Even at 46, I'm slowly improving....

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I start a new job Monday.

I'm "proud" because of how I managed to handle the mess at my old job.

*** BACKGROUND ***

I detailed some of what I was going through in the following thread...
viewtopic.php?t=273737

In short....They said they wanted to keep me as permanent, full-time. They never did make the transition, and the "opportunity" they gave me seemed to put a lot on my shoulders. It seemed more like, "We will keep you if you prove to be too useful to get rid of," as compared to, "We will keep you because you've proven you can do the job." Certainly, other new hires did not bear the weight I was expected to carry.

This was a real issue for me because I turned down a full-time job with benefits in order to stay with them...believing their offer to be sincere. Yes, the overall deal from the new employer would be less than what I was hoping to get where I was at, but it was being offered without my having to do any more "hoop jumping" to obtain it.

When I turned down the job, my gut instinctively knew I was making a bad choice. I really need to learn how to trust my gut on these things.

Well, as they began to nitpick my work performance and slowly ratchet up the stress, I was really getting more and more messed up. I was determined to NOT just get up and walk out because that would cost me any unemployment benefits.

So, I began keeping a journal of everything that happened at work so I didn't need to trust my memory to tie exact events to the people and dates when they occurred. I also used my smart phone to record everything at work (I'd save the clips that covered "incidents" that happened at work). In the past two weeks of work, they were telling me to not come in every other day. This made work pile up, and the other person who can do my job was not ensuring that things were turned in on time. Day by day, I was waiting for this to snowball into a big problem they would try to blame on my "incompetence."

*** CURRENT DAY ***

Needless to say, I had "checked out" weeks ago. I focused on two things, not letting them get under my skin to provoke a reaction I would later regret and doing no more than my job required of me. They had exhausted my "good faith," and while it's possible I was being paranoid in how I was reading the situation, I had decided I was going to "trust my gut" for a change. I was already looking for a new job, and I just began looking more in earnest.

Well, I put in for a job early this week. It was right up my alley (something I had been doing for over 8 years), and I figured I'd give it a shot. We had a lot of snow and ice this week, so I didn't make it into work because of the roads (the office was closed 2 days, and when it reopened, not many made it in). I had an appointment for an interview on Friday. The interview went well. It was easy to be myself because I knew what I could do...the question is if there was "chemistry." Well, I can't answer that last bit, but certainly everything they needed, I could provide, and as this was the last day for the person who was leaving them, they really needed someone who could start on Monday.

Normally, I believe in offering two weeks notice when leaving, but as my current boss was playing games with me AND they had someone who could step into my place in a moment's notice, I saw no obligation to give them any notice. If anything, with a week out of work because of the weather, I could only imagine the garbage they might heap on me come Monday.

The interviewer said he needed to decide that day. Friday ended with no contact, and my heart sank. I'm a bit literal on this, so when someone sets a deadline and it passes, I presume the worst. I see no point lifting my spirits with false hope.

Finally, Saturday draws to a close, and I'm getting ready for bed. I decide to check my e-mail, and there is an e-mail from the interviewer extending the job offer.

I replied with an acceptance, and then composed my e-mail resignation to my current boss.

The resignation letter was hard. There was so much I wanted to say, but I kept reminding myself that there is something to be said about being the "bigger man" and not reducing myself by saying what I really felt. There's no chance of my ever going back to them, but why give them a reason to say you left under ugly terms? I apologized for the short notice, but pointed out that the new employer needed me to start immediately and that they had someone who could just step in and do the job. I also offered to answer any questions via e-mail or phone if that person needed information of stuff that transpired while I was doing the job.

And if they ever want to get in my face about leaving on essentially no notice, I will politely point out that they were not at all subtle in hinting that they wanted me to leave when they cut my days at work when there was work to be done. If anything, it will give them pause to question if they gave me the impression I was unwanted if that is not what they intended.

***

I've been in the workforce for over 28 years. I'm finally learning to control my impulses when under pressure. So often I wanted to tell them what I thought and walk out the door. During this week of snow and ice, aside from the lost pay, I really enjoyed NOT going to work because I didn't care about going to work anymore. I didn't try to sabotage them, I did my job as best as they would let me, and when given the chance to leave, I did so with grace and dignity rather than be ugly about it.

I think I've made progress.

Congratulations on the new job! That's awesome.

I'm trying to get back into the workforce, but its hard when you've been out of the market. Good that you hung in until you got a new job.

Congratulations, that's fantastic news. I am still learning how to trust my gut at 46 and I think it's an incredibly valuable thing that you did in this instance. I hope your new job is awesome and you are treated as though you are valued there.

I work hard to not burn bridges nowadays, too. I know that even though I won't be working at x place, or doing something with y group, that word gets around and people talk altogether too much. I like to leave things positive so nothing comes back to bite me in the behind later on down the track.

Congrats on the new job!

And, I admire you being the bigger person here. I'm not sure I could have. I not only scheduled meetings with people on my way out, essentially just to tell them what they did wrong, I also wrote all those things down and wove them into the training documents for my replacement. (But seriously, all were massive wastes of money... the folks I met with had viewed it as "personal" for me because I was telling them the same things for 10 years and they never believed me... until I got really blunt at that last meeting. Acknowledgements, but, no apologies.)

It sounds like you handled yourself with a lot of class. Congratulations! Let's hope the new place does a better job of keeping you!