please help me with this

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ok since the age of 13, i always wanted a job. i have filled out numerous applications for different kinds of jobs. it was jobs for fast-food places(mcdonolds, subway, wendy's,etc). i was never successful in getting it but i didnt give up. the last time i went job hunting was online in october of 2011. i decided i was going to wait until i graduated from college to get a job. since i graduated high school, and my sister quitting her job, i been feeling more pressure to get a job. before, no one pressured me to get a job and i only wanted to work to have money in my pocket. now that im older, (19 by the way), everyone i talked to tells me i need to work and it makes me mad. my sister wants me to work and i even more mad. if i get a job, i dont want her dependent on me to pay the bills and rent. if i get a job, then im not going to have any money to spend on myself. sorry if i sound selfish but i dont want to do it. its not my fault my family is struggling. if my sister asks what job i want one more time, i am going to lose it. im already sick of her. im tired of giving the same answers. if being an adult means getting frowned upon and pressured, then i dont want it.

If you can't work then you can't. You could try for disability insurance.

If you want to try to work, avoid retail and restaurant jobs - they are rarely Autie friendly and put a lot of emphasis on customer service. I work at the university library shelving books. It's great - no one bothers me and I get to file stuff!
Don't set yourself up for failure by attempting something you will hate, you'll just end up quitting anyway.

i havent graduated college yet. i was really asking why is it so important for me to get a job since im out of high school.

Hey there,

One thing that is good about getting a job before you graduate is that it helps you know your skills. Even if you have to learn the hard way, and we all do. I was a carnie (carnival worker) my very first job, and learned that my eye for detail unfortunately is not very fast. So, I will never be a surgeon or race car driver... but that didn't mean giving up. On about my third job in university, or my fourth, I found out what I loved doing. Working while being in school is stressful, though a good schedule can be worked out. Take advantage of your college career centre, or your high school career centre, or your town's employment assistance centre, if you are able to work, as they can help you figure out suitable jobs for your personality. I know that I definitely got some help when it came to interview skills at my city's employment centre.

Good luck with whatever your choice is.

I think there may be a communication issue in this thread.

Soulburner, am I reading this right that you don't want to seek out a job at this time, or that you are asking why you are recieving social pressure to get a job?

I'm not sure if this is an ASD issue or a young person issue. Could you clarify why you don't want a job?

Let's say you don't want a job because you're 19 and you're still in kid mode, which is understandable. So if you just change your perspective it might help. Jobs can be a lot of fun. You can get into a lot of funny trouble, meet funny people, do things you never would have thought of, maybe meet some girls, pull some pranks. It's a good experience. When I was your age I worked at a textile factory and folded sweatshirts all day long. I had green hair and pierced up my face because no one cared what I looked like. I listened to Agatha Christie audiobooks all day long. It was a lot of fun and a very valuable experience, really. You'll never look back years from now and value sitting at home playing video games for 8 hours a day. You can do that for 4 hours a day instead and enjoy it just as much.

If you're having social issues and don't want to work for that reason, you might still want to consider working a little bit just to get used to it. Sooner or later you'll have to learn to deal with jerks and if you ease yourself into it, it'll make it much better. Jerks in the working world are different than jerks at school and it's good to build your social armor against that kind of thing.

I know it's hard to work AND go to school, but that's just what people do. Most people enjoy having the time away from their family. I know it sucks to have someone bothering you to do something all the time, but often people are just pestering you because they care.

i am growing frustrated with this. What i am trying to ask is why i am being pressured to get a job?

Because having a job of SOME kind means you're contributing to society and paying your own expenses.

NOT having a job makes you a burden on the taxpayers as you're handed free money while contributing nothing.



Sorry to sound harsh, but that's just the facts about it. No opinions, just simple boiled-down facts.
If you can type on here, you're qualified to do something, somewhere... you just need to find something compatible.
It's hard... I wish you luck in that regard. Don't give up!

well sorry for being a damn burden. i didnt realize being unemployed was a big deal. i wish people would get off my ass about it.

Stop and think about where your "free money" is coming from.

Are you living at home? Your parents are paying for your existence. Is it fair of you to force them to continue paying for you once you're more than able to at least help carry your own weight?

Are you on your own and getting government support money? Hardworking people are sacrificing their money so you can stay home. Is that fair?



Don't get me wrong, I have my occasional stretch of unemployment too, but I get my butt back to work as soon as I can, and/or increase my volunteering while unemployed so I'm contributing to society somehow.


Staying at home playing video games doesn't help anyone, not even yourself. Probably not what you wanted to hear.

my parents are not around so i been living with my sister. she is unemployed. you are right about carrying your own weight. i do not play video games 8 hours a day if you must know. since we have no vehicle and family and friends live far away, we have no way to get to work. buses dont run in our town as having a car is the primary way to get around.

I'm trying to understand this so correct me if I'm wrong but I'm guessing you live alone with your sister. Was your sister contributing to your household or paying for some or all of your expenses when she was working? Dose she have any kind of medical or mental things that make working difficult for her? How are bills getting paid if neither one of you is currently employed? If your sister had been paying for the household expenses while she was working & now that she quit you & her have no money coming in she could be worrying about bills being paid(buying groceries, paying rent, utilities) & feel resentment that she's been working to support you.

It also sounds like you're in some kind of farmhouse far from town or something where there are NO workplaces withing walking or cycling distance?

We're all just trying to be helpful, and people tend to speak pretty plainly here because that's a more ASD-friendly way to communicate.

I'm not trying to be condescending, but I'm going to err on the side of being too simplistic to give a more thorough answer.

When you turn 18, you're an adult and you're expected to support yourself. If you're in college, often your family will continue to support you partially or completely to help you finish college. If your family is still supporting you past the age of 18 and you're not in college and don't have a job, it's because they consider you not capable of taking care of yourself. OR, sometimes people stay at home past 18 because they're taking care of someone else at home.

Sometimes with people on the spectrum, it's best to ease into working or going to school, because being around NTs is stressful. It's harder for people on the spectrum to work and go to school than it is for NTs, who are just surrounded by each other.

You can't use other people as an example and say "so-and-so doesn't work so I don't have to either." The expectation is that all adults over 18 work or go to college unless there are other extreme circumstances preventing this.

So your sister's point is that you are an adult and capable of taking care of yourself. It's time for you, as a young aspie adult, to start easing into the workplace.