Conflicted messages, and frustration

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I have for some time felt frustrated in my job. To begin with, there's the lack of certainty as whether I'll still have it in the new year, but let's leave that aside for now.

Daily frustrations are more irritating. My manager has done a 180 degree turn in her style of operating over the past while. My colleagues have all noticed this and we each have a lot less autonomy. I find she simply sometimes doesn't read her emails properly. We are all guilty of that from time-to-time, granted, but...yeah. Then I'll get a stack of emails say as XYZ been done even though at times I've sent her 3-4 emails saying what I have done. Email is not the best form of communication, I know. We are all very dependent on it.

Other issues are that projects have been delayed/stuck in draft mode for months. I give her files that seem to go nowhere. I'm aware she's incredibly busy, but I'm getting sick of it. A few times I've left the office feeling very wound up. There is no deputy manager, btw.

Sometimes in my head the conversation goes like this.

'Can you prioritise this for today?'

'Yep, I did a few days ago.'

'Can you progress this today?'

'I already have. I sent you emails about it. I'm waiting on everyone else to get back to me...'

Has anyone experienced similar issues? If so, how did you deal with it? I've tried a few things. I've put deadlines in email subject deadlines, I've sent her my 'to do' list in a very easy to read format to show her what I'm working on and what she needs to sign off.

Luckily I only worked for people like this for short periods of time, they never lasted long.

My husband's current boss is like this and it drives him up a wall.
*I* am stressed out by it, because I have to hear the same complaints over and over and it's a struggle for me to listen to that much talking at once, especially something I've heard before.
His only recourse is to go over his boss's head. It took him months to do that, but, he's very frustrated and agitated (he's not on the spectrum, but, he is OCPD. He just can't grasp that when someone says something, they should mean it and remember it or act on it but his boss is not remotely like that.).

I have also worked with his boss on some projects and find the same things. It's aggravating, but, I am not a contract worker, I'm a volunteer, so, I just go on doing what I want, it's not like they'll fire me, or if they do it would impact me.
My husband doesn't have that freedom.
He's about at his wit's end, and I have no idea what to tell him, except he should keep a running list of problems. e.g.
1. On 12/04, 'boss' gave orders directly conflicting with orders given on 06/15.
2. On 11/17, 'boss' did not reply to client (X company) request for information.
3. On 09/20 and 10/04, 'boss' did not respond to approval for invoice dated 09/19.
4. On 10/12, 'boss' was informed verbally and via email that X document for Y Client did not conform to usual standard, ran email anyway.

Always have a paper trail.
Boss may be great at his job, but, he sucks at managing and shoots from the hip too often for my tastes.

Best of luck to you and I hope others have some good advice.