General Advice Needed

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Hi all,

I am 20 years old and currently studying mathematics at university and am on track for a 1st class degree but I am very worried about whether I am going to have a good quality of life after I leave. I have a few friends but hardly ever go out with them- the last time I did this being November. I feel uncomfortable asking them and don’t know how to go about doing this.

My parents are overly optimistic about my job chances just because I’m doing a maths degree and get fairly good grades, even though they are not good enough to get into competitive accountancy firms. I recently went to a meeting designed to help those with Asperger's become more employable but, shockingly, the advisers couldn’t give me any examples of people with Asperger's doing degree level jobs. There is an expectation for employees with degrees to also have good presentation and teamwork skills but people with Asperger's can be doing degrees and lack these vital skills.

My voice not being fully broken (puberphonia) has damaged my confidence since I am inaudible when there is any background noise. I am also unable to project my voice which has further damaged my ability to socialize and do presentations, making me less employable. I am currently getting speech therapy but have little faith in it working.

I used to ignore my Asperger's because I was always considered academically gifted, and I thought this was a reasonable trade-off, but I now realize that it has affected me academically as I failed the 11+ due to exam stress and was placed in a mediocre school with terrible teachers that didn’t push me to my potential. My parents allowed me to get hooked on video games throughout my childhood which removed any incentive for me to socialize or join clubs as well as reducing the amount of books I read: luckily, I now barely play video games and I managed to get into a better school to do my A-levels. I also receive 25% extra time in exams which makes me feel like a failure as many of my classmates could finish the exams on time, get similar or better grades than me and have a fully functioning social life on top.

My motor skills are poor which means I have an awkward pen grip and can’t tie shoe-laces, making me feel even more worthless: How can I be a half-way decent father/husband/employee if I can’t do these things? My parents baby me too much so I lack confidence, although lately I’ve been learning how to cook and am looking forward to having the house to myself when the rest of my family go on holiday.

My biggest worry is employment because I am unsure how to go about getting relevant work experience and am also unsure what specific job I could do. I am considering accountancy, actuarial work or statistics but have no case studies of people with Asperger's in those sectors.

I’m sorry for the hefty post but these feelings have been building up for a long time and I felt that getting feedback on here would be beneficial. I am also aware that there are many people in a worse off position than me and I am very grateful of the support I have received and I don’t mean for this post to be ungrateful.

Thank you for reading!

Ever thought about being an actuary?

I've thought about it but the application process looks very competitive so it's not a definite. Are you aware of any actuaries with ASD?

Are you grad school?
I think statistics is interesting field and good career, but it usually requires a PhD.
It is possible to improve at presentations and communication and even teamwork with practice.

Thanks for replying. I've just finished the 2nd year of an undergraduate course in the UK. It's difficult to find examples of people with Asperger's who are actuaries or statisticians which can be a bit discouraging.

You are so young, it is good you are asking these things now. Independent living skills are very important, they are the base that will support you through life and that you can always rely on even when things go wrong. Since your parents baby you they probably want to help. Either ask them for specific instructions and quizzing in how to do things or tell them that you want more practice doing things by yourself. Also you should consider occupational therapy for your motor concerns.

You sound like the kind of person who would do well in an academic setting, universities have so much built in structure and hierarchy. There are probably work arounds you could use (just look at Stephen Hawking) or positions that wouldn't involve your voice. Maybe you could be a researcher. And also don't give up on speech therapy just yet. It took me three tries over the years to find the right fit, work hard enough and lose my speech impediment.

I would be very surprised if there were NOT people with autism spectrum disorders who are actuaries/statisticians.

This field is tailor-made for Aspies--especially if they are interested in the subject matter.

You should also consider data science positions. It's a combination of stats, programming, data. Pays super well and the number of jobs keep growing year over year.

You don't need a PhD for data science, just a masters (in something quantitative). There are also data science specific masters popping up so you could look at those.

There are people with Aspergers doing degree level jobs... the lack of case studies is a fault of their case studies, rather than an indication of what Aspies can do. I'm sure plenty of the data / stats people I see are somewhere on the spectrum.

Right now, your biggest issue isn't Aspergers, its the confidence. As for your motor skills - how well can you type? Continue to try to work on things at home.

Also, just can you enlighten me on the puberphonia? If its simply that your voice hasn't broken, is it the case that it sounds like pre-pubescent? Is the fact that your sound is soft due to the fact that you physically cannot project your voice, or because you choose not to? From what I understand, having a pre-pubescent voice does not equal soft, or non-projectable, it just means its high pitched. Sorry if this is a bit personal, I'm just wondering about this since, some children are very very loud, and I definitely can hear them over background noise...

You'll get there, it just takes baby steps.