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"You can't fake personality"- article

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Space
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03 Sep 2015, 11:36 am

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-i-hi ... re-0903-p1

In the article, the author writes:

Quote:
The first thing we look for when hiring new staff is personality. In my eyes, personality always wins over book smarts. Company knowledge and job-specific skills can be learned, but you can’t train a personality. We look for people who are friendly and considerate, and who like working with others.


This is specifically biased against people with AS. We often bring the most qualifications and experience to the table, and then get beat out by someone who hasn't done the work, is less intelligent, but has friends in the organization and is popular. This type of mantra really angers me, because I have been struggling for years to secure a good job in my field, only to be passed over in favor of less qualified people who are more sociable and likeable. It makes me feel like unless you can win a popularity contest, and are a dumb happy go lucky person who is always smiling and happy for no reason, then you're dog s**t to them.

HR people seem to be oversensitive to AS people and things that we can't control come off as "creepy" to them. I know this is just a natural reaction and not something personal, but it really hurts our chances of getting hired for jobs we are deserving of and can be very successful in.

People always think I'm upset or unhappy... well there's two sides to this. 1 is that I lack facial expression and eye contact, even when I am happy. 2 is that you would be depressed and unhappy all the time too if you found it virtually impossible to get/keep a girlfriend or get steady employment, even when you have years of experience and more qualifications than the people who ARE getting hired.



Hyperborean
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03 Sep 2015, 11:54 am

The faulty premises on which most recruiting is based - which you describe very accurately - is the main cause of the incompetent performance of so many organisations, particularly but not exclusively large corporations. According to their reasoning, the worst qualities you can have are intelligence, logic and good qualifications. The most desirable quality is to be a jerk ... and we've all seen the results of that. 8O

I hope you find the sort of job that you will excel at.



androbot01
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03 Sep 2015, 12:08 pm

Space wrote:
In the article, the author writes:
Quote:
The first thing we look for when hiring new staff is personality. In my eyes, personality always wins over book smarts. Company knowledge and job-specific skills can be learned, but you can’t train a personality. We look for people who are friendly and considerate, and who like working with others.


This is specifically biased against people with AS. We often bring the most qualifications and experience to the table, and then get beat out by someone who hasn't done the work, is less intelligent, but has friends in the organization and is popular.

You're basing your conclusion on the assumption that AS people can't be friendly and considerate. I disagree with this premise. I hear what you're saying about eye contact and such, but you can make up for it. Mostly just be aware of those around you. A polite nod as you pass someone in the hallway, a step back to hold the door for someone, a million small things that can really add up and can make up for things that can't be changed.

Btw, I'm not saying that this hiring prejudice is valid, but it is the way things are.



Space
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03 Sep 2015, 12:15 pm

I think most AS people are friendly and considerate. I think virtually all people, whether they are friendly and considerate or not, will be friendly and considerate during a job interview. Saying this is just a smoke screen for what they are really getting at, which is they want a specific type of personality and affability.



SocOfAutism
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03 Sep 2015, 1:00 pm

Space wrote:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-i-hire-you-cant-fake-personality-passion-purpose-richard-branson?trk=eml-mktg-inf-m-howihire-0903-p1

In the article, the author writes:
Quote:
The first thing we look for when hiring new staff is personality. In my eyes, personality always wins over book smarts. Company knowledge and job-specific skills can be learned, but you can’t train a personality. We look for people who are friendly and considerate, and who like working with others.


This is specifically biased against people with AS. We often bring the most qualifications and experience to the table, and then get beat out by someone who hasn't done the work, is less intelligent, but has friends in the organization and is popular. This type of mantra really angers me, because I have been struggling for years to secure a good job in my field, only to be passed over in favor of less qualified people who are more sociable and likeable. It makes me feel like unless you can win a popularity contest, and are a dumb happy go lucky person who is always smiling and happy for no reason, then you're dog s**t to them.

HR people seem to be oversensitive to AS people and things that we can't control come off as "creepy" to them. I know this is just a natural reaction and not something personal, but it really hurts our chances of getting hired for jobs we are deserving of and can be very successful in.

People always think I'm upset or unhappy... well there's two sides to this. 1 is that I lack facial expression and eye contact, even when I am happy. 2 is that you would be depressed and unhappy all the time too if you found it virtually impossible to get/keep a girlfriend or get steady employment, even when you have years of experience and more qualifications than the people who ARE getting hired.


I agree with this. I've been in so many interviews (on the hiring end) I couldn't imagine a ballpark figure. Looked at countless resumes. I hired an undisclosed aspie before I left my job and my other employees ignored him. Didn't like him. He left after me. HR and my employees (young women) were looking for a "personality fit" and I wasn't because I wasn't looking for another person to giggle all day and take two hour lunches. I wanted a WORKER.

Don't get me wrong, I also hired the gigglers. But you can only have so many of those. Diversity is the key to a productive workplace.



androbot01
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03 Sep 2015, 2:34 pm

Space wrote:
Saying this is just a smoke screen for what they are really getting at, which is they want a specific type of personality and affability.

I don't think there's a smoke screen. I think they're pretty clear about it. The rules really aren't that hard to learn.



Space
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03 Sep 2015, 3:10 pm

androbot01 wrote:
Space wrote:
Saying this is just a smoke screen for what they are really getting at, which is they want a specific type of personality and affability.

I don't think there's a smoke screen. I think they're pretty clear about it. The rules really aren't that hard to learn.

I don't think you understand what I wrote. Everyone tries to be friendly and courteous when they know they are being judged, AS and NT. I've done that myself, and I keep getting rejected for jobs. Obviously, there is more to it, because I don't know what I could possibly be doing wrong (everyone tells me I am doing all the right things) and I keep getting rejected for jobs.

