I can never work...

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I've finally accepted the truth, I'm too damaged to work. It's the truth, and it would take way to long to explain why, just trust me here. So, there goes a major goal in my life. What am I supposed to do with my life now, just live with my family, doing nothing important until I die? What women would want a man who can't work? I'm 32, and I'm just now realizing this, so,again, what now? I feel completely worthless and a drain on my my wonderful family, and I can never pay them back. I can't seem to accept this...

what about volunteer work. something with animals maybe. I used to read the newspaper into a recording (from my home phone) so blind people could call in and listen. volunteer work is a low-key way to be useful. it also gives you a resume and references, in case your situation improves to the point you can work - maybe part time.

I am a social worker. I know plenty of people who can't work. they tend to date each other. one couple has been together for sixteen years.

If you really can't work then you should qualify for gov't benefits; then you don't have to worry about dragging your family down, financially.

I spent about 15 years working and little of it was especially important or inspiring. I used to know a guy who was obsessed with cars since about age 10. He was smart, too, but there aren't many jobs in internal combustion engine engineering nowadays, so he became an electrical engineer. That gives him enough income to dabble with building fast cars when he has the time. I suspect that's the reality of work for most people. So, if you have any interests that aren't expensive you won't have to deal with working 60 hours a week to have fun for 8 hours on Saturday.

For many of us on the Asperger's-Autism Spectrum*, I think there is actually an inverse relationship between so-called "easy" jobs and "hard" jobs.

* I know DSM-5 no longer uses the word Asperger's, but I kind of like the phrase Asperger's-Autism Spectrum.

And by the way, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I've been on government benefits since forever, I was more talking about paying my family back with interest, if you fallow. To show them that I'm not a waste. I'd like to volunteer, but I can't drive, and the public transpiration here sucks. I honestly don't know what to do with my life from now on.

I get where you are at. Since 18, I have always worked...had bouts of unemployment, but I've always worked.

Sadly, most all those jobs were low-paying and dead-end. The "good" jobs were always out of reach. I never got picked. Now that I know about AS, I understand a large part of WHY I never got those jobs.

I'm scared.

I'm 45. In my next-to-last job, I was not paid all that much, but the boss and I got along (very, very rare). Still, because there was no future and he couldn't pay me better, I started looking for better work. SIX YEARS of searching and had maybe 2-3 interviews...never getting a job.

When he shut down, I immediately got a job elsewhere with someone I was not compatible with. It was a year of Hell for me, and he wasn't happy either. We parted ways in November 2013. Supposedly we agreed to call it a lay off because he really didn't need a full-time person for my position (which was true), but frankly I suspect he was trying to get me to quit. As I worked for him as a contractor, I get no unemployment benefits.

I'm living off of my retired parents right now (used to pay rent to help support the household). I've sent out a couple hundred resumes and apply for most any job I think I can handle.

Right now, I'll take most any job...part-time and temporary...just to bring some money in so I don't need to make my parents (both retired and no longer able to work) pay my bills for me. I've had a couple of interviews, but they always have gone with someone else.

I know the numbers. At 30, employers scrutinize you because they'd rather hire someone younger if you don't bring experience to the table. At 40, employers are concerned about your health and life priorities. At 50, you are pretty much unemployable if you don't have something impressive to show them to make you an asset.

I AM FIVE YEARS OUT FROM BEING "UNEMPLOYABLE."

I am drowning in student loan debt. Ideally, I need a government job or a job with a non-profit (full time) to have an "out" for my student loans. Nobody will pay me enough to ever take care of the debt on my own.

In this economy, with no real "job creation" going on to put people like US to work, I'm competing against every NT who has similar skills to mine who may also be younger, more attractive, etc. Without a formal Dx, playing the autism card is problematic at best. Even with a formal Dx, I don't know if I would risk it. I know my former boss would have me in a heartbeat, but he can't fire the person he wants out of his office, and nobody else has retired or transferred yet. Even then, there is no guarantee that he can hand me the job (even though I'm qualified).

I don't want to live on welfare. I know what that's like, and it's demoralizing, but if I don't get a job, what is my option? Would I even have a chance when I don't have the money to get a formal Dx? What about with a formal Dx?

When my parents needed to replace the roof on their house, I paid for 1/3 of it because I was working at the time and had the money to spare. Now, I'm going to need them to make my car payment and pretty much every other payment for me. I've already spent a lot of time considering estate planning issues because with the student loans over my head, I can't afford to inherit anything because the IRS could take it all away. Any inheritance left over (and there isn't much...trust me) is my retirement savings...for that day when I can't work full-time (or at all) anymore.

With every week that passes with my being unemployed, the odds of NEVER getting a job grows. NTs have dropped out of the job market after a year because nobody will touch them...seeing the length of unemployment as evidence that there must be something wrong with them when the truth is that there just are not enough jobs available for those looking for work.

Even IF I get a decent job, I have to worry about it ending for any number of reasons because of AS and peoples' general intolerance of anything that doesn't "fit in."

Sorry if I'm hogging the spotlight. Your post just made all of this come to the surface.

