Emotional benefits of employment (for Aspies)?

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It is a universal belief that (beyond the practical benefits), having a job has emotional benefits as well:

-Meaning or sense of purpose
-Human connection
-Feeling of being productive, or useful
-Increased self-esteem

When I was employed (currently unemployed), coworkers didn't seem to like me. I felt like an outcast.

I have other mental issues (aside from Aspergers) that made me do a crappy job as well. So it did nothing for my self-esteem. I felt inferior and incompetent (well, objectively, I was!)

As far as meaning, the job I had had no personal meaning or value. It was tedious, stressful (intolerable due to sensory issues) and uninteresting.

As far as feeling productive, well since it felt meaningless, it didn't feel like I was doing anything productive either because I was incompetent at the job and moody. Whose lives did I really touch in a positive, meaningful way? Well, overall I caused more problems being there than I solved!

Based on my own personal experience then, having Aspergers negated much of the positive benefit most people derive from employment, that is, on an emotional level. Obviously, having a job has practical benefits, such as paying the bills.

However, I am curious what, if any, emotional benefit most Aspies derive from employment.... or is it null and void?

I get very little emotional benefit from my job, Sad but true, I do it because I have to pay the rent or be homeless. I really also didn't want a car but I need one to get to work especially since I work evenings and nights.

One night I was at work. I'm a nurse. This distraught woman who's family member was dying approached me. "You people are angels," she said. "This work is so hard. How can you do it?" I just looked at her and said, "I need the money to pay the rent." She was flabbergasted. "How can you talk like that?" she asked. "I wouldn't lie to you, ma'am," I answered. "You wouldn't appreciate that."

Yes, I should have used a little decorum that night, but that was my asperger's bluntness talking.

The financial benefits are good, though. I mean, with a job, I'm able to get an apartment, buy a car, go out to restaurants and the movies, and maybe even take in a concert or two. I suppose it helps my self esteem but I can't help but think that a gun is at my throat every time I punch the clock.

You left out:
- Providing for or contributing to the economy of the family
or
- Providing independence

Or are these what you consider to be the practical benefits? Because for many NTs these are also deeply emotional benefits. They are THE reason most of us haul our backsides into work most days of our adult lives. (We actually prefer to be home doing as we please, except that it's our work income that contributes having a home.)

RedRobin; you, Fnord, MrXXX and one other guy (who's name alludes me) are the only folks here on WP who I hear talking about working in order to survive, as if survival itself is a worthy enough goal. But almost everyone I know in real life feels this way; working - simply for survival - is OK; better than OK; they are grateful to be employed. And all agree that working is stressful, tiring and sometimes humiliating.

I wonder; why do soooo many folks here on WP reject the idea that working, simply to survive, is a worthy endeavor? Don't get me wrong; I know plenty of aspies in real life (probably @ 20) and all of them are employed (except two of the teenagers). No one I know in real life, aspie or NT, enjoys their job; still, they feel that it's preferable to being unemployed.

I've been curious about this for a long time; here on WP, why isn't survival higher on the list of goals worthy enough to bother working for?

Maybe it's due to a lack of the other end of the equation: loved ones, family, friends/active social life. With a family et al maybe there's a strong feeling of equity, "I'm suffering now, but it's worth it because my family is very important to me and providing for them make me feel good." Without that or something similar you're just suffering to avoid suffering more (sleeping on the street or starving). There's only the avoidance of bad consequences, rather than motivation coming from positive reasons that make the future seem like a good thing.

I would love to have a "fun" job where I do "fun" things and enjoy going to work and they give me a paycheck. The reality is, such things don't exist. You don't work, you don't eat. I've been homeless. I've spent years sleeping in cars, living in drug treatment centers, etc. I've fought the law and the law won. I can't busk like a young adult anymore. I'm too old. I can't sleep in cars anymore. I'm too old. I can't go around crashing on people's sofas anymore. I'm too old. I like living in Seattle but the rents are amazingly high. To pay it, I have to work. There's just no way around that. I've accepted defeat. I don't question it. The landlord's not going to be sympathetic and give me a break because I'm on the spectrum. I owe, I owe, so off to work I go. Ugly situation, yes, but a necessary evil.

Well after bring bullied, harassed, beaten and everything in between in school it was like heaven on Earth working. I found ADULTS who actually liked me and WANTED to talk to me and enjoyed my company. Sure it was tough but I was finally able to feel like a human being again and that was worth more than any paycheck. Of course, work is FAR more enjoyable when you are 16 and are supported by your parents 100%. I LOVED that job part time as a teenager but when I had to do it, it was DREADFUL!

