Bosses are evil, I'm convinced

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Ah yes, I seem to find myself in another wonderful work situation lol

Ok, so today started off ok, and I've been doing so much better at my job now that I'm more comfortable around the other employees. My people skills have increased a bit, and I have to admit, I thought I was doing well, due to many customers complimenting me on my attitude and my helpfulness and stuff. I even have many regulars who come to only me on register.

That's obviously not the problem lol That acutally sounds like quite the contrary, which is why I was shocked when my boss came to me. It started with how I was watched all day by the supervisor and the second one of the new cashiers asked me how to do something, even the most minor things, they screamed at me. I know the registers inside and out because I'm on them 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Yet they told me I am forbidden to help out the new cashiers at all because they "don't want them to become like me." I don't know what thats supposed to mean, but today was the day of constant verbal abuse.

This morning, my boss had over 4 times when it was just her and me up at the front end. She waited until 3 other cashiers and 2 front end supervisors came up to talk to me. She asked me in a very loud voice if the supervisor had mentioned my "deficient performance" and I said no. With EVERYONE looking and obviously listening, she went on to say that I was a very deficient person and that my "skills are way below average." She went on to say that my performance has been BS (but she said the whole words, I'm just censoring it lol) and so is everything I do there. And most of the cashiers have been requesting not to be put on the register next to me. Now, no one there knows I have AS, but they constantly make fun of me, trying to guess what disability I have because I'm very giggly and seemingly happy all the time (I don't know why they even find that wrong in the first place, but I only act that way because that's how I show extreme nervousness). They do it at least once a day.

Anyway, they've been abusive for a while, but my manager's attitude today, calling me a deficient person and that my work is BS really upset me today.

So, any advice? lol I think I might try looking for a different job, or maybe try to get transferred, because I love the store and would love the job if they treated me like a human being. That's the sad part. I don't know if there's anything I could do to make them treat me better. Any advice is appreciated, I'm out of ideas lol

Your boss needs to give more specific reasons why she considers you "very deficient."

You didn't mention anything she said that I would consider very specific. There might be laws against her firing you without cause.

That would seem like an asset.

Sounds to me like they want you to quit.
Are they aware of your AS?

If I were you I'd document everything they've been doing, and report them to EEOC. You can file a discrimination complaint or a "creating a hostile enviroment" complaint.

lol that's what I thought. I thought seeming happy and giggly all the time will encourage customers and make them like shopping there, even if the giggling is from nerves (they don't know that though lol). That's why I was so confused when they talked to me. I tried to get her to elaborate a little, but she just kept using very mean but very vague words...they seem to just want to make me mad or upset or something.

In a situation like yours, I'd look for a different job. In the past, if I have been unhappy at my workplace or felt like I was not being treated fairly, I went elsewhere.

That's terrible and definitely workplace abuse. You don't seem to be doing anything wrong and there is absolutely no reason to say your work is BS in front of everyone!!

Oh- and Im happy and giggly all the time for mostly the same reason - someone also commented to me she thought it was weird - I had the same reaction - what is wrong with being happy? Absolutely nothing - thats so weird.

Kate

I'd really like to understand what makes people act like this.

1. You're probably doing so much better than they are that they see you as a threat and want to make it hard on you so that you will quit.
2. No doubt they are backstabbing you to your boss. Do not be fooled into thinking they will stick to the truth. They won't. They'll make things up if they have to.
3. It is human nature to equate friendliess with weakness. Your giggly nature (I have the same problem!! !) marks you as someone they can abuse. Some people become total jerks to counteract this.

I have a long resume (meaning too many jobs) because of this same thing The objective proof of your worth is overwhelmingly positive, yet the subjective aspect of "perception is reality" gets in the way. It sucks to live with such contradictions!! !

Just know that WE know you are awesome and deserve all the success in the world.

Awwww thanks everyone!! I'm feeling more confident about it now, until today when I went in to get my paycheck. I took the week off because my boyfriend is here for the holiday. They all knew that. I needed the check and also needed to know my hours because they HATE when you call for your hours over the phone. My manager was in the office. Great. She started giving me a hard time and saying how horrible I was for showing my face that day. In the cash office, she used the quote of the year. "Everyone already hates you, you know. Do you want another reason for them to despise you?" Just because I needed my check and hours. I was in shock again and was about to get hysterical. That was so horrible. And by the way, she gave me terrible hours all week...9 hr days all week.

Ah, that clinches it. Someone above her probably told her, "Why can't you be like Hikaru?" That person got resentful and is trying to make you hate your job and leave. This happens A LOT. Best way to resolve this, I have learned from experience, is to let her hang herself. Believe me, she will; she can't controll her emotions and hate and she WILL make it obvious. I once had a guy try to do this to me and he wrote me e-mail and copied in my boss that was completely innappropriate. My boss went to his boss and had quite a session, I hear!

