Interviewer Missed Our Appointment

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A recruiter set up a job interview with me for this morning, but when I showed up, the actual interviewer didn't even know she had the appointment. (She rescheduled for tomorrow.) I didn't know how to feel at that point. I just called the recruiter and told her what happened. She was apologetic, and vowed to find out what went wrong. I'm pretty much overqualified for this job, and the pay isn't great, but I need to find something soon. I was mad at this woman, but I had no choice but to accept her apology and try again tomorrow.

I'm also trying to be a lot nicer to people when I can, but I'm curious... Where do you draw the line between being nice and being a pushover? What would be an appropriate response in this situation? I wanted to be polite and understanding with the recruiter, but at the same time I certainly don't want this to happen again!

How do you deal with this in your everyday life? Do you try to be as nice as possible to people? Do you get angry? Somewhere in between?

If I was in that situation I would err on the side of being too nice and understanding, though that's just me and I'm not sure if that's the best way to act. I wouldn't want to risk creating a bad impression by getting angry which may potentially jeopardise your application, and people make mistakes. It might be okay to say a bit of your concerns if you can keep it light and stay calm.

_________________
A smile costs nothing

In terms of asserting yourself with an interviewer: I have had very bad luck with that. My goal was to show that I was ambitious and confident, but I ended up looking like a jerk. I got a very nice, "Despite your impressive qualifications..." letter and that was that. After obsessive self-review, I'm pretty sure that letting them know I disagreed with one of their approaches is what cost me the position.
You said you're overqualified and the pay isn't that great.. Do you want the job? If so, what draws you to it?

When I was having no luck, I eventually realized it was because I was 'too nice'. People are always suspicious of someone unusually nice because they tend to assume you are just putting on an act. If I had my time back, I would mention how it was okay but I would not hide my frustrations and explain that my time is valuable too. The two jobs I got before this one I got my being very cocky and telling the manager "your X sucks and here's how I'm going to fix it". Before that I was the stereotypical doormat like all the "experts" told me to be and got absolutely nowhere. You should be polite but firm in this situation.

If I'm hiring someone, I want to see they have a backbone as long as they don't try to boss me around. I remember being at a Wendy's and watching this thug kid being interviewed with the most fake smile in the world. It was obvious his 'manners' were all an act. An extreme example, but that's what I would be thinking if someone was unusually nice to me. Having said that, don't be like the guy from India who came in on the very first day and started bossing me around and telling me we are doing things his way. People like that are shown the door VERY quickly.

Heck, I could replace 'employer' with 'available female' and this advice would still be the same. Don't be a demanding jerk but DO NOT be a doormat or too agreeable. It's annoying and everyone will assume you have ulterior motives even when you do not.

Be polite but pleasant. You want the job.