The Only Non-Geeky Employee in a Geeky Department

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I started a new job two weeks ago, and I'm in a situation that I never thought I'd be in a in a million years: I'm the only non-geeky employee in a geeky department. I work in IT, to be exact. The department is mostly, but not all, men, and a diverse mix of single, married, and with children.

My backstory is this. Starting around 3 years ago, when a highly stressful job put me in a hospital, I've been working very hard on shaking off my computer geek image. And I'm doing well at it. I lost 25 lb (12 kg) over the last year, signed up for Meetup-based sports groups, and became fairly good at approaching women via partner dancing. I went from living, thinking, and breathing computers, to outright despising them, and only put up with them for money. (Much like strippers put up with men they give lap dances to.)

My colleagues all want to discuss "Game of Thrones", "Harry Potter", Marvel comics, the Syfy Channel, Linux programming, and jailbreaking their iPhones. None of that stuff even remotely interests me, although I did chime in quite nicely in a "Hunger Games" debate once. Instead of those geeky interests, I'm more into things like sports, working out in the gym (so far, I think I'm the only one in my department who does that), world languages, volunteering at food banks, Latin dancing, and politics. My geekiest interest is trains, which one guy likes too, so I talk to him quite a bit. He even said he volunteered for a railroad museum in the past.

At lunch, I usually whip up something healthy interesting at home, then bring it to work and microwave it. Most of my colleagues' lunches seem to revolve around Doritos, Mountain Dew, and an occasional peanut butter and jelly sandwich. One woman asked for my input on hot sauces, after hearing about my foodie tendencies. Most men just tell me that a computer geek is supposed to eat Doritos for lunch. I drink a lot of water throughout the day to stay hydrated. They drink a lot of Coca Cola.

As a result, I feel very out of place. My colleagues even poked fun at me for my non-geeky interests and healthy lifestyle. I react by pretending to be really smug as a joke, but it doesn't help me feel like I belong. All in all, this is really bizarre. Me. An aspie. Working in IT. And being the only non-geek in my department. I see work as a necessary evil, and do whatever I can that has nothing to do with computers, just so I can feel human. In fact, I felt more human venting about my recent root canal than I did showing my new smartphone.

Anyone else been in this situation? How did you resolve it?

Stop, stopping your geekness.

What else is there??

You did this on purpose. Why?

Reestablish why you did that, and reevaluate those reasons.
1 Was it a mistake to change?
2 Are you sure you want to change back?

Life is about developing ourselves, you have moved forward on your own personal development. Whether what you did was right or wrong isn't up to me, but what's cool about it is that you weren't stagnant. You worked diligently and with purpose (which puts you ahead of 99%) and you were successful. (which puts you ahead of another .6%).

Perhaps what will be more interesting is how you'll develop your own unique blend of Jock and Dork.

The best way is probably to simply remember that you are awesome and cool (even if it's not super true) and friendly and be accepting.
Or at least that works for me. Doing that I can, and have, been accepted into any group. And it's fun too. =)


P.S. being awesome and cool means it's okay to do what you wish, you don't have to go back to eating Doritos unless you want.

1. Not at all.
2. I don't want to change back.

Perhaps me getting rid of my geeky traits was a knee-jerk reaction to being landed in a hospital by job stress. But I really like my new personality. I'm much excited about discussing differences between salsa (dance) and bachata, or between Frank's RedHot sauce and Tabasco sauce, rather than between Batman and Spiderman. One is socially intriguing or at least mildly helpful; the other is just "meh!"

That said, I don't judge my geekier colleagues. I just can't relate to their interests, popular among IT guys. Much like they don't care for baseball scores or scenic hiking trails. Plus, it's rather interesting that I find it more humanizing to talk about my root canal than about my smartphone.

If that's who you are, more power to you! Conform to your norms, not that of the department you're in. If the old lifestyle stressed you out, and the new one doesn't, it sounds like you have found a solution. Good luck !

Just a quick update. I got to know my colleagues better, and we were able to find some interests in common: dog breeds, urban gentrification trends, and debating nearby taco places (my office building is in a Mexican area). We talk about those a lot, and agree to disagree on the rest. Any kind of ribbing toward me is at a very tolerable level. Plus, there's the guy who likes trains, like I do.

Still, when we compare our weekend stories on Monday mornings, differences remain. My stories are mostly about going swing dancing, checking out an art festival, or hiking in the woods. Theirs focus heavily on watching Netflix, playing with their smartphones, etc.