Do workplace bullies feel threatened?

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PaulHubert
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16 Aug 2014, 11:17 pm

Ok, this guy probably worked here a year or two ago: never really liked him when I started working, but never had a problem with him either. I was extremely anxious and lacked confidence when I started working half a year ago, but in the past few months, I have gotten better and visited more clients without a second thought (I'm a hardware support guy, aka "IT guy"). A week ago, this guy bumped me in the shoulder (hard enough to start a fight if you were playing basketball at the Y) and he wouldn't let me pass to my cubicle (we were alone)..I pushed my way through, he said "I let you pass." Later that week, I forgot my badge; I asked him to open the door, he didn't; I had to walk around. When I got to my desk he said "Don't you hate it when you forget something little and someone's a dick to you about it?" Oh, and I recently came to the realization that he hits ignore half the time when I IM him remotely. Long story short, he wants to make me his b***h if he gets the opportunity.

I'm trying to figure out how to get him back (or even just end it...but preferably get him back). What if he implied I was stupid, and then I throw it in his face about how I have a 4 year degree from a good school (mascot rhymes with dokie) and he's still trying to get into one (we work for a community college, most of us study there; I'm studying post grad, he didn't get into 4 year school out of high school). Or if he gets in my face in front of a bunch of people, I could say "it's ok ___, I'm not going to take your job." If possible I really want to embarrass this guy with something witty. If my suggestions have to be toned down some I'll gladly hear alternatives.

It kind of feels good that the workplace bullying website mentioned bullies often feeling threatened, I know it's not the case 100% of the time but I can see how it's likely the case here. I also suspect he is one of those type of guys who buys the expensive convertible and big house to make up for their "little secrete": he's short, rides a motorcycle, and carries a knife around; he kind of has a boyish look to him..may have even got picked on in high school or something.



Meistersinger
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17 Aug 2014, 1:11 am

PaulHubert wrote:
Ok, this guy probably worked here a year or two ago: never really liked him when I started working, but never had a problem with him either. I was extremely anxious and lacked confidence when I started working half a year ago, but in the past few months, I have gotten better and visited more clients without a second thought (I'm a hardware support guy, aka "IT guy"). A week ago, this guy bumped me in the shoulder (hard enough to start a fight if you were playing basketball at the Y) and he wouldn't let me pass to my cubicle (we were alone)..I pushed my way through, he said "I let you pass." Later that week, I forgot my badge; I asked him to open the door, he didn't; I had to walk around. When I got to my desk he said "Don't you hate it when you forget something little and someone's a dick to you about it?" Oh, and I recently came to the realization that he hits ignore half the time when I IM him remotely. Long story short, he wants to make me his b***h if he gets the opportunity.

I'm trying to figure out how to get him back (or even just end it...but preferably get him back). What if he implied I was stupid, and then I throw it in his face about how I have a 4 year degree from a good school (mascot rhymes with dokie) and he's still trying to get into one (we work for a community college, most of us study there; I'm studying post grad, he didn't get into 4 year school out of high school). Or if he gets in my face in front of a bunch of people, I could say "it's ok ___, I'm not going to take your job." If possible I really want to embarrass this guy with something witty. If my suggestions have to be toned down some I'll gladly hear alternatives.

It kind of feels good that the workplace bullying website mentioned bullies often feeling threatened, I know it's not the case 100% of the time but I can see how it's likely the case here. I also suspect he is one of those type of guys who buys the expensive convertible and big house to make up for their "little secrete": he's short, rides a motorcycle, and carries a knife around; he kind of has a boyish look to him..may have even got picked on in high school or something.


First off, a Hokiebird is still a turkey :twisted: . It could be worse, you could be a Crimson Canary (aka Crimson Hawk, for those that just graduated from IUP. <rant>(And frankly, I will never consider the Crimson Hawk as the IUP mascot. To me, they're still the Indians, despite what the NCAA says.)</rant>

Personally, I wouldn't bother with that twit, unless he begins to escalate his actions. Once he starts escalating, I'd start documenting his actions. Let him hang himself with your documentation. Once he does something majorly stupid to you, haul his arse and yours into the Supervisor's office. Show the Supervisor your documentation and ask for a swift redress of this jerk's actions.



MissDorkness
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18 Aug 2014, 2:06 pm

I ignore and document.

I couldn't plan ahead for a witty comeback, but, if I see an opening, I hop on it. I managed to land a good 'burn' or two over the years.

Luckily, it's not something i've had to deal with much since I left school.



katiesBoyfriend
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18 Aug 2014, 2:30 pm

I taught for several years at a post-secondary institution. It didn't take long before my office mate started picking at me. He became even worse after he was promoted to assistant department head. Then our new DH went on leave and this character took over. For a year and a half, he spent his time consumed with having me fired, preferably after I'd disgraced and dishonoured himself.

I asked him in a meeting if his concerns were professionally motivated. His reaction was to turn so red that he could have been used as a traffic light and to become defensive ("Don't start attacking me.")

Things got so bad that I complained about him to the associate dean. The AD conducted his own investigation and, between the three of us, we reached an agreement.

However, my ADH didn't let things rest and continued his campaign. He thoroughly trashed me in my performance appraisal, which I brought to the associate dean's attention. For some odd reason, my tormentor decided to re-do it.....

That department head wasn't much better, particularly after I started on my Ph. D.

To this day, I never officially learned why, though I suspect that the two of them were not just insecure at being in the presence of someone clearly better-educated than either of them, they were envious that I earned degrees (or, perhaps, more correctly, the titles associated with them) that they would never have.

Bullying and harassment is a severe problem in academic institutions. Henry Kissinger summed it up nicely when he said that academic politics are so vicious because the stakes are so small.