Is it worth keeping this job?

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I work full-time on the night shift in a veterinary laboratory about 30 minutes away. I make pretty good money at $15 an hour and the work is pretty repetitive and easy

But I made the mistake of pretty much falling in love with this married girl who seems to be pretty damaged. I think she may have BPD. I won't give the whole story for the sake of relevance but basically she kind of guided me through things when I was new and was my first real friend in the place, and then I let my guard down and we started getting pretty close, I would light up her day and she would like up mine and we flirted a lot. Unfortunately my insecurities, past screw-ups, and overthinking started getting the best of me and I got scared she was gonna run away like other girls did before, but then she re-assured me she wouldn't and she was fine with me liking her even though she was married. I guess she got some time to think and started backing away and I started getting extreme anxiety because of it, it felt like I had been abandoned by somebody important right in the middle of a foreign place. It became hard to cope and I was having full-blown anxiety attacks to the point my muscles would stiffen up and I would fight back tears and fall way behind in work so I had to go on Lorazepam to try and re-stabilize.

This past week the anxiety has caused me to throw up before or during work every single day. It started happening Friday of the week before. The married girl also started flirting with the new guy just like she used to with me this past Friday, but I was having a very good day up to that point. She told our coworker(another old crazy damaged woman) to tell me she didn't want me to talk to her and that she was getting a new job because she couldn't take seeing me get so anxious and destroyed because of her anymore. I can't tell if it's true or not but she's not acting like somebody who's going to quit their job.

The job pays extremely well and I don't know what else I could get if I started looking, ideally I'd be doing IT work but I can't compete in this market without an AA degree. If the married girl weren't here or I weren't so attached to her anymore, I think I'd probably be fine for at least a little while. Is it worth it to stay here and try to get over her or should I put forth the immense effort to find another job?

Yes. Stay at your job and try to get over her because jobs these days are hard to find. Even though Amazon, for instance, is now hiring 5000 warehouse employees and 2000 customer service employees, you can bet the applications for the positions must be a mile long. Those jobs will be a boon to their respective communities but you have to be living in or near them.

You should stay--finding work is tough these days--finding work that is easy for Aspies is extremely difficult--most jobs now require people skills or multitasking--consider yourself lucky.

If it comes down to it, there is a way to half quit a job and that's to say, 'I have a family situation I must take care of.' 'I can't say anymore, but it is a situation I have to take care of.' This is a more mature way of calling in sick.

And be advised, this may lead to loss of the job, especially with you working at night when presumably they're more thinly staffed.

In time, do you think you might be able to think of her as a former friend, perhaps even a little fondly?

It would worthwhile to get counseling or professional help to help you get over this situation.

Well, through my mom's contacts, she's learned that a bunch of places are hiring en mass for IT so I might try to get some more certs and get into that while I can. I just don't see myself doing this job long-term, it's too miserable. That girl was the only thing that kept me from burning out and it looks like although she doesn't hate me, things will never go back to the way they were, it's probably better that way for my own well-being but I don't have any other incentive to work at this job other than the pay now. Really hoping I can snag one of those IT jobs

Maybe even apply to some of them before you get the additional certs. Sometimes timing's the most important thing of all.