Career Advice?

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Long post coming up so I'll try to be concise. A couple of days ago I got kicked out of my house and now I'm back with Mum. Also after what I thought was a successful date I got removed from the girls contacts. I thought she'd be the one but then again I think any girl who can go on a date with me and not run away screaming is the one. I felt really depressed for a couple of days. Like I was worthless but then I realized maybe the reason I feel worthless is because of my job. It's been bugging me for a couple of years and I never know whether to do anything about it. I'm on a pension and work a supported wage job. I kind of feel bad about this because it's not a real job. I've felt scared to get a real job and more scared of going to Uni. I did a semesta of college and found it exhausting. The same problem I had in later school (except for the year I did part time).

I'd been thinking the way to turn my life around would be to get a real career. I don't know if it should be professional or working class. I've never known what I should do. I enjoy driving, typing and writing (which is why this post is too long) and I'm bad at higher maths. Some days I feel like I need a better job to feel good about myself but some days I feel like I already have financial stability and it would be bad to get a harder job just as an ego booster to make me look cool. I get exhausted by work but I don't know if that's because I'm on Risperidone. When I don't take it I feel more energetic yet somehow get even less work done and not taking it makes me very impulsive. I have some anxiety which makes it hard for me to distinguish real fears from ones in my head. It might be easier for me to do something part time but not many jobs offer that and I have massive resume gaps. Any advice on my conundrum?

I mean, you could try doing bits of college at a time. I have an Aspie friend who has been working as a janitor for 4+ years now, just taking a course or two at a time (even less than what you'd normally think of as part time). It'll take him a lot longer to get a degree (although if you were going for an AA it'd be a lot faster), but he's working towards one at his own pace.

As for a real job, you could always try volunteering as a transition? Pick a job you like, find someone doing it, and maybe follow them around and help them out for a bit. Like I was thinking about law, so I helped a law firm out for a while for free, and then they told me they'd hire me on (as a runner - menial tasks, but it does pay, and you drive around delivering documents...as I recall, driving was on your list of things you enjoy). You could keep working your supported wage job while you transitioned to something else (volunteering is a great way to network), and get some experience doing the new 'real job' before you officially switch over, so it doesn't seem so intimidating. You could also use this to explore the things you're interested in.

Also, I don't know if you have these wherever you are, but could you get help doing this from the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation? I have a friend who got some help (I think it was them, at least) - they paid her wage while she worked at a store for the first year or so, while she got to prove her worth, then the store got to decide if they wanted to keep her on or not (they did) as an official employee. Either way, with any of these routes you should feel productive (which certainly helps me combat depression) and get some great experience to put on your resume to make those gaps seem less obvious (extensive volunteering in an applicable area can and should go on a resume), so even if what I suggested didn't work out in the end, you'd be more likely to get the next job you applied for and hopefully help a 'real job' feel less intimidating.

Maybe you could get the dosage changed? It sounds like what you're on is too much for your energy, and none is too little, so talk to your doctor about an in-between? Of course, I don't know myself, but if it sounds good to you you may wish to consult.

No matter what you decide, please don't think of your worth as being attached to your external environment.

Hope all works out for you!

Thanks for the advice. I've done volunteering in the past but it wasn't in a work environment so there were no opportunities for networking so I'll look into it. I'd probably like being a runner or even doing pizza delivery or taxi driving. I have to decide between professional work and menial work. Professional work would provide a bigger ego boost but I could do menial work. I like switching my brain off sometimes. I could get a degree but I've heard so many stories of folks with a degree who can't get into their chosen profession.

I could go to college part time but I just worry that would look bad on my resume, like prospective employers would view part time study as a sign of laziness. I even heard of one woman who was rejected for a job because she didn't work during her major and the employer said she was lazy. I feel like I'm at a massive disadvantage being 25 and never having had a serious job. I still don't know what I want to do but you've provided some good suggestions. I heard of an aspie life coach in my home town (Adelaide, Australia). I'll try to track her down.

I'm 22 and I've never had a "real" or "serious" job either (and I don't expect that to change before I turn 23, although who knows...). I taught international students English, but the job basically involved having conversations with people, so I'm told it's not a "real job." I think part of the problem is society's idea of what a real job is. I've been tutoring and nannying for the past while and I'm told that's not a "real job" either, even though I can make way more tutoring than I can in any job that will have me right now. And I've done a bunch of jobs, but since I did them on a volunteer basis (I really do enjoy giving back), those aren't "real jobs" either, even though as soon as someone had paid me $5/hour they would have been considered such. Talking to my stepdad (who is scared I'm going to live at home forever even though I won't even be there for a full year), it seems his definition of a real job is either one where I use my college degree (nigh impossible to find at a bachelor degree level with my specific majors) or I work my butt off doing menial labor that I don't enjoy (if I was working at McDonald's, he'd be happy...mind, I'm not against all menial labor [nannying] but I don't like the idea of that particular type of labor). There's just so much tied into this concept of a "real job" and I can't claim to understand it myself. But maybe don't limit yourself to what society considers a "real job" at first, and just try something you find fulfilling - you know yourself better than anyone.

