How much longer should I keep this up?

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I grew up in a decent middle class family. All my needs were met. We had nice vacations in miami and I was provided with every thing i ever needed as a child. This Adult part has been a very unpleasant struggle. I live in NJ and I can't afford to heat my place up. I skip meals all the time because frankly i can't afford them on my tiny wage. People at my job get promoted and have good relationships with their peers while get paid crap and always feel like i'm struggling to survive. I'm having no fun at all. I wake up in the middle of the night from the cold, i've got an old car and guess what.. the heat doesn't work either. I have outgoing tickets i cant afford to pay, my work involves brutal blue collar work involving janitorial and construction cleanup. I feel pretty sick of it all. sometimes i close my eyes and think back to my vacations as a kid with my mom when she was still around and those memories keep me going, but for how long? I've dated a few girls, it turned out they all liked the idea that i used to have money and when i had to start providing for myself the girls stopped bothering with me and so did most of my friends... or maybe they just got sick of my negativity.

There's no real point to this post... im just sharing my pain. anyone else have a similar story?e any way to improve things?

Hi, been through many bad times and currently looking for a better position where I don't have to work on Saturdays and public holidays. The work itself isn't bad but the salary is rather low and the hours too long. I don't have a car (used to once) and can only drive an automatic one anyway. My situation has improved though and I believe it will continue to do so. A few years ago I stayed in a shelter for two years and there was no real motivation to find work there. I have made a number of poor decisions in my life - mainly due to my Aspergers I guess - and my life has much improved since I was diagnosed in 2006 - before that, I didn't have any name for it.

Maybe you can get a better job in the New Year where you can do something more suited to your talents / interests / abilities. But every work is important and let no-one look down on you because of your current job. I know its hard, but try to keep a positive attitude and to get one or two of the superiors on your side, if possible.

I'm in my 40s and feel that my jobs have never matched my abilities and interests much, due to indecision in my earlier years. But there is always hope for a better future.

I don't have enough time right now to expand on this theme, but pls feel free to PM me and I can give you more nbackground and possible practical suggestions.

It's not easy at this time of year as I know its winter where you are right now, but try to do just one positive thing to feel better about yourself every day. Maybe you can develop your particular interest/s to making a little money on the side?

Best wishes. Ross.

Hey Jacob,

My circumstances are very different but I can relate very much to what you're going through.

I only recently self-diagnosed as Asperger's. Not sure I want an official diagnosis.

I also had what I recognize now was a fairly lucky time of it until now. I'm not sure if my parents knew of my ASD, but I can look back now and see how it has effected my whole life and how lucky I had been to get by as well as I did.

However, in the last ten years, everything has changed. My Father died and my sister decided to keep my part of his estate for herself. It took me a couple of years to even come to grips with the idea she would do this, I guess I just couldn't comprehend it or was in denial about the whole thing, but I was also the only one of three children who was caring for our elderly Mother who suffered from dementia, so I really didn't have the mind-space to think about anything else beside that. I lost all my few friends because of my responsibilities and difficulties with Mom, and I can't seem to get myself back into the employment thing after all these years.

My Mom did pass away a few months ago, and now I find myself alone, still being given the brush off by my siblings, and finding it impossible to get any work. I'm broke, and just can not see how any kind of future is possible for me.

I really do wonder if this is just a bad spell that will end any minute now, or if I need to seriously consider cutting my losses before it gets any worse. Between the effects of caring for my Mom, and the grieving and whole new situation, and of course I can't ever get my mind off of the frustration of knowing there is money for me from my Dad but I don't have it, It's all just a little too much to deal with, and I just can't think my way out of it.

Sorry, I know this isn't much help for you, but I appreciate the chance to spill it out.

I grew up very poor. When I was a teenager I used to stay with my Gran sometimes. She had cable TV, could turn up the heat or AC as much as she wanted and always had food in the fridge. She could even afford to feed her dogs actual dog food instead of scraps. I told myself that I would do whatever it took to live like that myself.

I worked in a factory when I was 18 because I had no education and then I put myself through college. I had social anxiety for many years because I wasn't allowed to go to school when I was a kid. But I got used to the other people eventually. Now other people don't bother me at all and I even teach large classes sometimes.

You should move to a place with a low cost of living and go to school. West Virginia, Ohio, Virginia, and North Carolina have surprisingly low costs of living and more jobs than you might think. You'd be able to get in-state tuition after six months in some states. If you're willing to go someplace really strange like Alaska they'll even pay for your relocation costs.

The way you're living is miserable. I've lived like that before and it built a rage up inside that forced me to do better.