Why Haven't They Fired Me Already?

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I've been working a really nasty IT job since June of 2014, doing in-house technical support. To be honest, I had an ominous feeling about it the minute I walked into the building on my first day. What triggered the ominous feeling, interestingly, was the shape of the ceiling in the main hallway (!); it was sloping, like the inside of a house roof. That and seeing my boss for the first time on the job, although he seemed perfectly fine when he interviewed me. The company handles sensitive government data, so the rules on information security are extremely strict. Even mundane things like changing the wallpaper are prohibited. Fair enough; they have good reasons for that. But... it's been very difficult to find out which actions are allowed and which one are not allowed. My boss was never helpful, and many a time, flat-out refused to answer my questions, even during the training period. According to him, I'm "supposed to know this", at a new job where I get to view government data, no less.

I tried to get around it by asking end users about what my colleagues did. (Asking colleagues directly is out of the question, because my boss sits 20 feet away, and doesn't want people talking to each other.) My boss heard me through a hidden microphone, and said I disrespected him by going around him when he refused to answer me. The microphone can transmit voice, but doesn't make recordings, so this is legal.

Over 6 months later, I have two write-ups on my record, I've been called into the boss's office more times than I can count, and I get critical feedback almost on a daily basis. Logically speaking, I should have been walked out the door months ago. And yet, I'm still there. I also experience things like recurring nightmares, throwing up after lunch, and even panic attacks on the job (which I stopped caring enough to be embarrassed about).

Now, I did something underhanded. (Then again, underhanded actions are the name of the game in today's American capitalism.) In late November, I went to a psychiatric clinic, and got myself diagnosed with Panic Disorder. (Which was technically true anyway.) Then I disclosed that (as opposed to my AS) at work; to my boss, his boss, and the HR department. For a month after that, my boss turned into a perfect angel. But that didn't last long. Now he treats me worse than ever, although at this point, I mentally checked out, and my fear of a termination is virtually nonexistent.

Back to the termination topic. Why haven't they fired me already? If my performance is as bad as my boss says it is, why the hell are they keeping me? IT guys are a dime a dozen; it'll be a piece of cake for them to replace me. Heck, another new guy, who started after me, barely lasted two months before he was fired. Are they keeping me because of the Panic Disorder on my personnel file? Or are they being underhanded back, by driving me to quit, so they won't have to pay unemployment benefits? If so, I've dealt with that before, and know how to push back.

Maybe you haven't been fired because you're really good at your job. And maybe your boss criticises you and is unpleasant because he's a jerk.

I think I'm doing an OK job, rather than really good, although according to my boss, I'm doing a p*ss-poor job. He even showed me an Excel spreadsheet listing the number of cases resolves by each member of his department. My numbers were the lowest in the department. I see a problem with that for three reasons: (1) somebody has to have the lowest numbers, (2) my boss sabotaged me by reassigning my cases to other people right before I can close them, and (3) the Excel spreadsheet or the numbers on it could be fake altogether.

I'm planning to quit sometime later this month,before I actually get fired. Going to HR is not an option, since HR is there to help managers, not the clock-punching riffraff. Still, if I'm indeed doing bad job, with the (possibly fake) numbers to prove it, what the hell is stopping them from firing me? Could it really be my panic disorder diagnosis?

I was hired by an iOS app startup as their scapegoat once. Filed ~250 bug tickets in three weeks prior to their public beta. Fired on a bloody Saturday. It's entirely possible they're just cranky people by nature. I know those Apple fanboys were, save for their JavaScript & Linux dudes. At least you probably don't have to cringe every time an iPad falls over...

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

OMFG.. This job sounds really awful.
Why are you doing this to yourself? Can you find something else? Or don't you have any choice at the moment?

Until last week I was unemployed for something like nine straight months as a technologist. It's quite the pick your poison scenario.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Interesting situation. You cannot read the insides of the headparts of the hu-man so I suggest going by what he says. You seem the articulate type anyways so I bet you've said to him "either give me specific instructions or stop wasting both our time yelling at me", and gone over his head and explained that you're at a loss of what to do and that you are doing your best that you know. I'm interested to know how the conversation actually played out, because clearly he's a terrible manager for spending so much time and focus on you with no improvement.

I don't know if you tried it yet but standing up for yourself openly and telling everyone that matters that this is a 'him' issue will help and you need more explanation. At the very least build a paper trail and keep in contact with the hire ups, because they will hold on to that stuff and you might save another employee the trouble in the future. Your so called 'underhanded' move in my opinion was not underhanded at all and in fact a sign that you are not handling this well. If you go the mental health route the company knows you are a liability from the start.

If you really want to know why you aren't gone then you need to ask him. Judging from what you typed I'm guessing that the manager probably is under pressure to do something and you've become his project. If you are a scapegoat, he's doing a mighty fine job of it and you quitting only adds to his power within the company. Don't let him win OP.

My advice is keep your head down and quietly look for something else. Try to avoid getting fired at all costs. At this point your resume probably looks OK and there are likely fewer qualified people than you imagine. Also you are probably underpaid which is the best reason for you to give prospective employers when asked why you want a new job.

If you feel that your boss is unfairly singling you out, then feel free to go over HR's head and report him. A lot of companies have specialized hotlines for workplace hazing/harassment. If you feel that quitting is in your absolute best interest, then go that route. Just be sure that you have another means of employment before quitting. As far as to why you haven't been fired yet, perhaps, as others have mentioned, you're not doing such a bad job and your boss is just trying to bust your balls.

If your workplace is familiar to a persistent turnover of employees, its managers probably have figured that the workplace simply is what it is and they are prohibited from making the systemic changes that are need to bring back some semblence of humanity to it. They accept that employment turnover will be high, and realize that they don't need to be nice. They will continue to get paid anyway.

THIS IS IDENTICAL TO MY EXPERIENCE - I worked in auto insurance claims at various places since 2003. I have had this supervisor of your numerous times. Something about being an aspie makes us question EVERYTHING! We will literally obsess over an issue afraid of doing the wrong thing and go ask our boss when they just want us to be self-sufficient and figure it out. I mean it's insane to us that we're trying to do the right thing and trying to avoid critical errors based on lack of information and that somehow offends our superiors!?

This one supe I had at my last claims job (i just got fired from working tech support at TWC) was such a freaking monster. She would tell me to quote: "ZIP IT!" a dozen times a day. I was a laughing stock and I had no idea why as I wasn't diagnosed at that time.

So....this is what i did and you can decide if it was the right thing. I eventually found a co-worker who was getting the same treatment from this supe (she really was just a b***h) and we would talk daily about our options as it was an extremely hostile workplace EVERY day. We both ended up going to her boss and he was useless - then we took it to HR and they actually wrote her up and told her I was the one who complained. I then heard from numerous co-workers she was spreading this all over the office so yet again I went to her boss and explained these rumors are further sign of how unprofessional she is. That was a friday - they fired me over the phone on monday morning.

I have gone through this type of thing at every job I have worked at. I am loud, talk fast, over explain, talk and complain too much, have a weird voice....the list goes on....