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bashir
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Joined: 2 Feb 2015
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Posts: 6

03 Sep 2015, 9:14 am

So I started a new job as a bartender a few weeks ago,
and it's throwing up a lot of problems that I'm not well equipped to deal with

The work itself is OK, and customers are OK as well, but the professional environment is alien to me.
My biggest problem is how to manage relationships at work, and stems from my inability to communicate with others.

My boss is an OK guy, but he keeps trying to mentor me and I'm not comfortable with the way that blurs the line between and employee and anything else, I don't understand how to deal with that at all, he asks me to be open, then turns into my boss against when he hears something he doesn't like.
my innate honestly is a frequent source of trouble, I can't hide my feelings at all from anyone and I have never been able to, the problem is when I'm sad or angry he thinks it's deliberate projection, and thinks I'm defiant or mopey.

My co-workers make fun of me because I have no sense of humour, they don't mean to offend me but that is what they do.
I'm so literal that I can't understand jokes most of the time, and they frustrate me
and because voice-tone is a weakness of mine when people joke that I chase after a customer who dropped a dollar I do, and look like a fool to everyone else.

They had me polishing cutlery the other day, and I polished several thousand pieces of silverware and sorted them all over a period of several hours, apparently nobody else at work could deal with the tedium so the task had never been completed in seven years. There are things I'm good at, but my problem is that being so junior I don't have the flexibility to find a way of working that suits me, and hospitality isn't great at the best of times

All the advice I've seen simply says "be self employed", and I hold down a business on the side as best I can,
but the realities of the world dictate that I get a 9-5 (or 3-1 in my case).
I didn't declare that I had aspergers when I applied for the job, because my fear was that the application would have either gone straight into the trash, or into the "token employee" section.

Any advice from people who've made it in traditional employment would be really appreciated



kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

03 Sep 2015, 9:25 am

If you're a bartender, you're in a rough job for an Aspie--

and you seem to be handling it well.

How I've been able to manage at work for 35 years: adopt a sort of "court jester" persona. I joke around, react to my environment--but I don't really get involved in the social chit-chat.

Always be pleasant to your fellow employees. If they confide something in you, don't repeat it to someone else. At least attempt to seem like you're listening.

I make myself useful job-wise. If I get in trouble for being weird, I have my abilities in my job to fall back on. I was almost fired 30 years ago---but I was able to prove my excellence in my job, so they kept me.



glebel
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Joined: 24 Jul 2015
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Location: Mountains of Southern California

03 Sep 2015, 10:44 am

The shifts in personas from work buddy to supervisor can be a little unsettling, I agree, but that is something you have to adjust to. Look at it this way, at least he shows that he cares somewhat for you. And you have already shown them that you can perform a task that no one else can or will do. If you keep looking around you, you will find the niche for you. Good Luck! :)


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