The Indirect Workplace <vent>

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My job is stressing me out, and I just haven't found the right way to deal with it. I just get so many mixed messages.
1. My production is slightly under goal lately. One day I'm told it's fine, and the next it's not.
2. My boss plays favorites, and I am not on her buddy list. I don't care if she doesn't like me, but I worry about it effecting my job (which is possible). She also likes to flit around socially engaging everyone, which is horrifying one on one. A couple of people above her appreciate me as an employee, so two points for me.
3, When I'm stressed, I have a tendency to self sabotage. If I'm antagonistic in any way, I'll get the "not a team player" label which is worse than a scarlet letter. I like my job and the rest of my coworkers.


Hopefully, I'm just worrying over nothing. It's a big weight on my chest right now though, because I just can't handle all these social intricacies and I hate that I need them.

Workplaces in my experience seem to always have at least one person that can stuff things up for you, even when your good at what you do. It always pisses me off when I hear someone's playing favorites and stuff on the job. I hope it all works out okay for you

What's a scarlet letter?

s-qwerty: Thanks, hopefully it will.

bb: It's a letter of shame, similar to a branding. There's a book set in Puritan times called the Scarlet Letter, where the main character must wear a scarlet A on her chest for committing adultery(with the village priest, if I remember correctly...)

Oh right

I thought it was a letter like what you get in the post.

D#mn it, my web keeps crashing...

My boss is just irking me. She is representative of a type of person I usually avoid, because I don't get them. Now I'm puzzling through my NT wtf...

She's all about the superficial. Plays lip service to "the team" all the time.
Is easily changeable..says one thing one moment, the opposite the next.

Deals with nothing directly. Complains endlessly about person A, called person B a b#tch today. These are people directly under her. And this is only when I've been around.

Likes calling the shots, but accomplishes this by complaining/advocating to upper management. Person A sits with her chatting in her office all day, and she's sweet as honey to him. So she complains everywhere else instead of managing.

This is just so foreign to me. She's not some passive wallflower, so what am I missing? I am choosing to view this as "learning experience" instead of "this sucks balls".

Anyone know wtf I'm missing?

I don't understand how people like your boss can live with themselves. I would feel like a horrible fraud, but they seem to be happy being paid to do not very much. She sounds like a drama queen who enjoys stirring things up and being the centre of attention.

A number of "managers" out there are corporate climbing, narcissistic, sociopaths who treat their "subordinates" like crap. It's kinda rare to get a manager who has been in your shoes and understands.

So why don't you get your Boss to like you?

Hi,

I'd guess you're scaring her. She doesn't actually know how to do s**t herself, but prides herself on "managing" others, which generally means batting eyelashes and sweet-talking. She's very proud of her "management" skills, which are essentially jr-hi emotionalism repackaged. You're impervious to this, which unnerves her.

How to make her like you but leave you alone: She'll leave you alone as much as possible just because you don't play her social game. But if you do something that her bosses like, and throw her the credit for having "managed" you so well, giving you such great direction etc., she'll decide you're on her side and will feel you're tucked away safely.

ETA: Do not give any hit of sarcasm, irony, leg-pulling, etc. while complimenting her management skills or that'll kill the whole thing. I'd suggest trying it out on someone else first.