Application Form Hell

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"What are your strengths?"

I'm guessing almost every job wants people who 'work well in a team' which I am the opposite of.

"What skills would you like to improve?"

Ok not quite, but I can't exactly write down 'coping with mental illness and social anxiety'.

"What are your hobbies?"

Srsly.

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I have no idea at all how to navigate this mess of questions. And if I get an interview at all then I'll need a miracle to help me deal with that.

Basically I am failing university very badly despite having already repeated a whole year once before. I hate it and do not want to continue with it if there is any decent alternative. So I am instead looking for an apprenticeship. I've had no trouble finding things to apply for, which is a pleasant surprise. It's just the actual applying which is proving difficult. I'm mostly going for engineering or IT roles.

EXAMPLE: "My strengths include an ability to focus on providing precision to the tasks with which I am assigned. I can work with little oversight."


EXAMPLE: "I would like to improve and share my strength of self direction within the small workgroups with which I would be assigned so that all group members would benefit from my strengths, too."


EXAMPLE: "Chess for its logical attributes and Sodoku for its individualized mathematical skills."

These kinds of answers would help you: 1) hint that you work best alone, and 2) give them an idea of your workplace "personality" without feeling that you need to disclose everything.

You know what answers they are looking for so do what most people do and lie. No-one mentions their weaknesses on applications or in interviews and as for hobbies put anything other than 'socialising with friends' as that will be read as going out drinking and calling in sick the next day.

I like this. When they ask for a negative, and they will, a little bit finesse it and give another positive.

I hate these vague tests.

I'd like to become more skillful at giving the right sort of answer to questions of this kind.

I hate questions to which they won't honor honest answers.

^ This. XD


But what I ended up putting was something about enjoying solving maths/logic/computing problems, I would like to be able to better handle unfamiliar situations, and I talked about some volunteering I did a while ago.

Never mention anything about having a condition such as Asperger's---they'll throw away the application straight away!

Oh, that sounds like a pretty good answer...

I agree with Daria!

Who woudln't?

Ach, the last time I did one of those I made the mistake of filling it out honestly. Even as I filled it out I wondered if everyone else would lie and if I should compensate accordingly.

Pro tip, if you tell them your hobby is playing the piano they're unlikely to find out you don't play.
I've learned this because I actually do play the piano but I've never been asked to give a recital at work

I'm an NT, and think they are garbage questions too....

I can wax eloquently on each question, but the whole time I'm just seething be a use the questions are STUPID. I don't know why an HR troll thinks these matter a damn to getting a job.

I hear in France if you apply for a job they also anylize your handwriting based on the false notion that certain types of handwriting reveal positive or negative personality types. This is complete bollocks pseudoscience and about as ridiculous as phrenology. Anyway if you lived in France and just happened to have the wrong type of handwriting you'd have trouble getting work even if you had the same positive traits they say you're handwriting proves you lack.

Haha I always have to think about QI.

"What are your strengths?"
I'm able to take stupid tests and direction from idiots without complaining too much. I also posses a powerful odour that only gets stronger throughout the day.

"What skills would you like to improve?"
I've got an uncontrollable urge to steal but have been fired several times in the past after getting caught so must try to get better at it.

"What are your hobbies?"
A combination of heroin, masturbation and sitting around smelling my own farts, in any order.