Excellent Readers Digest tips on what HR won't tell you

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I was reading a new book that came out recently, called "13 Things They Won't Tell You". It is a compilation of things that people in various professions expect of their clientele or employees but are more unspoken rules. It covers auto mechanics, hairdressers, hospitality staff, and most importantly for the context of the work category I'm posting in, what HR managers won't tell you (but expect you to be aware of). I'd HIGHLY recommend this book as a helpful guide.

A lot of these things are the "common sense theory of mind" pitfalls that we so often run afoul of.

The HR manager who was interviewed by the author spoke in the 1st person as you can see. A paraphrased sampling of some of the tips:

1) If I ask you "tell me about yourself" in an interview, do not ask me for specifics. I don't need to hear your life story either.

2) Some jobs have a rated requirements or scorecard to rate candidate answers to questions, particularly factual ones to test ability to perform a task. Well I can tell you that many times this doesn't matter; I personally saw a hiring manager doctor the responses just so that she could hire the candidate that she liked. (Well, this should come as no surprise - I'm sure it goes on more often than we'd like to think, and I can think of at least one instance where it happened to me.)

3) If you boss calls you in his/her office to say that you're being let go and he/she says "I'm sorry, but they made me lay you off, I really wanted to keep you" i.e. deflecting the blame to other management, you can be almost certain that he/she was the one who made the decision and their statement is totally false. (a lot of the time we Aspies won't sense this, as we don't perceive the more subtle emotional cues that somebody doesn't like us or isn't pleased with us)

4) If you call in a couple of weeks after your interview asking for an update, and we say "we have no update yet", it's almost invariably because we've chosen our preferred candidate(s) but that person just hasn't accepted the job offer yet, so we don't want to reject you prematurely. (I actually always suspected this was the case, and I spoke with a job counselor who confirmed its veracity.)

5) If the hiring manager goes on about his hobby or interest, let him talk about it all he wants, even ask him a couple of questions. At the end he'll think that you were the best candidate, as long as you didn't give horrible responses to the job-related stuff. (Kind of a double-standard considering that we Aspies are blamed for going on about special interests...but hey if we're not holding the key to a job...we're the "bad guys" I guess.)

Of course there's the other "common sense" stuff about not trashing a company or your boss on Facebook, and not using social media and email etc to look for work on company time (or for leisure, for that matter) - mistakes that many NTs make!! Makes you wonder why companies have such a positive bias towards extroverts, when they're the ones who're more likely to be surfing Facebook to get updates on their 500+ friends (slight exaggeration).

So what are they asking for with this question? It's an extremely broad question, and as such it gives me a lot of trouble.

On the front-end, HR, since they arn't operational personel, don't understand the position, and they required to filter a massive amount of resumes, as well as filtering through phone and in-person intereviews. Problem is, and I've dealt with enough people who know this, that the "filter" has too many false negatives (good people not getting through), and too many false positives (unqualifed who get passed on to the hiring managers).

But, what do you expect? Many companies do not trust key roles to HR, those are informally filed and HR justifies the decision. So, the poor hiring process works to cover the ones that HR does'nt make.

On the "back-end", HR's job is to protect the company (and themselves, more often than not). Manager wants to fire someone, HR provides the paperwork. They don't make decisions themselves, that is'nt HR's job.

When I hear people need to Network and build contacts to find good jobs, I figure the most important thing you are trying to achieve is getting around the HR department to a supervisor or manager who has a clue.

Along with that if you can find such an Insider contact be ready with a portfolio to sell your skills.

Good advice.

As for networking, knowing someone in HR is good, but not always the best.

Where I work, HR filters the resumes for basic qualifications, then sends us the resumes that pass. We review them based on the actual requirements of the job, and schedule interviews.

As for interviews, don't say dumb s**t. I had one guy tell me "You remove spyware by using the Add/Remove programs feature"

I sorta lost it on that reply. He didn't get the job.

HR exists to protect the company and management. To go to HR with a complaint about a manager, no matter how legitimate, is almost certain suicide.

True in most cases unfortunately.

I avoid the HR like the plague - in all the companies I've worked it was the most incompetent, problem-creating department.

Interesting enough, I recently discovered that upper management has a similar dislike for them, you just don't usually get to hear about the blunders they make at that level.

Here's a VERY scary thing I read in Reader's Digest about this. It was something like:

"Once you've been unemployed more than six months, you're considered pretty much unemployable. We assume that everyone else has passed you over, so we don't want anything to do with you."

And this was when UNEMPLOYMENT WAS AT LEAST A PERCENTAGE POINT HIGHER than it is now!! !! !

What this tells me is that I probably have LESS than six months to get a job before I'm discriminated against for the rest of my life!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

You know what's really going on with most long-term unemployed? THEY'VE BEEN DISCRIMINATED AGAINST by companies like this one!! !! ! This kind of discrimination should be illegal. Of course, it won't become illegal, because most of our politicians are just trying to collect enough "donations" from these corporations to basically buy their re-elections...

*gulp* Better get my rear in gear!! I'm at 4.5 mos already.... I was enjoying the time off and not even looking at all.

Why i am being dismissed with even being considered now? 20 months now and nothing to look forward to.

The only benefit I see in knowing those insider tips, Jayo, is that an applicant can, with substantially less risk of having a bridge to burn, feel s/he can tell off a hiring manager or recruiter or who says those quoted lines. It's not like the manager will like the candidate any better the second or third time around. They don't respect tenacity -- so may as well tell them off if you first politely ask for how you could have improved and they stonewall! Others may let me know what benefit they find in such knowledge of the liar whose lies do not change the outcome.

I actually obtained gentle feedback on a few positions, but one explanation on behalf of a state workforce development agency was really weird -- something about the government regulations required their agency to interview despite none of the applicants being qualified -- but given the Asperger-like rigidity of government, I can see how that might really be true. But then again, she could not name the regulation when I asked her, and she blamed it on a higher-up. But a month later, and the vacancy remains vacant, so maybe they really didn't hire anyone, irrespective of the administrative reason or lack thereof.

I hear that if you've been unemployed long you get creative on your resume. You say you've been doing consulting work.

My fallback will be that I've been creating a series of children's books... The stories are complete.... just time to break out my pens for preliminary art and formatting.

no wonder i'm a hermit.

I wonder if school or volunteer work makes a difference?

Definitely, yes. Have some papers from skool and/or a reference from where you volunteered and it should be almost as good as work experience... maybe better! (Depending on many factors.)