You may do really well in a runner position at a law firm, if you can find one. The nice thing is, it's menial labor, but if you prove yourself you might be able to work your way into an administrative assistant position or something like that later on and work your way up...ever considered paralegal work? (It's an area you can get your AA in, or do with on the job training, although more and more an AA is required here in the States.)

The stories of not getting a job after going to college really depend on what your degree is in. If you have an engineering degree, for instance, the odds of you not being able to land a job are slim. Medical technologists are the same way. Currently I'm considering speech language pathology, which is also in high demand. If you get a degree, basically, in something where the demand is currently greater than the supply, you should do better than others when it comes to getting a job.

I have never heard about going to college part-time looking bad on someone's resume. If anything, the esteem I held the guy in that I was referring to went way up when I heard he was working and going to school part-time. It comes across as hard working (exactly the opposite of lazy - going to school and keeping a job at the same time aren't easy) and like you don't want to put the burden of paying for college on your parents, which are pretty rare things these days. If anything, I think an employer would be impressed by the determination that shows. You'll hear all sorts of stories about the job market these things - there's probably a story for everything. (For example, I've been told that I could be rejected for being too highly qualified.) There will always be a reason an employer could feasibly come up with to reject you, but the one's you're talking about I think are pretty rare (the same as mine).

Of course, all of this information is coming from my perspective in the US - Australia could be different, and I wouldn't know because I've never been there. A life coach does sound like a good idea to help you sort all these different plans out, but make sure you follow what feels right for you.

Best of luck!

I probably have a lower standard than you of what a real job would be. I felt depressed because I realized I'd spent the last 3.8 years doing a job that pays $22 a week for 8 hours a week. At first I thought I was okay because I got a $500 a week pension on top of that but then I got an ego breakdown and thought I should do something else.

Most of my relatives are engineers but I'm just not sure if I'm up to it, especially with higher maths. Like some of the other aspies I've spoken to I went from being top of the class in maths in grade 6 to the only one who didn't get it in grade 11, possibly due to an inability to think abstractly.

I said that thing about studying part time because if I did study part time it probably wouldn't be at the same time as working. When I was at a local collage in 2008 I studied part time I passed the course but felt exhausted so I didn't do the following course which lead to my current situation with the Micky Mouse job. Maybe I should study full time just to prepare myself for full time work. I got into group that has a life coach who is herself an aspie. It's in December and I'll become a client if the group isn't enough. I think for college I have to sign up in in October for first semesta and since I don't feel like I have adequate knowledge of the real world I won't pick a course until then.

I thought I could take second semesta and in the mean time I might look into pizza delivery because that would still be a far more fulfilling job than attempting to come up with graphic designs when I'm not that artistic and spending the rest of the time surfing the web because they don't have a job for me. I already get enough web surfing in the hours of 6:00PM to 4:00AM, I don't need any more.

I wouldn't really be in it for the money because for every dollar I earn I loose 50c off the pension but if I get higher work I won't need the pension. I just hope it doesn't cause too much wear on my car. The local pizza shop says they have cars but you have to use your own if all their cars are taken. First I plan to get my Grandfather to teach me to drive stick incase the pizza shop's car isn't automatic, fix the hole in my muffler incase they want to look at my car and make a new resume inbetween tasks at work since they have Adobe Suite. I figured employees might be tired of seeing ones typed up in MS Word.

I mean, my standard of a real job is pretty low...the standard of people around me, though is pretty weird.

Another job where you could do driving if the pizza thing doesn't work out is for dry cleaners - I read my local one was hiring drivers and thought of you.

Maybe try an online not for credit class and just see how it goes? Coursera is a really great online resource for that - completely free, actual university classes, nothing bad happens if you don't do the homework/miss a test/decide to stop doing it. Plus if you do one of their courses in an area that you would have to take in college for credit in whatever degree you end up getting, you'd be more prepared for when/if you actually did take it. And it'd give you a better idea of if you can handle university-level classes. Just a thought... coursera.org I'm such a nerd that I love that website just for fun, although I just watch the lectures and never do any of the homework/tests. It could help you pick a direction to go with if you end up wanting to go back to school, too.