they are experts about NT culture and needs).
Actually it is even worse, because we are all different, whilst NTs are somehow similar to each other.
They simply cannot understand the problems that we face,
because they explain everything from their own perspective and will always do (most of them).
For example I realized that they are confident with things that I would think would never be enough for me or even "lies"
and then they map this onto me and think it helps me and I actually can feel even worse after that...
In my age (35) it is quite hard to realize to be an aspie, because compared to all other aspies I am missing all the (self-)development that you get when you are (self-) diagnosed earlier. I think the earlier the better, because it simply opens up possibilities.
Or then it could be also an alternative to not at all realize it and just continue as before with own coping strategies...
---------------------------------
But, why I was actually asking was more like how I should react such that nobody realizes that I am freezing like a stone.
I didn't defend anything of course because that would be perceived as totally awkward and suspicious.
But I didn't say anything and probably also looked quite different from normal
Unfortuately I am in quite bad shape at the moment, so it is very difficult to hide things due to thinking and mental overload.
And I am not satisfied either with my job. Too easy, too far away from what I have learnt originally. Too much stupid stereotype again and again things
I think I am under-challenged and do too many things at a time, just to fulfil those stereotypes how everything is supposed to be.
But maybe revealing more about me isn't that bad idea, because then they stop wondering.
And better I tell them some (maybe also crazy) stories than that they invent something or make up their own conclusions, then I have some control over it.
These guys are too smart to not to think about me, unfortunately and also good otherwise because they reflect things around which not so many people are doing
Clearly being around with people that are highly educated is a good thing for me,
although also many of them are somewhat boring...
-----------------------------------
I work at a university so competition is very high that means if you get a stamp then you drop probably quite easily out.
I never had a contract that was not a fixed term contract. And there is no such fixed positions anymore (If you would like to it is very easy to cut down in personal
at the end of the year). I think something like 80% of the workers have fixed term contracts.
They are trying to apply a big business model to our university and try at the same time to take advantage of the fixed term contracts (which do not normally exist at a big company)
And they built up a command structure, where the management of the university can decide about that what they want.
It doesn't look too good for our university at the moment, because there are lots of conflict of interests (bosses arrange everything such that it is especially to their advantage).
Then they have made the university to pay VAT, upon which the budget has become bigger but the available money smaller
They have hired a lot of HR and management stuff which is obeying orders and even try to hide how the decisions are made
Pure stress for everybody working here.
Even NTs are quite stressed.
People with big experience are leaving for retirement and are not replaced
Salary is low and increase of the salary is much lower than the increase of costs of food and housing
I don't understand how all these people are really willing to accept this.
I will have to leave before everything gets even worse (for example when the old professors retire and are replaced by new ones and they just "fire" lots of people, which is quite easily possible)
I think management would be quite happy to get rid of all the "lazy guys" working here.
27 Aug 2012, 9:25 am
