I think I'm gonna quit my fast-paced job

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Note: if I leave out certain details or if things don't makes ensemble, I'll edit this post later on for better clarification. Otherwise, read my replies for some clarification.


So....lemme try to the this out ASAP before I have to leave to a relatives place for the 4th of July.


So since around the very last week of April of is year, I've had a job as a "utility clerk" at a local grocery store (while local, they have about 9 or so stores opened). This means that I mainly do bagging while sometimes I may do such things like change the garbage (only either morning or later at night), clean the bottle return room, use the scrubber during the morning, etc.

I was originally looking for a position in grocery stocker but because I have never had a job before, I was put into being a utility clerk. I could have easily turned down the position and looked for another job. However, I was desperate for ANY job; some way to finally have some income and to leave the life of NEETdom.

While I have tried to think clearly throughout my time there, I found at slowly, this was getting more and more difficult as the amount of people, orders, and things to keep track of increased. I have slowly "lost my cool" one or two times in the past. NOT at the customers but I would often bag faster or jog/run from one place to a other. Now, we are esentially in the store's most bussiest week in the year due to a local festival going on. For the past few days, I've had to work 8 hours per workday. I have yet to get my scedual for next week.

Yesterday and today, I have found myself worrying to the point where other employees had to tell me to calm down. Today, I was jogging towards the front of e store to clock in (I didn't want to end up being 1 minute late). One of the co-managers told me to calm down and said "I know there's a lot of people around, but you have to focus on doing your job. Just slow down." (Paraphrased). I have never told them about my AS because I was afraid they wouldn't hire me if I did. Now, if I tried to tell them, they'd just think I'm BSing. "Oh, you need lesser hours or more breaks? Who cares, just do your job"

Before I left, I collected my check and asked about how long for someone like me to end up working as a grocery stocker. "6 months" is what I heard. I don't have the patience to wait 6 months while I worry about my mental well-being.

I'm sorry, I have to leave abruptly. I'm sorry if this makes no sense.

But the thing is that I've had, like, 6 or so minutes late overall in May and June (mainly because I missed 1 or 2 minutes because of going to the bathroom and miscalculating how long I'd take or primarily relying on the one clock on the wall until I was told it wasn't that accurate, etc). Fortuinately, I just had to sign some paper and everything was ok (I guess). That most of this happened not before I went to work but around the times my break or lunch was over. Since then, I've tried to arrive a minute or three early. That means if my break ends at 3:30, I'd clock back in at 3:29 or 3:27. The reason for being so cautious is because it's quite a ways from the breakroom to the clock in/out machine.

Mine isn't that noticeable, at least as far as I know. I imagine it looks more as though I have agoraphobia or am just awkward/nervous.

Even if I call and ask about getting a position as a grocery stocker in another place, the store I work at is the closest to me (about 4 or so miles; about a 10 minute drive). The next store is probably another 4 or 5 miles. That and my dad is responsible for both dropping me off and picking me up. So if I were to move to the one that's further away, that's about 8 or 9 miles needed to move me to and from the job. Not to mention that my mom needs to be both dropped off and picked up around the same location I'm at (unless she either gets a ride home or if we both coincidentally got out of work at the same time). I'd probably would have to double the payment for gas (from $20 a week to $40) despite the hourly wages being the same.

Either way, I feel as though my only choice is to just quit the job and try to find another one well-suited for me. I mean, if I do have to pay more for gas so my dad can drive me to and from work, at least I have about $500 saved. I'll try to stick to my job for a few more weeks just to see how things go. If the whole "simply calming down and not being as creepily-perky to customers (to the point where I look unmotivated despite the physical work being done)" goes well, hey maybe....I can stay and I won't feel as worried about whether I should quit ASAP or not. As Randall Graves put it: "[Y]ou overcompensate for having what's basically a moneky's job."

I hope to find another job while working at my current one. If I find that I like the other job better, then I can safely quit my current one.

There is but it's very limited to certain things (doesn't help that I live around a rural area). Mainly the only reliable transportation is busing but it doesn't operate too early in the morning or too late in the day (e.g. 8 PM to 10 PM).

That and the whole thing is kinda too worry some to entirely rely on since it can arrive WAY early than expected or way later. (When I had to go to college for the summer last year, I had to rely entirely on bus transportation, so I do have experience with it). It doesn't help that you're not suppose to arrive at work 15 or more minutes early (unless I decided to hide far from the enterance on the other side of the building).

I'll have to ask the employer at whatever my new job is if they can provide a monthly pass for me. That is if somehow busing does work due to the schedule or whatever.

Yeah.

So if I do need to use the bus. The only thing I can hope is it's near somewhere close to work.