They WILL do some damage, but that will heal. When they make such an ass out of themselves that it becomes obvious that they are the problem, you will be forgiven of much of the things she made up about you to make you look bad.

Here are some tricks to speed up the process:

1. Never, ever, ever yell at her back and demonstrate anything but a positive behavior. She has probably spread a lot of lies about you that you don't know about and any negative behavior on your part will be proof to others that she wasn't lying.

2. Smile a lot at her. She'll want to wipe that smile off your face. If you're really lucky, she will actually hit you. Then, you can sue the company and retire.

3. Don't argue about the hours. Do everything she says for a while. She will try to make it worse and worse for you until she gets a rise out of you to prove #1. Don't fall for it... just take it all in stride. Eventually, her abuse will become so apparent she will get fired (or promoted) by her boss. Whatever; she'll be away from you!

HANG IN THERE

It is reality that most humans are apes and pound their chest accordingly. You're going to win this! Keep us posted!! !

Interesting.

thankfully I have a great job.

the boss is a friend of the family, and that's how I got the job.


But anyhow. back to de subject.

I'd advise to quit right now.

That brings up a good point. Nepotism tends to attract the kind of people that are giving you problems, Hikaru, because they weren't hired based on qualifications and certifications, but on their family connections. They are more likely to lack the skills and need to play games to survive (note I say LIKELY, which means there are exceptions, just like with any generalization, and anyone reading this should [and surely will] consider themselves an exception).

Plus, if a person gets into a job through nepotism, they are usually allowed to behave any way they wish and will always survive no matter what. Your boss wasn't hired due to nepotism, right? I've learned, through bitter, bitter experience, never to work for a "family" company. The higher up the ladder, the worse it gets. I've twice worked for coward CEO's that were open, gushing wounds for their respective companies, completely unqualified for their jobs, but they married into The Family(TM).

Did your boss get her job through family ties? In that case, I definitely agree with Gamester -- quit and find a job that isn't family-based. We have enough problems without that extra complication! If she is family, you're out of luck.

Hmmmm now I'm wondering. She talks to the DM like she might be either related or VERY good friends with him. I know two of the other assistant managers have been best friends for 18 years, and one of them is one of the people that give me a hard time on a regular basis (for example, today she found it proper to make fun of my clothing and how stupid I looked in them in front of customers and other employees). I should find out about the big manager though...it would totally make sense!

In front of CUSTOMERS no less -- that is awful The good news is, though, staying calm and positive and continuing to do a good job is always a safe approach, so even if those managers are related or golf/bar buddies, you still will do the right thing no matter what. It really sounds to me like these people are just trying to make you angry. At the very least, it will be a lot of fun to deny them this and get THEM angry instead

I did a little research and found that New York State is an "At-Will" state, meaning the boss can fire you without reason, and you can leave without reason (I've been fired from a job and this held up. However, the unemployment lady said I was the first person ever to have been fired from a place that had to call them back with a reason because they had to make one up). However, there is a provision in New York law that they cannot fire you for a handicap and AS may be considered that (some judges are considering AS a disability, from what I hear, but that still isn't the norm). Do they know you have AS (or, have you been formally diagnosed and does it appear on your record somehow?) If so, they may feel that they cannot fire you without legal risk and may want to make your job miserable so that you will quit. A lot of people are going to say this is unlikely, I'm sure, but I've been in a few jobs where this has been blatant. In that case, you can have a LOT of fun doing a great job and making them upset.

I've often found in life that doing the right thing to aggrivate people can be a great game. In the job I just left, I did that a lot. The only reason I left is because I had a better option (more pay, better benefits!). I stuck that job out and enjoyed "poking the bear" as I and another employee who started doing the same thing too, having just as much fun. I always stayed "above the line" professionally and always did the right thing, which meant not lowering myself to the level of the others on the team I was on and, by doing that, drove them crazy. Of course, on one of my last days, one of the people on my team described in detail to me how my social skills were so bad. I'd describe approaches we should take in logical, unemotional terms (like a mathematical proof) and they took this as an attack. But, it was always THEIR behavior that was quantifiably innappropriate, and, short story long, I'd suggest that for you too -- be the professional one. It can't hurt you and, in the end, you're likely to win because it WILL drive them nuts!! !

Document everything.
Date, time and what was said. Exact quote if possible. Carry a small, pocket size notepad and update it on breaks.
Yes, you are being pressured into quitting. At some point, it may be worth walking away. But in the meantime, keep this log of activity in case your manager tries to fire/discipline you unfairly.

If this is part of a larger chain, or there's a level of management above your boss, upper management would be interested in this, as this manager is a loose cannon and a liability. As a manager myself, I'd fire someone for acting the way your manager has acted, provided I had some proof.