AS interfering with my work. What should I do?

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nazaya
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15 Apr 2015, 6:54 pm

I have undiagnosed aspergers and I'm in the network marketing (NM) industry. I have to work with people, most of them strangers (I started in this precisely for enhancing social skills). I'm associated with one of the few companies that are legitimate in this industry, but when I bringing information about this activity, I must deal with skepticism and preconceived ideas of the person I'm talking with has when he/she (or kowns someone that) had a bad experience with other person or company in NM.

All of this is normal cause it's a relatively young industry, but when it is added something like avoiding eye-contact, it's a little more difficult. It's key to build trust with the new person I'm meeting, because regardless how effective our strategy of work is, it won't be possible to work as a team if there are no trust from the beginning. I know my social clumsiness has an effect on all this.

So my question is, what should I do when everything is going well but I realize my behavior is diminishing the trust? should I inform to that person about my condition so he/she don't think I have an ulterior motive? or doing that would make things worst?



SocOfAutism
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17 Apr 2015, 8:24 am

People will get used to your social skills, or what they see as a lack thereof. If they don't, it's because they don't WANT to.

You're bringing valuable information to your team. You need to keep doing that! I think you can tweak your presentation of facts slightly to help them get over their preconceptions.

I would start by debunking the preconceptions that you anticipate hearing and keep that information handy. If you're not sure what to anticipate, you can always ask people you know (or people at the grocery store or coffee shop) what they think about Company X. Another thing to do is to google "preconceptions about Company X." I can't tell you how often I find usable, professional information from putting things like that into Google.

When you're in a meeting, keep leading with the positive information and why you think you all should go with Company X. If someone says they heard such and such, just say, "You know, I heard the same thing, this is what I found" and then tell them about the debunking information you found. If you didn't anticipate what they say, you can tell them, "Ohh, that's a good point, I'll look into that."

ALWAYS finish up with something like, "What do you think?" You might not care or want to hear about it, but it's a simple way to trick people into feeling like they have valuable opinions. No matter what stupid thing they have to say you just pretend like what they say has merit. I have dealt with people this way for years and it's very effective in getting people to see things your way.



BTDT
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17 Apr 2015, 12:35 pm

I'd suggest disclosing particular issues, such as bad eye contact, or a difficulty remembering faces, but not that you have AS--unless you just happen to match up really well with someone who is well known, like that Sheldon character on Big Bang Theory. Then you can just say you are just like him, and not have to explain how your AS is not like his AS.

For instance, I just met a new neighbor and mentioned that I was particularly bad with names, and went ahead and guessed his name later in the conversation to reinforce my memory.



nazaya
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05 May 2015, 4:16 am

Thanks for your answers. Now that you mention that, I think it would be a little "agressive" if I tell directly to someone about having AS, and possibly divert his/her attention.