You may have options, but you're going to have to be creative to find something that works for you. I compare having AS to having a felony criminal record. A lot of places won't touch someone with a criminal record, so the ex-cons have to find creative ways to make an honest living because nobody else will give them a chance.

Anyone who is "on the outside" is put into this position.

Now you're speaking my language! I think the fact that there are not enough good jobs for everyone who wants one is a social justice issue.

It's an economic one.

You can't just give everyone a job. There has to be work to do.

Shipping our work overseas to be done at a fraction of the US minimum wage ensures we can't put everyone to work here in the USA.

Are there maybe other hidden skill, that might not make you rich, but at least give you some income? As a teen, I was earning some money by doing plans for pen and paper roleplayers. I have a good visual imagination, and are as well intersted in history and architecture, so stuff like "map plan of an gothic small town church", "little lords house", "little fortress" was for me very easy to draw, while for others such stuff is really a pain in the ass, and they were really willing me to pay fine money for creating them plans of their character houses and such stuff. I know of others, that earned money by paying people their fantasy characters. Or friends of my father, that owned little train facilities, gave me these house models you need to build themselves, because of them being too clumsy, while I loved building those. I know as well of people that produced fantasy and midi-age clothing or armor for others, and got payed for that.

If you say, that the "normal" jobmarket is not suitable for you, thats ok. But maybe you can try finding something that you can do on your own, and thats suits you?

I know of an autist that was happily as "grave-carer" (So people that moved away, or that are too old or too busy to do it on their own, give him money, so that he cares for the graves of their relatives, removes weed regularly, plants flowers on certain times, restocks the candles, ....)

What hobbies do you have, that you do when you are on your own, and that might others be interested in hiring?

Hi, these days I tend to lean toward having a mixed economic system. We may or may not agree on some of the big issues. Hopefully, we have at least some overlap, both favoring more good jobs.

Okay, I've done a thought experiment. Let's suppose there's a time travel vortex in which a hunting-gathering woman from 60,000 years ago comes to the present. I think an internal combustion engine, piece of cake, she'd understand that no problem. Radio waves including traveling between the Earth and the Moon where there's seemingly no medium for them to travel in, that one would take a while for her to wrap her mind around. And we could lay some theories on the table, such as the idea that space is fundamentally foamy. And point out that most physicists think that's not quite right either. But in due time I think she could accept, okay, we may not know all the details, but it works in a dependable, predictable way.

Unemployment might be the issue she'd really struggle with, for there sure seems like a variety of useful tasks that could be done and it doesn't make any sense that some people aren't accepted and welcomed when they could do all kinds of things. And then she'd get it, that it's about hierarchy and status.

Have you tried free-lance work as an artist of sorts or some type of craftsman?

I've felt the same way for over a decade now, since my past attempts at working all failed miserably. (And I always laugh when people suggest volunteering... If I had the ability to handle volunteering, I'd be able to handle a job too!)

But the way I see it is that in this economy, I'd rather leave a job open for someone who needs it more than I do.

I feel totally useless now that I have nothing to work towards. What am I supposed to do to fill my days with, how do I make my life worthwhile without a goal?

Now, one thing you can do this weekend is jump in and do some research for some topics you're interested in for wikipedia. And if you find some good stuff, make some edits or changes or additions to wikipedia. I've done this and have felt a sense of accomplishment, but I have not picked up colleagues along the way. Most people there seem more interested in formal phraseology than in the accuracy of the information. They really do.

I got involved in peace activism during the first Gulf War in 1990-91. I felt I did some good work and may have made a positive difference, but I didn't make any friends. Besides being as disorganized as anything else, it also had some of the same hierarchical traits. I guess people are the same pretty much anywhere, even 'good' groups, but it was a disappointment.

I've thought about more local stuff, so that it's not so philosophic and remote. Maybe something tangible like animal rescue. They might only be active once a month, but they might appreciate one more volunteer. And then I've thought, if I could get rolling and participating in three or four such groups . . .

One thing to consider is seasonal jobs. And then when the season comes to an end, you can book a victory so to speak.

I've worked retail pre-Christmas. These jobs, like at department stores, are surprisingly hard to get. You have to catch them at the right time. And I think you pretty much have to have a clean criminal record.

I've also worked at H&R Block, but the season's only five weeks and that's it. I'm good at distilling down information. I think I have the right kind of patience to maneuver in the clunky computer system and/or the right mix of patience and aggression. And I tried to disclose some of the negatives of the bank products. I always felt my clients were lucky to get me as their preparer. And it's not about me giving a virtuoso performance. It's about me being ready for a little bit of back and forth with the client. In fact, this is one of the things that convinced me I might have been a good doctor.

Last edited by AardvarkGoodSwimmer on 24 Jan 2014, 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think I can ever work either. I don't have an education other than a ged, no work history, no license or transportation other than walking or the bus, and I wouldn't want to be away from home all day every day.

The only two jobs I ever had in my life were a paper route for 2 weeks and a part time cleaning job for 5 weeks. Even working part time I was exhausted all the time and it seemed like all I did was work and sleep.

No one is going to want to hire someone that is almost 40 with no education or experience that hasn't worked in 15+ years.