Update on work related social success

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goldfish21
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16 Aug 2014, 2:40 pm

I know I've posted a few update threads around the forums over the months, but I feel this is a significant improvement that I should share separately as while it's not exactly symptom related, it's certainly correlated.

I've been offered 4 jobs in as many weeks. That's pretty significant vs. 2 years ago being so frustrated with not being able to obtain nor hold down a job due to my symptoms constraining me from performing properly - whether actual work performance, or the social interaction parts of work.

One of my old bosses has been asking me to come back and work for him during his busy Summer season of pressure washing. He pays fairly well, but it's not the type of work I want to be doing and there isn't much more I can learn by doing it - I'd simply be earning a paycheque and I want more than that out of a job. He has some contracts that he really wants me to come and help him with on weekends if I can't work full time for him... buuuut I'm only free on weekends if the weather is poor - as I'm back to kiteboarding as much as I can until the weather turns. Disclaimer: I've known him for a few years, went to high school together - but we didn't know each other at all then.

Another guy I used to work for called and asked if I'd be able to manage his restaurant (solo) while he made an emergency family trip overseas to visit his ailing grandmother. If my time wasn't already occupied, I'd have done it to help him out. I was working for him a year and a half or so ago when I first began treating myself and my symptoms in all the ways I've described in the link in my sig and so he knows full well just how far I've come since then. It doesn't hurt that he's also been to medical school and has an understanding of some of this stuff. It was pretty cool observing with him week by week, every Saturday that I worked for him, which of my brain functions had improved to what extent. Anyways, I've run his restaurant by myself several times and know I could handle the job if I wanted to do it. It's nice to have the offer and to know that he trusts me to do it etc - buuuut my time is already occupied. Disclaimer: While he's a year older than I am, we went to high school together and have known each other since.

A fellow kiter I met on the beach a few weekends ago, and again last weekend, is renovating a foreclosed house and offered me a job doing some skilled labour work on it. THIS is right up my alley. I'd love to be working on that job - but I've committed my time elsewhere. I do have his contact information as I think he'll be finished this project before I'm free to work with him, but I'm sure he'll buy another property to flip at some point and then I'd be happy to work on it. This offer was much more significant because I had never met the guy before and we just got to talking about business, risks, work, kiting, life, medicine etc and boom - built a decent rapport & he offered me a job. I do hope that I end up getting to work with him on either this or his next project once the stars align and our schedules both work together because I do want to be doing that type of work.

Annnnnd the 4th just happened yesterday. I'd done some subcontract work on building a brewpub & restaurant and gotten to know some of the influential people quite well (who are friendly nice people that I actually like, it wasn't just business.) - while strategically distancing myself from those that are on the social fringe/outside of "the circle." I'm pretty sure that the guy I reported to is an undiagnosed Aspie and that that's the biggest reason he's "on the outside," - but recognizing this, I've made sure to be pleasant and civil with him, but also made sure not to shoot myself in the foot by being on his side of things socially. (although it's not just social interaction stuff, it's business politics - he's made mistakes and said/done some wrong things that he deserves to be an outcast for completely independent of his potential ASD traits and I want no part of being associated with someone who's said/done these things.) Anyways, I used to be a bartender for about 5 years and have wanted to get back into it part time at least because it's a pretty fun job and in this neck of the woods it can be a very lucrative job. So, I've kept in touch with workers there that have "pull," and found out when to apply for a job... applied, and then had an interview yesterday. The interview went very well, and while not for bartender but rather for a barback position (because my bar tending experience isn't as high end as they're looking for) I still want to work there and then work my way up onto the bar.

When I met the general manager he let me know they were looking for high end cocktail lounge experience vs. pubs and night clubs I've worked in, but seemed to be more interested in hiring myself and possibly a friend because he could use a couple of big guys around the place. Not sure if he meant for physical intimidation or for physical work, i.e. moving heavy stuff and sacs of grain in the brewery etc. Don't really care lol if the reason he'd hire me is that I've gotten myself into decent physical shape, then so be it.

The interview went very well.. she told me they'd be calling people by the end of next week. So, before I left I asked if that's when they were making hiring decisions by and she told me that "oh, you came very highly recommended and we're bringing you on board - it's just a matter of how many shifts I can schedule you for." Basically, the interview was a formality - she, the hiring manager, was told in advance that I was already hired and the interview was just a meet and greet! So much win! :D

While the bar gig isn't something I want to do for a career, it will be stable & likely earn me enough money from a part time job to support myself while giving me the freedom to take calculated risks with my time outside of work there. i.e. I can work for renovation contractors who don't have full time stable work so that I can build my skills in that area, and eventually I can spend some time studying again when I return to school part time to obtain education required for future business plans... or I can work at the bar only while the weather is nice and spend the rest of my time kiteboarding and so on. I love bar work for the cash flow & time flexibility. Yeah, you tend to sacrifice every weekend night.. buuuut I'm not the type to really want to go out and party on those nights anyways - rather be working the party and lining my pockets. Plus the owners I've met so far are fantastic business people that I can learn a lot from - all highly successful in their own industries, and they've built this place (a 300 person bar in a rather pricey neighbourhood as the condo buildings flanking it are selling for approx half a million dollars for 500 square feet) as their hangout vs. building it simply for business and profit reasons. Yes, it'll be run for profit, but primarily this place is these rich guys' cool hangout spot that they've all come together and built.

Now over the next few weeks or a month I'll transition from what I'm spending my time on now to working at the bar & then after seeing what my schedule will be like there, I'll see what other work and projects I can fit in and go from there.

In conclusion, having treated my symptoms how I have (see sig) has resulted in me being much more socially successful as a potential employee & I know will result in much more business success in the future. I can sense it.. I'm now "on the inside," communicating and socializing with highly successful Type-A go getter businessmen who've made it. I'll continue to learn from them and incorporate the best parts of their attitudes into my own for my own success. I've learned a lot from school and books over the years, but I'm learning more and more from people lately than anything else. All in all, I don't think I'll ever have difficulty finding or keeping work ever again for when I want to work for someone else... and eventually, I hope to parlay all of that over to business success of my own vs. working for someone else. But for now, I'll work for them and just keep on learning until I know what I need to and have the resources (money) I need to eventually launch the business I intend to. All of this is all a step in the right direction and I'm feeling pretty good about it right now. 8)

Just thought I'd share.. not to boast or rub it in, but to give further insight into the changes in my life since treating my symptoms the way that I have. Hopefully this thread inspires some people to take me seriously vs. discount what I've shared as BS, and then maybe it could change your lives the way it has mine. But that's up to you. Do feel free to get in touch via pm if you have any questions about any of it.


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MissDorkness
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18 Aug 2014, 2:00 pm

It's really great to hear the positive updates from folks.

It is exciting and so complimentary to get the offers you have. Getting a job offer is great enough, but, knowing you have the option of taking it or not is far more empowering and thrilling.