Explain to me how they are being clear about it. Explain the rules to me please.



androbot01
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03 Sep 2015, 3:29 pm

The rules are simple, but costly to adhere to. The first and most important is to remain aware of those around you at all times. A lot of rudeness comes from being oblivious to what's going on around you. For me and I assume a lot of autistics it can be overwhelming to do this. My instinct is to shut out the world as much as possible. To cocoon and stay in my own mind. But when you are unaware of others, rudeness often ensues. Nts don't have this problem, because they naturally are aware of others and enjoy being so.
So extend this concept from common courtesies like holding doors, helping the elderly, etc and take it to the level of emotional awareness. I review previous conversations I've had with someone prior to a meeting, so as to ask pertinent questions.
Mostly the rules are be aware and react appropriately. If you shut the world out, it will shut you out.



Space
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03 Sep 2015, 3:47 pm

androbot01 wrote:
The rules are simple, but costly to adhere to. The first and most important is to remain aware of those around you at all times. A lot of rudeness comes from being oblivious to what's going on around you. For me and I assume a lot of autistics it can be overwhelming to do this. My instinct is to shut out the world as much as possible. To cocoon and stay in my own mind. But when you are unaware of others, rudeness often ensues. Nts don't have this problem, because they naturally are aware of others and enjoy being so.
So extend this concept from common courtesies like holding doors, helping the elderly, etc and take it to the level of emotional awareness. I review previous conversations I've had with someone prior to a meeting, so as to ask pertinent questions.
Mostly the rules are be aware and react appropriately. If you shut the world out, it will shut you out.

This is all basic common sense stuff, even to an AS person if they have spent years working closely with NT people. This is not the reason I am having trouble getting the job I want.



starkid
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06 Sep 2015, 12:05 am

androbot01 wrote:
A lot of rudeness comes from being oblivious to what's going on around you. For me and I assume a lot of autistics it can be overwhelming to do this. My instinct is to shut out the world as much as possible. To cocoon and stay in my own mind. But when you are unaware of others, rudeness often ensues. Nts don't have this problem, because they naturally are aware of others and enjoy being so.


Isn't this exactly why the requirements are biased against autistic people, just like the OP said? Autistics can do it, but it doesn't come naturally and is exhausting.



androbot01
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06 Sep 2015, 8:28 am

starkid wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
A lot of rudeness comes from being oblivious to what's going on around you. For me and I assume a lot of autistics it can be overwhelming to do this. My instinct is to shut out the world as much as possible. To cocoon and stay in my own mind. But when you are unaware of others, rudeness often ensues. Nts don't have this problem, because they naturally are aware of others and enjoy being so.


Isn't this exactly why the requirements are biased against autistic people, just like the OP said? Autistics can do it, but it doesn't come naturally and is exhausting.

Absolutely, the requirements are biased against autistics. Not only in employment, but in any social situation. Constant rejection hurts, especially when one is trying hard.
I'm just saying that some of the basic social necessities are achievable.
Space has said this isn't the issue in his case, so fair enough.



Space
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11 Sep 2015, 1:00 am

I think most AS people can learn enough of the basic social necessities to coexist in the world and do some basic things. The problem is, they will never be as good as NTs at this, or have these abilities come naturally to them the way they do to NTs. The problem is that we are in competition with NTs for jobs and relationships, so we are always last to be picked for either. I just don't think it's fair that we compete with them at a game that they (NTs) designed. I think the depression and lonliness that affects most AS people is 90% due to not having a job (or not having a job up to their potential or abilities) and not having a life partner. Getting repeatedly rejected in these two arenas does a number on your psyche, as does being told that you are the problem (by NTs) without having any real practical solutions. I would give anything just to have a steady good job and a partner in life and those are the two things I don't ever see myself being able to get. They are based on beating out the competition, and for every opportunity there is always someone just a bit better than you. I'm 32 and still waiting for the day when I'll be good enough to meet NT standards and can start living the life I want, I don't know if that day will ever come.



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11 Sep 2015, 6:20 pm

I think it depends on what job sector you are looking at. if you are looking to get hired in a very socially demanding type of environment(like a call center)- forget it. I would never be able to hold down a job like that. Actually, in my experience, most jobs tend to go on personality only for the initial interview but once I've gotten my foot through the door, everyone seems very relaxed and chilled out and not expect me to be a social butterfly. Actually, there is hardly ever any social interaction where I work. People really do not want to talk and NTs usually hate being at work and would rather be home watching tv or hanging with their friends. That means they try to get in and out as fast as possible.

Don't let this personality fit thing get you bogged down. You can absolutely fake a personality and I have done it many times during interviews and have landed the jobs that I wanted/so desperately needed by acting like an NT during the interview. Once you get the job, that all changes and you don't have to be so fake anymore. I recommend trying it. Try to fake your personality for the initial stages just to get your foot through the door......if they are that daft that they are looking for people to kiss up to them and be misled..so be it. Feed it to them on a spoon.



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11 Sep 2015, 8:23 pm

Personality can be faked for short periods, but once you're out of your comfort zone for too long, your true self bleeds through.



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12 Sep 2015, 2:42 am

Yes it is bias against us but I can't blame them, cops aren't hiring anybody in wheelchairs so our disability can and does get held against us.



Nathaniel75
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12 Sep 2015, 5:33 am

I know it stings, but a prospective employee's personality matters more than anything else, unless you get into the really specific and high skill levels.

You can teach employees how to read charts or replace a part, but you cannot teach them to be friendly and make customers like them.. I'm not saying AS people are jerks, but social skill is literally the most important trait a worker can have for most jobs. I know we're at a disadvantage here, but if any AS person wants to succeed professionally they need to learn the basics of social interaction.