My work history

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I'm 40 years old, get top scores on all aspie tests, am still a virgin (but had kindof a relationship), and currently working part time as a programmer after being unemployed for a few years. Before that believe it or not I was a college instructor. The aspergers "little professor" thing was in full swing there. Prior to that I also worked in programming - but I don't really do good work and my code is horrible, disorganized, looks like it was written by 10 different people. Usually though I eek out a product. Most places are pretty mismanaged and it takes a year or so to find me out. On the interview I can walk the walk and sound like a genius. I can put out fires (code patches, testing) but when it comes to writing serious code my ADHD kicks in and it takes me hours to write a line. I tried to create a product on my own and my disorganized/ADHD thinking destroyed and product I tried to create. Poor short term memory, concentration issues, etc.
On my project I focused on so many different things and had 4 IDEs with different languages open at the same time.
Yes, I understand the concepts TOP to BOTTOM and could explain it to your grandmother! I can discuss the details of how to enhance a site like facebook, algorithms, front end, etc. I can even write some quick proof of concept code! But applying anything is another story! Most places give simple code tests that I can ACE!

Its weird how I taught college level math (in a highly rated community college) but barely got a 520 on the math SAT! My math ability is totally dead after differential equations!
Grades:
Calc 1-3, diffeq =A,A-
Stat =C
Prob = D-
Complex Numb = C
Partial Diff eq = C+
Get the idea?

All the EE classes that required verbal problem solving we all D to B-. (mostly Cs). I love electronics and can repair anything (cars/computers) but got Cs and Ds when it came to design and solving problems! In grade school I would spend 3-4X the effort studying to get Bs. I was tutored constantly.

I have a BSEE(all my colleagues had MA and PHDs!) with a minor in CS and Technical Writing. I had a sh***y, inconsistent GPA - the schools that I worked in never cared! You see, I'm great at algebra, trig, etc because it is all very predictable patters. Now, I couldn't solve a problem for my life! And if problems change I am lost! I used to prepare handouts for my students (I could have been teaching French) and teach them my tricks for solving problems. Somehow I was well liked - girls thought I was very cute and gave me great ratings! My first relationship was with a former student after I left teaching. Looking back I wish I married her, but she was much younger than me (people thought we were close in age).

I originally got hired as a programming instructor in a community college and I was called to sub for a math teacher. They thought I did a good job so they switched me to a full math instructor(note - never full time, but 16 credits). No one ever checked my background!

Now, back to my current programming job. My ADHD is killing me and superviors are starting to see work not getting done. Soon I will probably be fired and my confidence will inch lower. I have major depression and I feel Aspergers ruined my life.

Have you ever considered getting medicine to help manage the ADHD?

I hate doctors and drugs, pretty phobic about that.
I only use copious amounts of coffee and occasional energy drinks. It helps but the effect wears off.

It sounds like your having a repeating cycle, but not willing to take any action to fix it.

I'm not sure anyone can help.