Dealing with never fitting in.
So I figured out why I always "job-hopped". Maybe some of you have experienced the same thing? You leave because you fail to fit in. The only other reason I leave a place is due to physical manifestations of stress, which is a sign I'm headed for trouble so I have to quit right then. My last job lasted 15 months and I only left because they tricked me into transferring to another store. The sudden change and added stress I couldn't cope with. In the past I quit before things got really bad but lately due to the economy I feel as though I really can't quit, it's so hard to find something else and really hard to find something good with poor networking skills.
Has anyone successfully kept up their professional network? If so how do you do it? I have even considered putting everyone I ever meet into a spreadsheet and randomly doing stuff to nurture the connection but not in a creepy way and keep track of it cuz my biggest problem is remembering who and what is well who and what they can do for me in the future because I don't think like that. I have to record the obligation thing or I end up fizzling out on people and appear flaky.
Also, how does one , connect in a team environment, enough to be a team player but also at the same time not too much for an aspie?
Any help much appreciated. I hate that I have to get another job soon, the one I have is only temporary. So I have to find something now and use any network I get in my current job.
Thanks again.
Has anyone successfully kept up their professional network? If so how do you do it? I have even considered putting everyone I ever meet into a spreadsheet and randomly doing stuff to nurture the connection but not in a creepy way and keep track of it cuz my biggest problem is remembering who and what is well who and what they can do for me in the future because I don't think like that. I have to record the obligation thing or I end up fizzling out on people and appear flaky.
Also, how does one , connect in a team environment, enough to be a team player but also at the same time not too much for an aspie?
Any help much appreciated. I hate that I have to get another job soon, the one I have is only temporary. So I have to find something now and use any network I get in my current job.
Thanks again.
I feel really fortunate that I found my way into work where I actually managed to make a lot of friends. I really feel more comfortable at a networking event (I help organize some now) than I do a family reunion.
I DO have trouble remembering people. I might remember someone's first or last night, but, accidentally associate it with another person at a different company. LinkedIn helps a lot. Even if I haven't connected with someone, I can do a quick search for their name, usually has a photo and company name which is enough to job my memory. I also married someone who did the same type of work and he's helped me by jumping in to do introductions or bringing up an old story to cement a bond with people, again, very fortunate on my part. If your contacts aren't on LinkedIn, then, maybe a spreadsheet is your best bet.
I also like to shoot myself an email if I meet someone interesting, their name, something from the conversation we had, and where we were when we had it (location context helps me a lot). Of course, I have my smartphone with me at all times, so doing a quick search through my email (for my notes and any messages we've exchanged) when I see someone pull in a parking lot helps me feel more confident after a refresher.
I'd love to hear anyone else's tips about managing networking contacts.
Oh, I also believe in being visible and being available for anyone who has a quick question. As each social network has come online, I've created a profile, even if I don't actively use it. If someone on Google+ thinks about Facilities Management and wants to tag me in a post, I want them to be able to, because a lot of folks will go 'meh, not here, I'm not going to bother composing a whole email'. Of course, I'm not at all tempted to 'keep up' on a social network like LinkedIn or Twitter, if you're an obsessive type and feelbad if you can't read everything, this tactic might not be for you.
Has anyone successfully kept up their professional network? If so how do you do it? I have even considered putting everyone I ever meet into a spreadsheet and randomly doing stuff to nurture the connection but not in a creepy way and keep track of it cuz my biggest problem is remembering who and what is well who and what they can do for me in the future because I don't think like that. I have to record the obligation thing or I end up fizzling out on people and appear flaky.
Also, how does one , connect in a team environment, enough to be a team player but also at the same time not too much for an aspie?
Any help much appreciated. I hate that I have to get another job soon, the one I have is only temporary. So I have to find something now and use any network I get in my current job.
Thanks again.
I had been fortunate to work for a company for over 3 years. This is because my manager was, at times, more awkward than me and I only had 1 co-worker (we were a sales team of 3 @ a plumbing store). I made good money here and lived alone in a big city. I had to leave and move back with my parents for a bit though because I had debits to pay and was struggling with money.
I was fortunate again to get a job in my hometown @ another plumbing store where I worked with older people (With whom I'm much more comfortable with than people my own age.) The next youngest is 39 after me.
Recently, the big boss at the company I left called me and asked me to run my own store in another big city for a lot more money. I'm taking the job and move in September. It seems like a huge undertaking for someone with aspergers to run a retail store, but I'm excited. I will be the boss and won't have to worry about work place social. I am good with customers because I can play my "salesman" character well. Plus, I will be able to take breaks when I'm overwhelmed and let my employees handle customers. Which is a luxury I never had before!
_________________
"If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us."
The Squid has been with his current full-time job for 7 1/2 years. We have never found ourselves job hopping. Every job we've had, we managed to stay with it for no fewer than four years. Our approach to work is just that: Work. We don't worry about fitting in, making friends. (If we do, it's a plus, but it's not our goal.) We do our work, and go home. We don't ask for too many special days off, because we don't expect anyone else to work in our place. It sounds grizzly, but it's the only way we have managed to do as well as we have.