Managing a professional relationship after rejection

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I just got turned down for a dream job in a field I want to break into. It's been really hard to take because of the way the hiring manager turned me down. This person promised to me after I applied that I'd be a contender for the job and said they'd follow up later. I tried to follow up later in person and over e-mail, and the hiring manager ignored the follow-ups, instead a bit later telling a mutual acquaintance (who passed the message onto me) the position was frozen due to lack of funds. I found a grant I could use to fund the position and e-mailed the hiring manager twice suggesting I work for the company under the grant - again no reply. Several months went by, and I heard a mutual acquaintance with similar career goals to me was just hired for the position. I guess the job got unfrozen, but of course I was never notified.

The hiring manager who turned me down for a job is well-regarded and high up in my field, and I'm in a position where I'm forced to continue to interact with them if I still want to try to break into the field. This person acts friendly to my face when we're forced to interact (they don't seek me out at all), ignoring that we ever had interactions about this job or that I sent multiple unanswered e-mails. I'm upset and I can barely stand the thought of seeing this person again. The fact that they're acting like nothing happened is making me really angry. What I need help with is how to manage this relationship in a way that's professional but doesn't feel dishonest to what happened with the job.

some thing similar happened to me while applying for my current job. the department head said she'd let me know if I was accepted for the training to qualify for the job. she never did, despite me calling her twice and asking for an update. she broke two other promises in the time running up to me getting the job.

she has all the marbles, so she has no idea I have a negative opinion of her. if I'd pointed out her shortcomings, I doubt I'd have my job now. do your best to forgive, if you can't, act as if you have. that's more self-preservation than dishonest. the person already knows they have treated you dismissively. you'll give yourself the best possible chance by being the bigger person.

It looks like you have no choice but to deal with. Be aware that he's a two-faced liar. Never trust him about anything and don't fall for his nice guy act. Don't bother trying to confront him about his sociopathic behavior, he won't accept blame for any of his problems because in his mind he thinks he's perfect and blameless. He'll just find some way to blame everything on you make false accusations that will end up hurting you in your industry since he's an influential figure in your field. I know it's not a fun solution but you'll just have to put up with him, pretend everything is fine and not retaliate even though he deserves it.

Here's something that helped me deal with such people,
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People
It teaches that you shouldn't try to argue or reason with impossible people since they'll never give you a fair fight. Winning an argument with these people is impossible because they think they're perfect and can do no wrong. That article is written for overtly hostile impossible people yet some of the tactics are still useful for dealing with two-faced impossible people.

never let them see you sweat. in other words, don't under any circumstances let that person know about these feelings. be polite when you are around the person and do whatever business you are supposed to do. also, try not to take it personal. this is just how things are in the business world.

Thanks. I won't trust this person anymore and will do my absolute best to do nothing with this person other than make generic polite conversation. I understand this happens in business, but in this particular case the hiring manager was someone I had a positive personal relationship with previously. This person knew this was a dream job for me that probably won't come up again anytime soon. The hiring manager never avoided me like this until I applied to the job. A big part of me keeps wondering if it my applying to the job was a mistake and ruined a previously positive relationship. It's times like this I wish I had an NT shadow to explain complex social situations to me!