I love my job. And have always loved working. I get a sense of usefulness and purpose from it. I like being good at what I do and putting everything into it. Helps if you truly believe what u do is worthwhile. Also my main socialisation is done at work where there is a scripted role to play and the work side of things makes socialising so much easier. Sitting in the lunchroom is the hard part cause no one wants to talk about work then. At least work gives me something tangible to engage others around me in.

For me work means long stress filled miserable days causing me to be so exhausted that I can't do or enjoy anything else and making barely enough money to have a place to live and eat so I can be housed and fed during my misery. I don't work and don't want to. Any benefits do not outweigh all the misery.

I think I should look for a job that suits my interests and my needs.
I would need a job that:
-is not boring. I would just quit after a few weeks if it was boring.
-leaves me some leisure time. I couldn't bear a job that takes all my time and doesn't leave me some free time to do things I like.
-is not underpaid. What's point in working if I can't get enough money to go ahead?
-is not too far away from my house. I'm not the type of person that is willing to go to a workplace when this is far away from the house.
-is not too fast-paced. I am a slow thinker, I need my time to understand and do things.
-implies only superficial social contact, if any. I don't have social anxiety and I'm not shy, it's just that I am easily bothered, therefore I could easily start arguing with people if the job implied more than superficial social contact, and I'd probably get soon fired.
Unless people there have my same interests. This way, I could just get along by talking about my interests.
-is not noisy. I couldn't bear a noisy workplace.

I though I could be a geologist, or a translator, since these works wouldn't be boring for me and also I'm interested in geology and am good at translations if I like the language.
I would also like a job related to technology.

I hope I will be able to find a job that fits my criteria, even because being supported by someone until I die or the person supporting me dies really sounds annoying to me. I couldn't bear having another person there in the house for more than a few hours when I'll be older, I would be too bothered by it.

Though my current job assignment is tedious and stressful, I have been fortunate that most of my working life I have found my work reasonably fulfilling. Two things that helped me get to that point were and are: understanding myself from a Myers-Briggs perspective, and also the book "What Color is Your Parachute".

I like being independent and self-sufficient.
I like being able to buy things for myself and people I care about
I like being able to put my skills to good use.

Being able to pay bills and buy things gives you a big emotional lift.

Being able to drive my car to the beach and go for a swim with the fins and trunks I just paid for gives me a huge emotional boost.

I have worked with great people and with jerks--the job is a job and we are there for the money. It's nice when we mostly get along, but that is not the point--just a bonus when it happens. It's horrible when I am singled out and I start hearing people whisper behind my back, but as long as I don't get fired and I do get credit for the work I do, I can live with that nonsense--and keep my eye on the paycheck.

Because I had to take a second job to make ends meet, which leaves me with much reduced time for the things I care about personally, I started doing something as part of my daily routine at work. It seems to help:

Every day, at the end of my workday, I take five minutes before going home (even in my car) to list the things I appreciate about my job that day. The list changes from day to day, but some of the items have included:

-Extra money
-Greater self-sufficiency
-Learning new skills, some of which I am really good at
-New experiences to add to my resume (for the job I REALLY want!)
-A co-worker was kind or helpful to me
-I am learning to better deal with things I find difficult / which bother me
-I am meeting people who can give me good advice about future plans and investments
-The schedule is accommodating and flexible for my needs as a parent
-I don't have a long commute, and can sometimes ride my bike to work
-I can take brief breaks when I need to do so
-I sometimes get to walk out to get the mail
-I generally have 30 minutes alone in the office in the morning before co-workers arrive so I can sort out my thoughts in quiet
-I can walk across the street to my other job

The list varies every day, sometimes it is shorter than other days. But I find this addition to my routine helps a lot, because many things about this second job are poorly suited to me: phones constantly ringing; noise of lawnmowers outside and copiers and faxes inside; co-workers conversation often annoying or perplexing; and having to juggle fifty thousand distractions, which put me on the verge of meltdown and leave me exhausted by the afternoon when I have to go to my other job for two hours before picking up my son...

It also helps that the afternoon job is one I enjoy and am very good at, which builds my confidence when the morning job has drained it.

Naturalist, I love your list making idea.

When you can see what you love and what you do well at, it makes it all that much more real.

As for me, working means independence and survival.

The other stuff is great, but if the above two are met, then I am doing well. I have sacrificed, so far, having family for a job. And I just don't mean having kids... I have said goodbye to everyone I love for this job. It had better be worth it.

- Building interpersonal emotional and communication skills
- Dealing with many responsibilities at once
- Handling and facing unknown challenges