Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Bomir
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 66

23 Apr 2014, 2:20 pm

Now I'm not a doctor and having Asperger's I know that assuming mental illness in others can be a foolhardy venture but I would be willing to put money down on the idea that our receptionist/hr manager is psychotic and I don't know what to do about it. She is also a control freak. Our interactions have become very explosive in the workplace to the point where her personal delusions are causing her to say simply false and embarrassing things to people outside of our company like vendors and people at our corporate office. She will scream and shout and say irrational things like "just because everyone remembers it one way and I remember it another doesn't mean that everyone else is right." Even if she has evidence in front of her that her memories are false she thinks its a conspiracy against her and it can't be true because as she puts it very often, "I'm a woman and a mother and we are never wrong. As a male of your generation (I'm 31) you are being disrespectful of me by questioning what I say."

She also can not recall anything said to her when she's either speaking (she interrupts constantly because she says too impatient to listen) or is thinking about what she wants to say so its impossible to talk to her coherently if she's upset in any way. Anyway, our boss has seen her do this and he doesn't do anything about it for 2 reasons 1. He says that's the way she is and we all know it. and 2. That me working with a difficult person is good for my personal and professional development because it forces me to hold in my frustration and anger. (wonderful for an aspie *rolls eyes*)

I told him flat out I refuse to work with her or speak to her which he thinks is unfortunate but now her issues have gotten so bad that she's badmouthing myself and other managers to people external to our workplace. Obviously they don't know her issues so it tarnishes our reputation both personally and professionally. What are my options and any advice on how to handle the anger and hate I have for her now by keeping professional but also how to protect myself from her.

Thank you for any advice.



MissDorkness
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 903
Location: Missouri

23 Apr 2014, 2:26 pm

I don't have much advice, except 'document.' Doesn't matter if she believes the documentation, but, if you've got it when you need it later.

I worked with someone like that for a couple years, and I heard the stories about how she was almost removed from meetings for flying off the handle and smack-talking coworkers.

Obviously, I'm not a people-pleaser and I do document everything as a matter of habit anyway, so I became a special target. She got to the point where she told our VP to outsource my job since I refused to do it (she worked for corporate, I did not, she had no right to give me work anyway, and I did MEP so her telling me to do Architectural work was just dumb anyway). I had emails and memos of our prior discussions on her areas of responsibility and mine and my job description and a summary of my work which clearly did not contain what she was expecting me to do... she had no idea what I was there for.
The VP obviously didn't know me because he was new and too important to be familiar with an odd position like mine, but, he listened to what I said and saw my documents and fired her not too long after.



Bomir
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 66

23 Apr 2014, 2:29 pm

She won't be fire though because 1. my boss thinks this is good for me contrary to what I say and 2. she handles a very complex system that would be costly to teach another person. I've been trying to find a new job but getting out of Hawaii seems like its impossible. :cry:



MissDorkness
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 903
Location: Missouri

23 Apr 2014, 2:42 pm

Bomir wrote:
2. she handles a very complex system that would be costly to teach another person. I've been trying to find a new job but getting out of Hawaii seems like its impossible. :cry:
Oooh, that's a bummer.
The person I talked about was in a very easy to replace position, not nearly as niche as what I was doing.

Really, best of luck to you. Being around a crazy person for too long can have you questioning your own sanity or pushing you past your established boundaries.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,964
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

23 Apr 2014, 2:59 pm

MissDorkness wrote:
Bomir wrote:
2. she handles a very complex system that would be costly to teach another person. I've been trying to find a new job but getting out of Hawaii seems like its impossible. :cry:
Oooh, that's a bummer.
The person I talked about was in a very easy to replace position, not nearly as niche as what I was doing.

Really, best of luck to you. Being around a crazy person for too long can have you questioning your own sanity or pushing you past your established boundaries.


Perhaps we should take all the crazy people and send them to an island in the middle of nowhere....just don't particularly like the attitude expressed in that comment. That said it does seem like a hard situation to deal with...and in my opinion this individual probably needs psychological help and I can see why its difficult for the OP to deal with that behavior...but general stigma against people with mental illness doesn't help anything. Of course the problem is they would have to acknowledge they might have an issue and try and get help for it, but of course why would someone want to consider they might have a mental illness when that stigma exists?


_________________
We won't go back.


MissDorkness
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 903
Location: Missouri

23 Apr 2014, 3:54 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
MissDorkness wrote:
Bomir wrote:
2. she handles a very complex system that would be costly to teach another person. I've been trying to find a new job but getting out of Hawaii seems like its impossible. :cry:
Oooh, that's a bummer.
The person I talked about was in a very easy to replace position, not nearly as niche as what I was doing.

Really, best of luck to you. Being around a crazy person for too long can have you questioning your own sanity or pushing you past your established boundaries.


Perhaps we should take all the crazy people and send them to an island in the middle of nowhere....just don't particularly like the attitude expressed in that comment. That said it does seem like a hard situation to deal with...and in my opinion this individual probably needs psychological help and I can see why its difficult for the OP to deal with that behavior...but general stigma against people with mental illness doesn't help anything. Of course the problem is they would have to acknowledge they might have an issue and try and get help for it, but of course why would someone want to consider they might have a mental illness when that stigma exists?
A layperson referring to someone as crazy does not = mental illness, it's just a colloquialism.



KingdomOfRats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,833
Location: f'ton,manchester UK

23 Apr 2014, 7:49 pm

OP,
it sounds like are clashing with the ladys differences and the obvious but most difficult one at this stage is to get another job or to try and get a job elsewhere in the company;such as another store/building if they have several ,obviously she isnt doing anything wrong unless she happens to be harassing other workers or customers- or breaking any other rules, in her world what she says is true and what other people are saying will be confusing and upsetting her, psychosis is an evil b***h.


MissDorkness wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
MissDorkness wrote:
Bomir wrote:
2. she handles a very complex system that would be costly to teach another person. I've been trying to find a new job but getting out of Hawaii seems like its impossible. :cry:
Oooh, that's a bummer.
The person I talked about was in a very easy to replace position, not nearly as niche as what I was doing.

Really, best of luck to you. Being around a crazy person for too long can have you questioning your own sanity or pushing you past your established boundaries.


Perhaps we should take all the crazy people and send them to an island in the middle of nowhere....just don't particularly like the attitude expressed in that comment. That said it does seem like a hard situation to deal with...and in my opinion this individual probably needs psychological help and I can see why its difficult for the OP to deal with that behavior...but general stigma against people with mental illness doesn't help anything. Of course the problem is they would have to acknowledge they might have an issue and try and get help for it, but of course why would someone want to consider they might have a mental illness when that stigma exists?
A layperson referring to someone as crazy does not = mental illness, it's just a colloquialism.

'crazy' is a commonly used disablist slur directly against or relating to mentaly ill people so its easy for people to not recognise an innocent 'crazy' from a disablist 'crazy', especialy as the lines were blurred even further by connecting it to a lady with pyschosis.


_________________
>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!