Bad Blood at Work Today,should I start finding another job

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Brace yourself, this is going to be a long one,
So i had a couple of bad days at work, back to back. First two days of this week I've been screwing up alot of things. I was trained to do new stuff at work but I didn't start the work till about a week afterwards so I forgot how to do it without realizing it. I might have even fouled up today but not as badly work wise. But here is what happened that really has put a new twist on things: a senior team member sat with us in our work space today. He wanted t use the computer I wanted to use he said: I need to use that computer," and I replied: " you want to use this computer? innocently enough, or so I thought. He said yeah so I acquiesced and moved over, but apparently I did something or said it in such a manner that he took offense, he said and I paraphrase: "you were acting pretty sh***y towards me" I tried to explain that my voice or face and my emotional state do not match up, I sound or look like a jerk when I am not trying to be. But he didn't believe me.

So for the rest of the day I was pretty frustrated with myself over mistakes and within him accusing me of doing something I didn't do. Then another senior member came over to review some of the steps. Apparently I gave off such a bad vibe that the senior supervisor summoned me for a private chat. He asked me: do you like working here?" and "do you want to keep working here?" and "competent but disagreeable people don't get very far", which is ironic seeing how his boss and the owner of the company is by anyone's measure a real as*hole, which even he as said before. He explained I had a bad attitude, according to the others. It seemed like he was just giving me a polite warning, not an outright scolding. All of them said I've been doing a really good job. But again tried to explain that I sometimes come off like a jerk or angry when I am not in fact. I tried to say that everyone I know tells me I look and sound aggressive. He didn't give any hint I was going to be fired soon but I have the feeling my days are numbered.

They asked me if I wanted to work New Years day but I suspect they did so not to give their intentions away. I honestly do not know how I gave off such a bad vibe and we were all really friendly and nice, talking, bantering and so forth until today. I've been there for a month and this has been the only moment of friction, but I feel things got so bad so fast that there really is no point of return. I really don't understand how one hour could turn so badly so quickly. All of sudden I'm under the impression they think I always have been an acting like a as*hole at work

Should I start looking for another job while I still have this one?

Before anyone offers there analysis of the situation I would just like to make this statement, What pisses me off the most is that these people somehow think they have exceptional powers of "theory of mind" when they don't; no neurotypical really does. If that were true people like that Castro guy in ohio, who according to everyone was the nicest guy the knew, would not have gotten away with what he did. If everyone could read everyone correctly without error, then sociopaths and psychopaths and the like would have very little room to maneuver. But they all have free reign until they slip up and get caught which doesn't happen for years. What really f*****g pisses me off more than anything is being accused of something I didn't do and having no fair trial. I know this is how the world works, unfortunately, but G O d F u c k i n g D a m n it, why is that I or anyone one of us autistic folk have to be the ones that get punished.

Last edited by Mitrovah on 19 Dec 2013, 1:05 am, edited 2 times in total.

No.

I wouldn't look for another job at this point, but work New Years day, and act more friendly to everyone. Just move on, and always have a smile.

I don't think you have to worry about your job too much right now.

What I will also say is that I have a tendency to shoot my mouth of, criticizing the people company bosses, not my supervisors, calling them idiots. i guess those comments have been overheard and probably compounded the problem.

The senior guy made a couple of mistakes. First off, he was abrupt in saying he needed to use the computer. He could have given a one or two sentence intro, such as 'I need to check ____ . Is it okay if I use the computer for a little while?' And even though he might expect you to say yes, it's still polite to ask.

Then he could have recovered and smoothed over the situation by saying something like,'I didn't mean to put you out, but I did really need to use the computer.' Instead, he escalates. He wants you to adopt a negative label. He uses the term 'sh***y' as if this is some kind of pop psychology. Plus, for all he knows, you could be a religious person. All in all, pretty poor leadership on his part.

And yes, take what the senior supervisor said as a polite warning rather than a scolding. At the same time, I'd recommend that your resume is updated, but leave this place off.

I think this might be the cause of your issues rather than how your face looked when he asked to use your computer. Everyone has a moan at work, but expect to catch flack or be under more scrutiny for it if it gets back to the bosses. Your card might be marked. Keep your head down and get on with your work, but look for another position at the same time if you really hate it there.

I've had people think i'm mad at them when really I was feeling frustrated with myself. Usually in new situations where I'm trying not to screw things up (and knowing I am), or when i'm with people and I'm trying not to let my anxiety show.

Exactly my situation. But I still don't get how I was acting "sh***y" in the first place anyway.

Your card might be marked. Keep your head down and get on with your work, but look for another position at the same time if you really hate it there.[/quote]

Its not that I hate my job, the only thing I really don't like is the late hours and the people talking around me from other departments, its hard to get any reading done when Im sitting there for hours with nothing to do. But I still have a strong feeling Im going to be let go today. Im, going in anyway but I have strong feeling they are going to fire me anyway.

Last edited by Mitrovah on 19 Dec 2013, 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Things were pretty friendly to begin with until that incident, I still don't know how it got that bad.

You should start looking for a new position. If you like or are ok with this job you should also actively trying to salvage this one.

They told you that they value social skills as much or more then work competence. Is that where you want to stay?

If you want to stay you are the one that will have to change and it will be exhausting. Unfortunately many "aspies" do not know they are pissing people off and when told they are pissing people off they do not know why. You should ask them what you are doing to piss people off. Some people will give you more time or even help you if they see you are making an effort to "fit in". A lot of others won't care or will just expect that you should know social skills because they and everybody they know does it naturally.

I can't see how I can salvage it, I tried explaining I wasn't trying to be mean but I don't think they believe me anyway. I was fitting in just fine until this incident with this guy. This guy is kind of a bro, a nice one but Bros I guess tend to get over excited and take things personally maybe? The only way things could get better is if they forgive by forgetting which I am willing to do but I don't see that happening either, im going to stick it out any way even if they do fire me. I will just try to act like business as usual with in mind the possibility I will be fired. Im not going in expecting to keep this job but Im not going to quit either. I would at least like to collect my paycheck or get in a day or two worth of pay before I get the boot. But I sure as hell will not grovel for my job, If I'm going to get fired, I am sure as hell going to do it with some dignity and with some of my pride intact

This sort of thing is more common than you think. Comments of a negative nature, despite being made in what sounds like a secure situation - low voice, etc - have a tendency to travel and magically penetrate walls. My experience is to find someone I trust and 'go for a walk' or go down to building 2 to 'check something out' or 'go over some data'. These were all code words for I have to unload something unpleasant about my boss or coworkers to the trusted individual.

Magically? am I detecting sarcasm or are you really describing it as magical as in the literally "you have no idea how it just happens"

I wonder if the way you said it came off as rude.

Uh yeah, im pretty sure that is what happened, and that is my problem, I say things in such a way that sound rude but really is not intended to be.

So, This post told the story of a bad incident at work awhile ago. I though i would update while I sit here getting paid doing nothing, while I still am. Read the post and you'll know the story.

So I know Im getting moved, I won't be working for this group anymore. I am pretty sure that the incident before was the cause of me being picked over two other people.

What pisses me off is that I am more able to learn new things than the people who were picked over me. I know the I was passed over is I'm just too weird to other people

I admit I don't come off as normal. I always seem to be at my best in the beginning but then get worse and worse as I stay longer and longer. It doesn't seem like I can keep a job anywhere.